Up in Smoke (fanfic)/Funny
- Pedro and the Man meet for the first time when Chong hitchhikes with fake breasts.
Man: I Slept in a ditch last night and almost froze my balls off. |
- Pedro, trying to find a joint to share with Chong:
Pedro: No, that's my dick...[finds it] Here it is. |
- "Am I driving OK?" [They're parked.]
- "Hey don't take those, man."
"You just ate the most acid I ever seen anyone eat in my life." |
- Cheech, talking to the cop while stoned.
"My license? It's on the bumper." |
- The marijuana van is overheating. A cop pulls Pedro and Chong over and gets high off the fumes.
Cop: "What do you guys want?" |
- Chong on the police dispatch with Sgt. Stadenko: "Was that Lard Ass?" "HARD HAT, HARD HAT!!!"
- In a deleted scene: "The van was last seen headed to your momma's bedroom."
- The end to that bit:
"Radio dispatch! Do you know who this is?" |
- "Fuck me, Alex!"
- "I didn't know your name was Alex, man!"
- "You mean we're smoking dogshit, man?"