The Talk: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

[[File:Cutebold_The_Talk_7300.png|link=Dwarf Fortress|frame|It's a wonder there are so many [[Fan Nickname|cutebolds]].]]

 

{{quote|''"When a man and a woman are in love, or very drunk, they..."''|'''Stan Smith''', ''[[American Dad]]''}}

Compare [[This and That]].

 

* There was a Swedish ice cream manufacturer (whose trick was the fact that they drove up to your driveway, selling ice cream to the whole neighborhood) whose commercial showed a young boy a condom to his father and asking what it was and the father trying to figure out what to tell his son, only to be interrupted by the [[Ear Worm|insane, yet addictive jingle that tells us that the ice cream truck is about]], and then distracting the kid by offering him ice cream. Cut to the kid eating ice cream in front of the ice cream truck and showing the condom to another kid who ''also'' had a condom.

* There is McDonald's commercial where a young kid asks his father what sex is. They go to eat and you see him making gestures [[Take Our Word for It|but don't hear what he says]]. After he's done the child says "all that goes here?" and shows a sign up sheet for soccer that was asking what his gender was.

 

 

* In the anime ''[[Azumanga Daioh]]'', Tomo asks a drunken Kurosawa-sensei to explain it, which she does. We don't hear any dialogue, but are treated to the girls' reactions as their faces steadily become redder (with the exception of little Chiyo, who is clueless) and some odd arm movements (Nothing explicit, just... odd).

** What makes it ''hilarious'' is the [[Relax-O-Vision]] (and music) accompanying the scene, and then, when Nyamo is sober again the next morning, [[Hilarity Ensues|Chiyo asks some questions.]] Watch the whole scene [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY8L_apFieE#t=1m20s here].

 

 

* An old (and much [[Better Than It Sounds]]) ''[[Harry Potter]]'' [[Fan Fiction]] entitled ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/288735/1/ Plugs and Outlets]'' featured Arthur Weasley explaining the facts of life to Ron in terms of the titular [[Muggle]] technology. The mostly hilarious sequel ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/340495/1/ Quills and Ink Bottles]'' is the same principle applied to Molly Weasley telling Ginny about the facts of life, and the trilogy is completed with ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/358637/1/ Quidditch Anyone?]'' in which Sirius Black tells Harry that there are several kinds of girls--represented by the different Quidditch balls.

** There is a [[Harry Potter]] [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2390459/19/ FanFiction] in which Ginny, caught by her parents in a somewhat suggestive position, is then given [[The Talk]] by Arthur, using the metaphor of Plugs and Sockets, while short circuits represent pregnancy and childbirth.

 

 

* There's a ''[[Star Trek (film)|Star Trek XI]]'' fic [http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/8314.html?thread=23814266#t23814266 here,] written for that fandom's [[Kink Meme]] where for family reasons Chekov had never been given the Talk, and the bridge team decides to rectify this. Unfortunately, rather than selecting one person to do this, almost all of them decide to chime in on it independently. Spock uses diagrams. Bones uses the [[Scare'Em Straight]] method.

** There was a hilarious one in which [[SPOCK]] is mailed a pamphlet called "[[Mate or Die|Pon Farr]] and you."

 

 

* Painfully, ''painfully'' straight in ''[[American Pie]]''.

* In ''[[Beethoven (film)|Beethoven]]'s 2nd'', a brother and a sister desperately need to distract their parents from their scheme... so the six-year-old sister goes to their father and asks where babies come from. It works wonderfully.

 

 

* [[Terry Pratchett]]'s ''[[Discworld]]'' novels have played with this.

** There were two attempts by the older witches in the Lancre Coven to explain it to Magrat (who's almost a [[Chaste Hero|Chaste Heroine]]). In ''[[Discworld/Wyrd Sisters|Wyrd Sisters]]'', Granny Weatherwax quickly decides (as she did with Esk in ''[[Discworld/Equal Rites|Equal Rites]]'') that she's not up to the task, being a [[Celibate Hero|Celibate Heroine]] herself. In ''[[Discworld/Lords and Ladies|Lords and Ladies]]'', the decidedly non-celibate Nanny Ogg makes a more spirited attempt which is completely misunderstood ("After the wedding, is what I'm hinting about." "Oh, ''that''. No, most of that's being done by a caterer."), although it later transpires that Magrat was deliberately winding her up (and instead has sent away for a book on the subject, which turns out to be on ''martial arts,'' not marital arts). Verrence instead gets his information from [[Casanova|Casanunda]] and [[Bawdy Song|an interesting song sung by Nanny Ogg]]. They eventually also manage to get a proper book on marital arts; Nanny finds it one day while snooping around in the Royal bedroom. She spends a few productive minutes drawing mustaches on the pictures, which leads to Verence asking where he could buy some false mustaches. They apparently figure it out eventually, as ''[[Discworld/Carpe Jugulum|Carpe Jugulum]]'' starts with the birth of their daughter.

 

 

* Sandy and Seth Cohen's exchange in episode 1.19 of ''[[The OC]]''.

* An odd example of this is in the live-action version of ''[[The Tick (animation)]]'', where Janet and Batmanuel try to explain sex to The Tick.

{{quote|'''Teal'c''': Before your departure, there is a matter that bears discussion.

'''Rya'c''': Father, I am aware of the ways between a man and a woman.

'''Rya'c''' : Perhaps Kar'yn is right. Not all of the old traditions are worth holding on to. }}

* In ''[[Blackadder]]'', Edmund attempts to explain to Baldrick how chickens are made ("A mummy bird, and a daddy bird, who love each other very much, get certain urges...") before Baldrick interrupts with a cunning plan.

 

 

* Spoofed in a ''[[Life in Hell]]'' strip:

{{quote|'''Bongo:''' Daddy, where do babies come from?

 

 

* Subverted in the shows usual surreal manner by ''[[The Very World of Milton Jones]]'':

{{quote|'''Milton:''' You wanted to see me, father?

 

 

* [[Bill Cosby]] did a routine about the time he had to have The Talk with his daughters. They walk in on him while he's urinating, saying, "Ohhhhhh, daddy! Yooo, daddy! You've got a wallie wallie!! Are we gonna get a wallie wallie too??" He shouts back, "No, you're not gettin' nothin'! Now get outta here!" They leave, but he knows he's going to have to have The Talk with them now, "because little five-and-four-year-olds--and they go to school--love to make up songs about things. 'We saw daddy's wallie wallie...'" And before long the teacher would arrive at his doorstep with the police. "Mr. Cosby, would you come along with us, please?" "What for?" "For showing your kids your wallie wallie." So he finds his daughters in their own bathroom trying to make their own wallie wallies come out, urinating all over the floor. His wife comes in and asks what the hell he's teaching the kids.

* 19 year old comedian Daniel Sloss had a routine where he describes his father giving him [[The Talk]]. Subverted in that it was actually a talk about shaving...but poor Daniel ''thought'' it was about sex, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxyGrHsKTmo&feature=related which brings it into very close to Squick.]

 

 

* ''[[Once Upon a Mattress]]'' devotes an entire song, called "Man to Man Talk," to a mute father attempting to explain about the bees and flowers via hand motions to his son the prince. The son wants to know more about the wedding night, but the embarrassed father resorts to miming the old fable about the [[Delivery Stork]] (dangling a handkerchief from his mouth while flapping his arms and standing on one leg). Fortunately, the son sees through this.

* ''[[Theatre/Spring Awakening|Spring Awakening]]'' opens with Wendla's mother trying to give her the talk, but as a prudish 19th century woman she can't quite bring herself to fully explain it (saying only that when you love your husband a child is created). The effects of this later in the play are quite bad indeed.

 

 

** And while waiting in the lines at Autotopia, several looping short films play on the walls. One of them is a father car giving his daughter car a talk about literal birds and bees.

 

 

* In ''[[Fallout]] 3'', when the game time-jumps from your 10th to your 16th birthday, you can hear your father telling you in a voiceover: "Boys and Girls have different... parts."

* Mentioned briefly in ''[[Grand Theft Auto]]: Vice City'' in the advertisment for Blox. "Now Timmy is clean, safe from things like dyslexia and won't ask any difficult questions about reproduction."

 

 

* In [http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2005-10-12 this] ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'' strip Susan, a teenage girl who's [[Gender Bender|currently a boy]] to make things even more awkward, has to give [[The Talk]] to [[Innocent Fanservice Girl]] Grace who already knew about sex but didn't understand [[No Social Skills|why everyone else was so hung up about nudity]].

* Spoofed in a ''[[Cyanide and Happiness]]'' comic, where, just after the father tells the son about the birds and the bees, the son replies "Let me get this straight... First there's a momma bird and poppa bird, and now you're telling me they actually have ''sex'' with bees? What type of disconnected, interspecies bullsh* t is this?"

{{quote|'''Rory''': ''Davan put his penis in my mommy?!'''}}

* [[Subverted]] in ''[[Tales From the Pit]]''.

'''Adam:''' Why is Mommy sadly shaking her head? }}

 

 

* [http://walfas.org/flash/sakuflan.swf "Sakuya, what's sex?"]

* Defied in ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series]]''.

 

 

* ''[[Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy]]'' plays with this in "I Am Curious Ed", where Sarah and Jimmy try to get a straight answer on where babies come from from one of the other kids. Kevin and Nazz are too embarrassed to tell them, Johnny only seems to know how it happens with birds, and Rolf offers to tell them what his father told him when he was their age, which turns out to be "You are children, go away!". When they turn to the Eds, Eddy just plain misleads them, Edd gets [[Metaphorgotten|hung up on the metaphor of bee reproduction]], and it turns out Ed still believes in [[Delivery Stork|the stork]]. Weird note about this episode: when it was replayed a while after the first time it aired it had [[No Dialogue Episode|all of the dialogue removed]], but the music and [[Mickey Mousing]] was even louder. If the subject has anything to do with it is unknown, but it has aired again.

** The rerun issue sounds like they used a "music and effects" soundtrack. A lot of shows have these, they're used to create foreign language versions, otherwise you'd have to rebuild the entire soundtrack. I'd guess it was a cockup rather than some kind of censorship.

 

 

* Once mentioned in a biography on [[Roald Dahl]]: the closest thing Dahl ever had to a "birds and bees" talk was given to him in his boarding school by a teacher, who compared male genitalia to a "torch"<ref> or "flashlight" in [[American English]]</ref>, stating "when your torch lights up, your batteries run flat." The explanation [[Nightmare Fuel|disturbed Dahl so much]] that he developed a lifelong fear of touching his genitals.

 

 

* A [[Running Gag]] in the earliest ''[[Runaways]]'' comics had [[Cute Bruiser]] Molly asking about "gross stuff" and "bleeding" happening to her and being constantly brushed off by everyone she asks ('''''Molly''': Can I ask you a question about girl stuff? '''Gertrude''': Under no circumstances.'') It turns out she was bleeding [[Psychic Nosebleed|from her nose]], a sign of her emerging [[Puberty Superpower]].

* In the second volume of ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man]]'', after Mary Jane and Peter have been having a private talk in Peter's room, Aunt May checks to see if Peter needs one of these. He's suitably mortified.

 

 

* In the original ''[[The Parent Trap]]'', the father decides to have the Talk with Sharon (disguised as Susan) on a golf course, assuming that's why she's wanting to know about her mother all of a sudden. After a few minutes of awkward explanation, Sharon tells him she's known about ''that'' for ages.

* The live-action ''[[Casper (film)|Casper]]'' movie included this brief exchange:

 

 

* In ''[[Belgariad|Belgarath the Sorcerer]]'', Belgarath finally bites the bullet and tries to give the Talk to his daughter Polgara, something he was extremely reluctant to do, and he proceeds awkwardly...until halfway through, when he finally figures out that she already knew. She just wanted to watch him stew over it.

* Tony's dad tries to give him a talk in [[Judy Blume|''Then Again, Maybe I Won't'']], saying he doesn't really know how to go about it, as he never brought the matter up with his two older son. Tony assures him that he's learned all about it from school and friends, but his dad gives him a book later, just in case.

 

 

* Marion's talk with Joanie on ''[[Happy Days]]''

* ''[[Oliver Beene]]''

 

 

* Song: "Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice (2 versions with distinctly different answers to the question).

* From Homer and Jethro's version of "Nuttin' for Christmas":

{{quote|''I sat Johnny on my knees

* "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2nwPv4IX_8 The Bees and the Birds]" sung by Yogi Yorgesson.

 

 

* ''[[FoxTrot]]'' did this as a story arc, with Andy deciding to give Paige the talk for a second time, while the male members of the family were out on a [[Horrible Camping Trip]].

{{quote|'''Paige:''' Mom, please, we talked about all this three years ago.

 

 

* Bill Engvall talks to his son...

{{quote|So I sat him down and said, "Son, I know you already know a lot of things, so why don't you do this: why don't you tell me what you know, and I'll just fill in the blank spots." About 30 minutes later, I'm sitting there with a pen and a pad of paper, going, "You can DO that?!?"}}

 

 

* In ''[[The Women]]'', Mary gives her daughter a somewhat different kind of talk, the one about what happens when a husband and a wife fall out of love. Little Mary, however, is somewhat familiar with the subject of divorce.

 

 

* See [http://bukucomics.com/loserz/go/308 this] ''[[Loserz]]'' strip.

* In the webcomic ''[[Nip and Tuck]]'', Nip at the very least had a pretty clear idea of what sex was for from an extremely young age-after Tuck and Thelma walk in on Nip & Tuck's parents getting over "Empty Nest Syndrome", the parents reminisce about when the boys were five - cut to five-year-old Nip in a onesie, asking, "Are Tuck and me gonna have a widdle bwuvver?" "No, sweetie..." "Then what was all that for?!" His knowledge is possibly justified given that he's a farm kid and has probably seen the equivalent behaviour in [[Furry Confusion|the non-anthro animals]].

'''[[Only Sane Man|Dimo]]''': (quietly) Und hy vill teach him how to ''avoid those two''.

'''Jenka''': (quietly) Ah. Den he may haff a ''chence''. }}

 

 

* ''[[Doug]]'', In the last episode, Doug's father Phil, after spending the entire season trying to give Doug [[The Talk]], finally works up the courage to tell him, only for Doug to cut him off and say he already knows about sex, and proceeds to explain it to his Dad. It cuts immediately to after the conversation with his dad walking away saying "Thanks son, I think I learned something" in a completely dazed voice. Either his dad did not understand something (despite having three kids), or Doug is into some creepy stuff.

** Even after Doug was given [[The Talk]], his parents are completely clueless about Doug's crush on Patti, referring to her as a friend - even inviting her for a sleepover.