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{{
[[File:masthead_new.jpg|thumb|400px|But they still think they have the right to whine.]]
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''A [[Title Drop|Not Always Right]] customer is one that is 1. Trying to get something for nothing; 2. Abusing the employee for one reason or another (trying to get their own way, or for the fun of it); 3. Doesn’t realize they’re wrong.''}}
'''''[http://notalwaysright.com/ (The Customer is) Not Always Right]''''' is a Web site dedicated to stories of the stupid, ignorant, egotistical, funny and just plain mad customers whom retail staff across the world (well, mostly in the Anglo-
In 2011, the webmasters also launched two sister sites: [https://web.archive.org/web/20131104162940/http://notalwaysromantic.com/ Not Always Romantic] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20131124060212/http://notalwaysrelated.com/ Not Always Related.] In 2012, they added [http://notalwaysworking.com Not Always Working] to the collective. Later they folded back as sections on ''NAR''.
{{tropelist}}
* [[Abomination Accusation Attack]]: The site has [http://notalwaysright.com/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-embarrassments one episode] with a woman going totally overboard with this trope as she visits the movies and decides that she owns the place and has the right to deny random strangers the seats they have bought, all in the name of [[Think of the Children]] - accusing two random young women of being potential child molesters and thus disqualified from being treated with basic human respect.
* [[Abusive Parents]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/gives-new-meaning-to-family-tree “That’s not true. My mommy and daddy tie me to trees when they get mad.”]
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** While not exactly abusive (though it could be considered borderline), any parent who uses their child in a scam attempt.
* [[Accentuate the Negative]]: Reading the site, it could be easy to forget the 90% of customers who don't cause any kind of trouble exist at all.
** The staff actually put a disclaimer on their [
* [[Adaptation Displacement]]: Perhaps the second customer said it best: [http://notalwaysright.com/re-vamping-dracula "I hate Hollywood."]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/ordering-pizza-talking-baloney Now with pizza].
* [[Alliteration]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/ruh-roh-retroactive-rewards-rage Ruh Roh, Retroactive Rewards Rage]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110831141654/http://notalwaysright.com/posted-picky-procrastinator-prefers-plethora-of-paraphrenalia Posted: Picky Procrastinator Prefers Plethora of Paraphernalia]
* [[Aggressive Categorism]]: One of the annoying customers doesn't like the music. [http://notalwaysright.com/this-strange-kind-of-woman-needs-to-hush/20308 She puts the blame] for this on teenagers and their modern tasteless music... in spite of the music ''and'' the people playing it being older than her!
* [[Aint No Rule]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/reason-for-refund-holds-water The customer does have a point about their return policy.]
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* [[All Asians Are Alike]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/incheon-further-away-from-the-answer "So are you Chinese or Puerto Rican? It’s hard to tell."]
* [[All Balloons Have Helium]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/its-a-miracle-shes-still-on-the-ground "Look, it says on the packet, 'Helium Balloons'."]
* [[All Men Are Perverts]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20131110024823/http://notalwaysright.com/tag/lingerie-store As seen here].
** ''[http://notalwaysright.com/definitely-not-right Especially]'' [[Invisible to Gaydar|the gay ones.]] Wait, ''[[Fridge Logic|what?]]''
*** That story actually contains a good amount of [[Fridge Brilliance]]. The woman tried using [[I Have Boobs - You Must Obey!]] and failed ''[[Epic Fail|hard]]'' due to the guy being gay. So, what she does is shout out [[Refuge in Audacity|ridiculous and contradictory insults]] in the hope that he'll be speechless long enough for her to run away from that rather embarrassing situation.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/18-and-blunder You'd think he'd have caught on sooner.]
* [[All Women Are Lustful]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/sadly-this-amounts-to-a-sex-life Who actually cares about the sexual content of a zombie film?]
* [[Alpha Bitch]]: Probably [http://notalwaysright.com/snobbery-just-wont-cut-it this woman.] Being beautiful does not allow you to ignore punctuality.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/why-we-cant-have-nice-things This lady here too] who feels that being beautiful gives you the right to steal coffee.
** In fact, almost any example where a customer calls an employee (or another customer) ugly can count.
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** Discounts mean ''[[Serious Business|a lot]]'' to [http://notalwaysright.com/history-deep-pans-out this woman].
** In the meantime, another parent ''[http://notalwaysright.com/grand-theft-innocence-part-3/18279 doesn't like bad language in a violent game]''.
* [[Artistic License: Biology]]: [[City Slicker|Some of these]] clearly either are Extraterrestrial or live in cartoons. [http://notalwaysright.com/nip-picking Seriously], [http://notalwaysright.com/what-what-its-a-butt where] on [http://notalwaysright.com/must-have-lymphed-their-way-through-biology Earth] [http://notalwaysright.com/is-that-a-tumor-in-your-pocket did] [http://notalwaysright.com/natural-selection-in-action-part-2 these] [http://notalwaysright.com/how-about-a-chia-pet-instead guys] [http://notalwaysright.com/they-grow-up-so-fast grow] [https://web.archive.org/web/20110828080611/http://notalwaysright.com/stuffed-animals-training-wheels-for-the-stupid up]?
** This is a [http://notalwaysright.com/digging-your-tree-out-of-a-hole MASSIVE] understatement...
** [http://notalwaysright.com/a-bit-grey-with-anatomy "Yeah, but even if he lost one leg, he’s still got two feet, right?"]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/bloody-stupid Chickens don't bleed!] But [http://notalwaysright.com/free-derange can read]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/udderly-ridiculous “No thanks, I’m trying to become a vegetarian and eggs come from cows.”]
** This would solve the [http://notalwaysright.com/53690-2 Chicken or Egg or WTF] problem, however.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/when-flippers-attack "That’s a dolphin, dear. It eats people.”] And maybe swims upriver to mate. [http://notalwaysright.com/they-swim-upriver-to-mate Like other whales].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/got-the-bird-but-no-bees-here Beware of ostrich basilisks hatching]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/suffering-from-a-reptile-dysfunction fire-breathing insectile bearded dragons].
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** Even if you hide extra appendages under your clothes you may still [http://notalwaysright.com/bilateral-symmetry-meets-botched-schooling fail] to uphold the [[Masquerade]].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/ripe-for-a-correction Cucumbers are pickles that aren't ripened yet].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/talking-turkey-about-the-chickens “Does your chicken and turkey come from the same animal?”]
* [[Artistic License Economics]]: Any entry titled "'''This Is Why We’re In A Recession [Part X]'''". As of July 4th, 2014, there are [http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-why-were-in-a-recession-part-31 30] installments, with a bonus one called "This Is Why We're In A Recession, Literally" - [http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-why-were-in-a-recession-literally which, true to title, states the exact reason for the recession]. And 2 "[http://notalwaysright.com/economic-recession-for-dummies-part-2 Economic Recession For Dummies]".▼
▲* [[Artistic License Economics]]: Any entry titled "'''This Is Why We’re In A Recession [Part X]'''".
* [[Artistic License Geography]]: ''Many'', but [http://notalwaysright.com/first-ocean-to-the-right-then-straight-on-til-drowning this one] is especially [[TV Tropes Drinking Game|egregious]]. What travel is better -- [http://notalwaysright.com/here-today-gone-to-maui-2 a train to Hawaii] or a boat [http://notalwaysright.com/i-have-a-sinking-feeling to Atlantis]?
** "Wait. [http://notalwaysright.com/watashi-whaaa You mean, Japan exists not only in anime?!]" And even [http://notalwaysright.com/not-in-ermurica Australia isn't on Middle East].
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* [[Bad Boss]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/we-need-one-of-these-in-every-store-part-2 No wonder his customers walked out on the guy.]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/the-joy-of-sexism-part-4 This] [[Sarcasm Mode|genius]] manager, who ended up firing his (female) worker for ''[[What an Idiot!|his]]'' mistake.
* [[Bad Liar]]: Some people try to cheat their way in, repeatedly, no matter how hopeless a situation is. [http://notalwaysright.com/no-reservations-bribing/]
* [[Badass Bystander]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/we-need-one-of-these-in-every-store "UFC Jacket Guy"], [http://notalwaysright.com/weekend-roundup-customers-to-the-rescue amongst others].
** Not that it's unpredictable, but [http://notalwaysright.com/been-to-hells-angels-and-back being a loud jerk] around bikers usually turns out to be a [http://notalwaysright.com/waiting-his-turn-took-a-turn-for-justice bad idea].
* [[Badass Grandma]]: What's an angry mother weak against? [http://notalwaysright.com/grannies-gotta-love-em Her own mother of course.]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-lol-in-little-old-lady Grannies sure like putting down abusive customers.]
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** Examples [http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart here], [http://notalwaysright.com/eternal-dnation-pleasant-atmosphere here], [http://notalwaysright.com/you-look-nothing-like-your-ad here], [http://notalwaysright.com/just-another-day-at-work here] and [http://notalwaysright.com/thou-shalt-pay-on-time here].
** Behold the power of [http://notalwaysright.com/the-devil-to-pay bobble head Jesus!]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/hell-in-a-handbag This one is] [[
** Then there are the more benign, but still insane, ones like [http://notalwaysright.com/never-fail-conversation-starters this person], who is like the exact polar opposite of a young-earth creationist or something.
** A [[The Fundamentalist|fundamentalist]] alum of a certain college tries her hardest to "justify" the stupidity. [http://notalwaysright.com/freedom-of-screech “You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you.”]
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* [[Blind Idiot Translation]]: There's a whole category for it - "[http://notalwaysright.com/category/lost-in-translation Lost In Translation]".
* [[Blind Mistake]]: An [http://notalwaysright.com/eyesight-only-as-good-as-hindsight/13821 innocent version], and [http://notalwaysright.com/eyesight-only-as-good-as-hindsight-part-2/14157 a destructive, ignorant version].
* [[Bluff the Impostor]]: How [https://web.archive.org/web/20110825080518/http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-scam-a-scammer-part-3 one scammer] gets caught.
* [[Book Dumb]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/warning-movie-may-require-brain-cells Because subtitles are too hard for the average customer.].
** A rather extreme case here. [http://notalwaysright.com/there-must-be-something-in-the-water What's dumbing down?].
* [[Book Safe]]: What [http://notalwaysright.com/all-the-worlds-a-book "I'm looking for a dictionary. No, it's not a dictionary, it's just a book. Well, it's not a book, it's a box. Not really, it’s kind of a box and you put things in it. Like a box. ...Yes, it's also a book."] customer apparently was looking for.
* [[
* [[Buffy-Speak]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20110831142726/http://notalwaysright.com/de-ting-de-ting DE TING, DE TING!!!]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/noahs-nondescript-ark The tall things, and the not so tall things.]
** Buffy Speak is apparently the first language of [http://notalwaysright.com/youve-got-a-bad-doodad/10930 this customer].
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* [[Bully Hunter]]: Many stories involve a third party (sometimes a fellow workmate, sometimes themselves a customer) who, upon encountering an unreasonable character trying to bully a server into getting what they want (or even [[For the Evulz|just to be a]] [[Jerkass]]), [[Awesome Moments|feel the need to intervene]].
* [[Burn the Witch]]: With people like [http://notalwaysright.com/for-my-next-trick this] ''today'', it's not a surprise this was so popular back in [[The Dung Ages]].
* [[But I Can't Be Pregnant]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/even-managers-have-a-stupid-quota Oh], [http://notalwaysright.com/denial-by-way-of-refund yes] [https://web.archive.org/web/20110827023734/http://notalwaysright.com/a-strong-case-for-reproductive-licensing you can].<ref>Though this one may just have meant she was not trying either way. And take "still having her period" as evidence she wasn't pregnant at the time</ref>
* [[But That I Would Believe]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20190818152657/https://notalwaysright.com/not-always-right-the-comic-big-lies-are-better-than-small-ones/ Sometimes] the only way to get rid of someone.
* [[Buxom Is Better]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/the-sisterhood-of-the-traveling-back-pain/17925 According to these customers], it is. In fact, they call the employee's breasts tiny, even though she has C-Cups, which are usually considered big.
* [[The Cake Is a Lie]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/deceptive-desserts Some people just don't get it.]
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* [[Canada, Eh?]]: If you thought pronouncing "about" as "aboot" was just a made-up stereotype, [http://notalwaysright.com/not-remotely-intelligent-part-5/10609 you'll never believe this one.]
* [[Cane Fu]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/brand-spankin-new-employee/12282 "I'll teach you to disrespect your elders!"]
* [[Can't You Read the Sign?]]: [https://notalwaysright.com/a-good-sign-for-the-future/148778/ …Mom?]
* [[Captain Obvious]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/no-really No, really?]
* [[Cassandra Truth]]: All too often, the customers ''will not accept'' the word of the employee at face value, as they believe the employee is always trying to cheat them. All too often, the customers end up worse off because of their own paranoia.
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/devil-in-disguise Sometimes, all it takes is a swap of necklaces.]
* [[Crazy Jealous Guy|Crazy Jealous Customer]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/jealousy-is-a-rude-green-eyed-monster/15361 "Sir, you can't just do that!" "I don't want anyone to come between us!"]
* [[Cloning Blues]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20110825081400/http://notalwaysright.com/copycatsand-copy-dogs-copy-sheep This woman] wanted an [[Opposite
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/bird-brained It's a bird, hello bird!]
** Also, [http://notalwaysright.com/they-dont-call-her-dumblesnore-for-nothing dumblesnore].
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/when-two-wrongs-make-it-right/8875 A thief calling the store that they shorted her a shoe].
** A lot of people don't understand how credit cards work.
* [[Completely Missing the Point]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20110415011323/http://notalwaysright.com/grab-bag-alaska-cruise Alaska Cruise Grab Bag], the last one. Also approximately 1000 others.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/please-please-listen-to-yourself-talk I didn't come to this library to read!]
* [[Computer Equals Monitor]]: According to [http://notalwaysright.com/so-stupid-its-iconic this guy].
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* [[Crazy Cat Lady]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/hiss-terical This one.] Either that, or a [[Cat Girl]] who never grew up.
* [[Crazy Prepared]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/there-is-no-spoon-2 If you don't have a spoon, what will you do if you find some ice cream?]
* [[Creepy Child]] /CreepyDoll: [http://notalwaysright.com/exorcisms-not-included-part-2/12513 “Well then, I guess you will have to ask her, or I will have to ask, or…] [[Creepy Monotone|…the doll’s soul will have to ask.”
* [[Credit Card Plot]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/americas-debt-crisis-explained A credit card is not a loan surprisingly enough.]
* [[Critical Research Failure]]: Most of the customers know little.
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* [[Didn't Think This Through]]: An underage customer tries to buy cigarettes...[http://notalwaysright.com/where-theres-smoke-theres-a-liar in a yogurt shop.] There are many, many more examples on the site.
* [[Digging Yourself Deeper]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/digging-your-way-out-of-a-hole-part-4 Here.]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/youre-my-number-one-problem Stepped right in it].
* [[Dinner Order Flub]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/now-in-original-extra-bandwidth-flavor "The serving of Wi-Fi, how big is the free portion?"]
* [[Dirty Old Man]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/please-put-your-brain-back-in-the-drivers-seat Well, at least he's honest about it.]
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** Proximity of mass media [http://notalwaysright.com/sure-thing-sweet-cheeks isn't conducive to removing one's mind out of that gutter].
* [[Double Standard]] / [[Does Not Like Women]]: A guy who nearly had a stroke when he was told all [http://notalwaysright.com/the-estrogen-empire-strikes-back the managers were female]; also see [http://notalwaysright.com/the-joy-of-sexism here], [http://notalwaysright.com/the-joy-of-sexism-part-2 here], [http://notalwaysright.com/stuck-in-reverse here], [http://notalwaysright.com/cross-platform-chromosomes here], [http://notalwaysright.com/only-in-la here], [http://notalwaysright.com/she-said-he-said here], [http://notalwaysright.com/like-comic-book-guy-except-much-prettier here], and [http://notalwaysright.com/with-thought-care-and-testosterone here].
* [[Do Wrong Right]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20131018100444/http://notalwaysright.com/momma-knows-best/19325 "Now, now, they're not dumb people.] They're suckers."
* [[Dude, Where's Our Car?]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/try-explaining-that-to-your-insurance-agent "That’s my car from last year. That’s right, that IS where I parked it!”]
* [[Dumbass Has a Point]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/avoid-a-soft-touch-with-bad-customers Why would anyone pay $1,500 for a massage chair when they can use it here for free?!]
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* [[Elvis Has Left the Planet]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/vivacious-las-vegas And gone to Vegas, apparently.]
* [[Engaging Conversation]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/helping-the-needy Here]; also counts as a [[Geeky Turn On]].
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110415010343/http://notalwaysright.com/how-about-some-dessert-instead "How About Some Dessert Instead".]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110826042404/http://notalwaysright.com/dreams-really-do-fall-through You don't even have to know them.]
* [[Enhance Button]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/forensics-for-dummies Customers seem to expect] [http://notalwaysright.com/must-be-one-of-them-transdimensional-cameras photo labs to have one of these.]
* [[Epic Fail]]: Some people go above and beyond mere eccentric or obnoxious behaviour to true failure:
** [http://notalwaysright.com/a-match-made-in-size-7 The woman] who tells her boyfriend he'll be [[Exiled to the Couch|sleeping on the couch]], but they don't actually live together. That's just the start of a downward spiral; it leads to {{spoiler|the boyfriend and the cashier getting engaged.}}
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110828080450/http://notalwaysright.com/an-expensive-temper-tantrum-part-2 Ignore advice] in the cellphone shop, try to get a large bill cancelled, get angry and end up with ''much larger'' bills.
* [[Even the Wombats Want Him|Even the Lemurs Want To Undress Her]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/demure-lemur The lady chose to be proud of it].
* [[Eskimos Aren't Real]]:▼
** [http://notalwaysright.com/not-one-of-historys-mysteries Native Americans]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/talking-like-crazy-horse again]. Blame [[Politically-Correct History|Susan Jeffers' book]]?▼
▲** [http://notalwaysright.com/watashi-whaaa Japan]
* [[Everything's Better with Dinosaurs]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/watch-out-for-the-pansysaurus Watch Out For The Pansysaurus!]
* [[Everything Is Racist]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/on-the-politically-proper-placement-of-puzzles Puzzles] are [[Serious Business]].
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* [[Fluffy Tamer]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/bad-owners-unleashed Deconstructed.]
* [[Free-Range Children]]: Exposed to the insidious dangers of anisotropic continuum. [http://notalwaysright.com/do-as-i-say-not-as-i-play 8 years old] walking without a guard from the cashier to arcade: [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?]] Same kid, walking there all alone in the first place: okay.
* [[Freudian Slip]]: These [https://web.archive.org/web/20110827131257/http://notalwaysright.com/of-all-the-moments-for-freud-to-slip two] [http://notalwaysright.com/the-birds-and-the-bees-talk-illustrated customers].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/animal-planet-after-hours That's not a textbook.]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/yes-its-for-my-longmower "It's For My Longmower"].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/night-of-the-loving-dead "I think I'm a necrophiliac."]
** [
** [http://notalwaysright.com/similar-tool-different-outcome “Is it just me or did it sound like she was asking for?.."]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/phones-have-needs-too The Naughtyphone].
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/age-is-but-a-number It's about grandma!]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/every-bird-and-bees-worst-nightmare How not to answer a question.]
* [[Fun with Acronyms]]: The "[http://notalwaysright.com/failed-the-geek-test Hobbit]". "[http://notalwaysright.com/not-smart-phone-part-14 Push When Ringing]"
* [[Furry Fandom]]: Kinda feel sorry for [http://notalwaysright.com/the-unfantastic-mr-fox this fellow].
* [[Gag Boobs]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/rudolph-the-boob-nosed-reinder I'm pretty sure the warranty on those implants doesn't cover this.]
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** Very disturbingly inverted with [http://notalwaysright.com/pray-the-gay-to-stay this] woman. “I want to make my son gay. I would love to have a gay child. I’m very open minded!” She intends to make her son gay by exposing him to pornography.
* [[Hipster]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/righteous-indie-nation Righteous Indie-nation]
* [[Hitler Ate Sugar]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/the-lesser-of-teen-evils Parodied.] Skittles are EVIL?
* [[Hive Mind]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/i-am-he-as-you-are-he-as-you-are-me-and-we-are-all-together Not this time].
* [[Hoist by His Own Petard]] / [[Laser-Guided Karma]]: A rare real-life example [http://notalwaysright.com/between-a-rock-and-a-hard-head here]. And it's hilarious to boot.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110828080450/http://notalwaysright.com/an-expensive-temper-tantrum-part-2 another] example.
* [[Human Aliens]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/the-commute-must-be-out-of-this-world Meet Qinjax], age 270. Or 45 [[Two of Your Earth Minutes|in Earth years]], where he's named Andrew. Hard to tell with [http://notalwaysright.com/youre-human-ridiculous this creature].
* [[Humanity Is Insane]]
* [[Humans Are
* [[Hurricane of Excuses]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/menage-a-fraud This.]
* [[Hypocrite]]: Black Christmas trees are evil and unnatural! [http://notalwaysright.com/pink-is-the-new-black I'll have a pink one].
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/listen-to-the-irony-of-the-situation "I mean, is your conversation SO important that you can’t pay attention to the person in front of you?"]
** "[http://notalwaysright.com/pot-calling-the-kettle-black-slowly Pot Calling The Kettle Black, Slowly]"
** [http://notalwaysright.com/skating-around-the-cheapness What a bunch of cheapskates].
* [[I Always Wanted to Say That]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/strange-ambitions "Why would anyone bother having different kinds of coffee?"]
* [[I Am Not Shazam]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/no-clue-at-the-zoo Someone does this with] ''[[Madagascar]]'', of all things.
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* [[It's All About Me]]: A spectacularly insensitive example [http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-seize-the-moment here.] People having heart attacks actually do deserve precedence over someone who just needs a prescription.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/dont-kick-up-a-fuss-if-your-heart-isnt-in-it And over people who just want to get off a plane].
** And these two [https://web.archive.org/web/20110827130832/http://notalwaysright.com/pinheaded-2 golf] [http://notalwaysright.com/always-right-even-when-shooting-down-a-helicopter course] examples. Yes, sir, your golf game is more important than someone else's ''life.''
** The inversion of [[Ambulance Chaser]] above is another horrifying example of this.
** A less grave, but no less applicable, edition [http://notalwaysright.com/fair-trade-waylaid here].
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* [[Know-Nothing Know-It-All]]: A lot of customers show up thinking they know best. All of these type of customers cannot be reasoned with. All of these type of customers are ''wrong''.
** "[http://notalwaysright.com/attack-of-the-cownivores stupid hicks are trying to cheat me! Cows are meat-eaters!]"... except that case when "[http://notalwaysright.com/has-beef-with-you the woman there sold us vegetarian cow]".
** Amazing amount of people dial tech support and then proceed to "know better". Most of the "[http://notalwaysright.com/53670-2 Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless]", for example.
* [[Large Ham]]: Some of the aforementioned [[Cloudcuckoolander|Cloud Cuckoolanders]].
* [[Laser-Guided Karma]]: This [http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-by-wives Guy] and this [http://notalwaysright.com/kookie-cookie-karma woman]... and [http://notalwaysright.com/grannies-gotta-love-em one] more.
** And [http://notalwaysright.com/from-zero-to-karma-in-1-second these] [http://notalwaysright.com/chlorine-wishes-and-door-knob-dreams drivers].
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110828080450/http://notalwaysright.com/an-expensive-temper-tantrum-part-2 A really expensive tantrum].
{{quote|"Karma’s a b**ch, ain’t it?"}}
** [http://notalwaysright.com/giving-customers-the-slip Never underestimate karma.]
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/try-adobe-heathenshop/19489 software can convert photographs], but it can't convert the people ''in'' the photographs...
** [http://notalwaysright.com/self-disservice/19680 "Employees must wash hands"]
* [["London, England" Syndrome]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/giving-the-french-stick "I would like a ticket to Paris, USA"]. (Perhaps an inversion of this trope, as the customer assumed this just happens because Americans are [[Viewers are Morons|stupid]], and ends up looking like a fool because of it.)
* [[LOLcats]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/kitteh-sez-stfu k thanks bye]
* [["Ma'am" Shock]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-bag-holder "Do I look old enough to be a ma'am?"]
* [[MacGyvering]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20110415011517/http://notalwaysright.com/lt-ripley-vs-the-wasp-queen No wasp spray?] I'll just "DIY" a flamethrower.
* [[Machine Worship]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/all-hail-lord-konica All hail Lord Konica!]
* [[Major Injury Underreaction]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/it-almost-never-hurts-to-check I guess this knife is sharp enough.]
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* [[Mathematician's Answer]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/please-press-any-brain-cell-to-continue "Can I have your zip code, please?"]
** Sadly subverted [http://notalwaysright.com/enigmatic-espresso here]. Assuming the false dilemma where none exists is not going to get you your... um, whatever you're ordering.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110415005602/http://notalwaysright.com/at-least-this-customer-is-honest Two for one.] [http://notalwaysright.com/gluttony-or-gluttony And God only knows what's going on here...]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/parts-laboring-the-obvious And this one.]
* [[Meddling Parents]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/not-all-re-cycling-is-good No, I generate enough of "crazy" on my own]. Also, [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?]].
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* [[Mood Whiplash]]: Among the hilarious mishaps of service workers, the sad ones really stand out. Case in point: [http://notalwaysright.com/would-you-like-a-foot-to-go-with-your-mouth Would You Like A Foot To Go With Your Mouth].
* [[Mood Swinger]]: Thanks for helping me... I'll kill you! [http://notalwaysright.com/when-mood-swings-attack-part-2 Here] and [http://notalwaysright.com/when-mood-swings-attack here].
* [[Moon Logic Puzzle]]: A lot of customers talk in what amounts to their personal language and/or insist that a clerk have to immediately guess what their [http://notalwaysright.com/telepathic-help-wanted requests] are supposed to mean, even if phrasing is absurdly broad.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/speaking-stupidese Some at least come with translator].
* [[Motor Mouth]]: Sometimes the best way to handle them is to [http://notalwaysright.com/all-hail-wikipedia give them a taste of their own medicine]. (With a little help from [[The Other Wiki]], of course.)
* [[Mummies At the Dinner Table]]: Appears to be what [http://notalwaysright.com/some-guys-are-made-of-the-right-stuff this woman] is up to.
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** In a milder example of this kind of trope, there's also a few examples of what we can call [[Mugging the Monster|Mugging The Human Resources Manager]], wherein an applicant for a job barges into the place and starts rudely throwing their weight around, only to discover that the staff member they've been treating poorly is actually someone they should have probably been a bit more polite towards if they want to stand a chance of getting the job. Such as [http://notalwaysright.com/application-confrontation this person]. In an oblique version of this, [http://notalwaysright.com/application-confrontation-part-2 Mugging the Target Audience].
** Alternately, threatening that you're going to complain to the manager when that's who you're talking to.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110827142519/http://notalwaysright.com/navy-seals-fate-is-sealed This] naval lieutenant decides to throw his weight around in a civilian restaurant and makes the mistake of antagonizing another diner... who happens to be a Rear Admiral stationed at the same base.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/hard-drugs-and-harder-pharmacists Perhaps the straightest example yet.]
* [[My Beloved Smother]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/you-and-me-could-write-a-bipartisan-romance Really? REALLY?] Trying to stop your 28-year-old daughter from going on a date?
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* [[Perspective Flip]]: Of a sort; [http://notalwaysright.com/precarious-insurance-part-3 this] one is a customer submitting their own ditz moment.
* [[Pizza Boy Special Delivery]]: Occasionally attempted. Even [http://notalwaysright.com/they-have-incompatible-operating-systems with amateur strip tease]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/second-life-same-bigotry what seems to be a case] (if not for failed expectaitions)... in ''[[Second Life]]''.
* [[Poe's Law]] / [[Stealth Parody]] / : On the meta-level - exactly how many of the stories are genuine and how many are actually pure bullshit made up by trolls or somebody with an axe to grind? And in the former case, it can be very difficult to tell whether some of these people are genuinely that crazy or just real-life [[
* [[Political Correctness Gone Mad]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/fowl-mouthed-accusations "Peacock"] is a dirty word and you should be ashamed! I prefer you use the term "pearooster".
** Also, [http://notalwaysright.com/fighting-ignorance-with-ignorance we don’t say "Indian"]. And [https://web.archive.org/web/20110828065008/http://notalwaysright.com/darkest-africa a map of Africa] is disturbing.
** Inverted in another story. The store tries to be a little politically correct, selling "holiday trees", but apparently the customer wants a Christmas tree, and so will go to a store that "[http://notalwaysright.com/please-call-customer-dis-service isn't afraid of offending people!]"
** Another customer takes racial colors [http://notalwaysright.com/a-dark-day-for-political-correctness a bit too seriously].
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/wesley-called-he-wants-his-tan-back Look, I just want to be as dark as that guy so I can learn how to rap.]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/little-red-riding-in-the-hood Pretty fly for a little white girl.]
** Inverted [http://notalwaysright.com/not-always-right-on-so-many-levels here]
* [[Psychopathic Manchild]]: A sizeable proportion of the customers.
* [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!]]: Parody of the former [[Trope Namer]] [http://notalwaysright.com/paging-leonidas-to-the-front-desk here] and [http://notalwaysright.com/no-one-ever-said-it-would-be-boring here]; these also fit the normal definition of the trope. The title of [https://web.archive.org/web/20110415012226/http://notalwaysright.com/thisisspyware this one], also a reference to ''[[300]]'', fits as well.
** And a more straightforward one: [http://notalwaysright.com/stir-yes-sir "Medium! Coffee! Two! Equal!"]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/for-the-love-of-god-get-gps-part-2 I'm! In! Canada!]
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* [[Reflexive Response]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/how-you-know-youve-been-working-too-long This one].
* [[Refuge in Audacity]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/perhaps-a-little-bit-too-free A shining example.]
▲** [http://notalwaysright.com/not-one-of-historys-mysteries Native Americans]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/talking-like-crazy-horse again]. Blame [[Politically-Correct History|Susan Jeffers' book]]?
** [http://notalwaysright.com/watashi-whaaa Japan]
* [[Rich in Dollars, Poor In Sense]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/she-probably-needs-someone-to-put-her-clothes-on-too "What is this, some sort of self service store?"]
** Several of the stories on here are about extremely stubborn customers who will pay the price posted and '''''only''''' the price posted, no matter what sales or discounts are in effect despite not being advertised. It's like they're hardwired to believe that no matter what the store workers do, they're trying to rip them off.
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* [[Rule of Three]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/pages-of-a-post-apocalyptic-persuasion This customer] all but invokes it.
* [[Running Gag]]: Several entry titles come up over and over and over again, such as "This Is Why We're In A Recession, Part x" and "[[Twilight (novel)|Twilight]] Of Our Literature, Part Xx.
** If the words «I work at the largest theme park in Canada» don't incite nervous laughter from you yet, and you want to read something [[So Bad It's Good]], type "theme park Canada" in the NA* search box and <s>weep</s> have fun. It became an in-joke among the fans.
{{quote|'''Stephen''': Suggested new category: NAWATLTPIC
'''Stephen''': Aka Not Always Interesting}}
* [[Sarcasm Failure]]: Describing the obviously-impossible task the customer has just requested in graphic detail ''might'' make it obvious that it can't be done. But it seems to just as often meet with a reply of "Yes, yes, can you do that?"
* [[Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!]]: Invoked [http://notalwaysright.com/have-age-will-complain here].
** [[Skinship Grope|And]] [[Dirty Old Man|also]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20110828073657/http://notalwaysright.com/aarp-membership-comes-with-a-few-hidden-perks here.]
* [[Screw the Rules, I Have Connections]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/not-quite-a-family-business Uh], [http://notalwaysright.com/thats-a-latte-coupons no], [http://notalwaysright.com/of-all-the-lies-to-tell you] [http://notalwaysright.com/lesson-1-how-to-scam-a-scammer really] [http://notalwaysright.com/now-hiring-paramarketers don't].
* [[Screw the Rules, I Have Money]]: See it [http://notalwaysright.com/becoming-familiar-with-fiber here].
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{{quote|'''Customer''': What manner o' thing is your peanut butter cookie?
'''Shop Clerk''': 'Tis a cookie, sir, with peanut butter in it. }}
** The famous [http://notalwaysright.com/grandson-grandstanding grandson of his grandparents] has called us. Rejoice.
** Classic "[https://notalwaysright.com/warning-nuts-contain-nuts/ Warning: Nuts Contain Nuts]".
** [https://notalwaysright.com/egg-whites-made-from-real-eggs/ It’s amazing! Egg Whites literally taste like real eggs!]
* [[Shell-Shocked Veteran]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/this-was-before-he-started-lobbing-cantaloupes Here.]
* [[Shmuck Bait]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/putting-your-foot-in-it "Don't look at my feet."]
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* [[Somewhere This Index Is Crying|Somewhere An English Teacher Is Crying]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/the-tenth-circle-is-stupidity "What the heck is a poem?!"]
* [[Spell My Name with an "S"]]: A man called [http://notalwaysright.com/why-hello-pheven Pheven] or maybe Stesen.
* [[Spoiled Brat]]: Far too many of them, of all ages. Like [http://notalwaysright.com/theyre-cold-icee these].
* [[Stay in the Kitchen]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/the-land-of-milk-and-money A few] [http://notalwaysright.com/the-estrogen-empire-strikes-back examples.]
** Everyone in the office is female? [http://notalwaysright.com/revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-by-wives This place is doomed!]
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** This is apparently [http://notalwaysright.com/hung-up-on-gender/19156 this customer's] train of thought, spending ''eight hours'' hanging up just because the person responding was female.
* [[The Stoner]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/as-opposed-to-the-ones-that-you-can-like-smoke This customer] is either this or a [[Valley Girl]].
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20110831141949/http://notalwaysright.com/dude-that-must-be-some-strong-weed-part-2 “Ah, no man, I need my money to get my weed.”]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/weeding-out-the-dumb-ones-2 I see kayaks in the kayak room!]
* [[Invisible to Gaydar]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/stereo-griping This guy] seriously regrets coming out to a female friend who doesn't seem to understand this trope.
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* [[They Just Don't Get It]]: Far too common.
* [[Think of the Children]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/curiosity-kilt-the-peeping-tomcat This woman's] excuse for banning kilts.
** [https://notalwaysright.com/feel-for-her-poor-coddled-children/ Gasp! These penguins are not vegans!]
* [[This Is Gonna Suck]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/indentured-shoe-vitude Shoes. Crap.]
* [[Time Travel]]: Enough that there's [http://notalwaysright.com/weekend-roundup-time-travel Top-rated collection] of these stories.
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*** [http://notalwaysright.com/one-nation-under-god-period This] poor, geographically deluded soul.
*** [http://notalwaysright.com/its-all-dutch-to-me This] guy, on the other hand, manages to make the distinction between Canada and the US. But not between Canada and the Netherlands.
*** "[http://notalwaysright.com/french-disconnection Why do people want to speak French anyway? It is a dead language like Latin or Greek. We are in America and America is for American speakers!]"
** [http://notalwaysright.com/when-in-rome-or-spain/15804 This guy] certainly thinks so. When a tourist complains that all the road signs are in Spanish instead of English, the customer service person replies, "We are in Spain, sir. Spanish is our official language.”
* [[The Web Always Existed]]: Her Majesty's Series-Of-Tubes Service? [http://notalwaysright.com/some-calls-really-push-the-envelope Send my serenade with the next cab, please.]
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/from-runaway-bride-to-ex-wife/1070 "Sir, you put your mistress on your account?"]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/with-great-money-comes-fiscal-responsibility/15697 What did she think would happen when she gave her son $200?]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20131110010437/http://notalwaysright.com/redress-address-for-mistress-distress/19360 This woman and her boyfriend] are so stupid, it goes beyond description.
* [[What Beautiful Eyes!]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/fruity-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder This isn't always a good thing.]
* [[What Could Possibly Go Wrong?]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/questionable-questions Oh, nothing.] Asking about evacuation procedures is perfectly normal.
** Forget not ending well, Did [https://web.archive.org/web/20110415011517/http://notalwaysright.com/lt-ripley-vs-the-wasp-queen this guy] survive?
* [[What Do You Mean It's for Kids?]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/under-the-n-sea-17 What we have here] is quite possibly the only known ''[[Inverted Trope|inversion]]'' of [[All Animation Is Disney]].
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not for Kids?]]:
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** Inverted [http://notalwaysright.com/wake-up-and-sell-the-coffee-part-2/12624 here.] The cashier suffers a severe allergic reaction and passes out. The customer thinks he's just faking it.
* [[Do You Want to Haggle?]]: The joke about [[Cloudcuckoolander]] haggling in the wrong direction is not entiraly baseless, as you can see [http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-you-bargained-for-part-3 here]. [http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-he-bargained-for Or here]. [http://notalwaysright.com/less-is-more-more-or-less Don't let them to fool you, fool yourself first].
* [[X Marks the Spot]]: And [http://notalwaysright.com/x-marks-the-stupid for some people] even this is too complex.
* [[Yaoi Fangirl]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/pray-the-gay-to-stay/14285 This woman, in a seriously creepy way]. She actually wanted to show a toddler ''gay porn''. The actual gay person she told that to was not amused.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/they-have-incompatible-operating-systems This one], with an extra side of [[Everyone
* [[You Fail Mathematics Forever]]: "[http://notalwaysright.com/nonplussed-customers Nonplussed Customers]" And [http://notalwaysright.com/one-point-stupid 1.5 - not one and half!]
* [[You Fail Physics Forever]]: Can you [http://notalwaysright.com/must-be-one-of-them-transdimensional-cameras turn the photo around] so I can see [http://notalwaysright.com/magic-ink that guy's face?]
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* [[Zombie Apocalypse]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/five-days-later/2904 It's upon us, according to this guy].
* [[Affectionate Nickname]]: Several, although "[https://web.archive.org/web/20131026131946/http://notalwaysromantic.com/pet-names-unleashed/18698 My dumb pig]" is probably the strangest.
* [[
* [[Epic Fail]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130923080442/http://notalwaysromantic.com/alls-well-that-girlfriends-well/18412 This man] tries to hook up with a stranger, only to find that she's a lesbian. And his pick-up lines are terrible. And he's trying to cheat on his girlfriend. Who is nearby. {{spoiler|And she later dumps him and dates the other girl.}}▼
* [[Exact Words]]: [[https://notalwaysright.com/well-the-first-step-is-admitting-it/259221/ A boyfriend admit he ate a whole gallon of ice-cream in one sitting]]. When the writer lightheartedly commented he had an ice-cream problem, he responded, "You have an ice cream problem. I am the ice cream problem!"
▲* [[Epic Fail]]: [http://notalwaysromantic.com/alls-well-that-girlfriends-well/18412 This man] tries to hook up with a stranger, only to find that she's a lesbian. And his pick-up lines are terrible. And he's trying to cheat on his girlfriend. Who is nearby. {{spoiler|And she later dumps him and dates the other girl.}}
* [[Exiled to the Couch]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130417055500/http://notalwaysromantic.com/bosomless-buddies/18799 These two dopes], who are probably lucky they weren't thrown out of their apartment.
* [[The Grunting Orgasm]]: "[http://notalwaysromantic.com/the-birds-and-the-bears/18751 Daddy sounds like a bear when he's sleeping!]"
* [[Hypnotize the Princess]]: Implied [https://web.archive.org/web/20130923032538/http://notalwaysromantic.com/working-smarter-not-harder/2054 here]. What else would require books on seduction and hypnotism?
* [[Incorruptible Pure Pureness]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029014402/http://notalwaysromantic.com/old-fashioned-not-quite-as-old-as-you-think/18692 This story] is probably as close as most of us will ever get.
* [[Meet Cute]]: Too many examples to list.
* [[Meganekko]]: Apparently, [https://web.archive.org/web/20130417111152/http://notalwaysromantic.com/how-to-start-a-relationship-make-contact/19215 this girl].
* [[Mistaken for Gay]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20140417191256/http://notalwaysromantic.com/fathers-just-have-to-be-told-straight/19463 This girl] was rather surprised by it.
* [[Mistaken for Prank Call]]: This [https://web.archive.org/web/20130927034933/http://notalwaysromantic.com/guilty-of-perpetrating-a-prank/18773 not-so-savvy officer].
* [[Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace]]: A ''horse'' of all guests does this [https://notalwaysright.com/you-say-i-do-i-say-neigh/242129/ when their rider gets married]. Horse was a "Mama's Boy" according to the writer, and the bride rode him to the ceremony. He was not happy when she went out of his sight; the priest then reached this part of the ceremony. Cue a very loud whinny that echoed through the air. Everyone burst out laughing, including the priest, and the groom joked, "I ''told'' you he didn't like me!" Once the guests and wedding parties calmed down, the priest then amended that if anyone besides the horse had any lawful arguments, they should speak up now. No one did, and the wedding went on as planned. Horse also learned to accept his new stepdad, "grudgingly" as the writer put it.
* [[That Came Out Wrong]]/[[Compliment Backfire]]: A number of comments made to one's partner that didn't sound half as positive or romantic the speaker imagined, such as [https://web.archive.org/web/20140710052535/http://notalwaysromantic.com/love-is-blind/20098 this one]: "But, I don’t want to have my glasses on when I look at you."
* [[
* [[Wacky Marriage Proposal]]:
* [[Your Cheating Heart]]: An entire tag for it. [http://notalwaysromantic.com/busted-pipes/2368 Several] [http://notalwaysromantic.com/from-runaway-bride-to-ex-wife/1070 examples], often cross-posted from [[(The Customer is) Not Always Right]], of it being revealed by customer screwups.▼
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20130928101115/http://notalwaysromantic.com/how-to-wipe-out-a-relationship/18704 This], among others.
** A very sweet one in [https://notalwaysright.com/cos-proposal/40992/ Cos-Proposal]]. OP is a ''Labyrinth'' Jareth fan, and squees on seeing a cosplayer of him at Otakon while attending with her boyfriend. Said boyfriend took the time to get down on one knee, quote the proposal from the movie, and revela he had brought a ring. She said yes and gave him a tight hug. The Jareth cosplayer admitted, "Well-played."
▲* [[Your Cheating Heart]]: An entire tag for it. [https://web.archive.org/web/20131030154124/http://notalwaysromantic.com/busted-pipes/2368 Several] [https://web.archive.org/web/20131125102722/http://notalwaysromantic.com/from-runaway-bride-to-ex-wife/1070 examples], often cross-posted from
* [[Abusive Parents]]: Occasionally. [https://web.archive.org/web/20130903052402/http://notalwaysrelated.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/19268 This mother] is going to be the reason her daughter makes some therapist very wealthy someday.▼
▲* [[Abusive Parents]]: Occasionally. [http://notalwaysrelated.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/19268 This mother] is going to be the reason her daughter makes some therapist very wealthy someday.
* [[Amazingly Embarrassing Parents]]: And siblings, and grandparents, and cousins, and...
* [[Cool Old Guy]]/[[Cool Old Lady]]: Some of the grandparents.
* [[Evil Laugh]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130217145043/http://notalwaysrelated.com/which-one-is-pinky-and-which-one-is-brain/20074 These two girls.]
* [[I Call Him "Mister Happy"]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20140710021735/http://notalwaysrelated.com/needs-imp-plants/21098 This argument].
* [[I Got a Rock]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130906112850/http://notalwaysrelated.com/christmas-is-off-to-a-rocky-start/19493 This poor kid.]
* [[Logic Bomb]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723172800/http://notalwaysrelated.com/cold-concentrated-logic/19829 This person] attempts this with [[Ambiguous Gender|his/her]] brother
* [[Malaproper]]: [http://notalwaysrelated.com/a-saucy-mistake/19546 This girl], for instance.
* [[The Matchmaker]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130902190036/http://notalwaysrelated.com/stupid-cupid/19528 This grandfather] is determined to marry off his granddaughters.
* [[Must Have Nicotine]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20131229021002/http://notalwaysrelated.com/of-breath-smoke-and-breast-strokes/19223 This mother].
* [[Oh Crap]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130806201808/http://notalwaysrelated.com/ah-fathers-part-3/19231 This teen here]
* [[Relative Error]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130902222925/http://notalwaysrelated.com/blood-is-thicker-than-honesty/19531 This story] is more like the trope turned inside out.
* [[Squee]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130807123231/http://notalwaysrelated.com/underworld-overheard/19525 This] ''[[Underworld (film)|Underworld]]'' fangirl.
* [[Take a Third Option]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130214070601/http://notalwaysrelated.com/to-have-and-to-hold-a-cup-of-coffee/19641 What this father wants to do].
* [[Tempting Fate]]: In "[https://notalwaysright.com/fancy-butchers-chicken-by-the-case-the-meaning-of-expensive-taste/235655/ Fancy Butcher’s Chicken By The Case, The Meaning Of Expensive Taste]," the family cat is allowed in the kitchen during Christmas because he has never leaped on the table to steal bites of the holiday chicken. He gets his own plate afterward. One year, the family got expensive butcher's chicken. The OP had said their cat had become arthritic and didn't like leaping. They assumed that since he was old and a creature of habit, that it would be safe leaving the chicken for a few minutes. Nope; for the first time ever, the cat had leaped onto the table and was chomping away. He had to be pulled away and put up a fight. "And ever since that chicken, our cat has turned his nose up to the supermarket chicken."
* [[Up, Up, and Away]]: What [https://web.archive.org/web/20140723172724/http://notalwaysrelated.com/moms-always-intercede-for-their-super-seed/19366 this father] thinks his baby should be able to do.
== Not Always Learning ==
* [[Badass Teacher]]: [https://notalwaysright.com/this-is-one-substitute-whos-really-on-the-ball/248921/ While the writer said she didn't think she was tough or that coordinated], she earned this reputation by catching a ball from the group of disruptive kids, while walking outside and with only a second's warning before it would have smacked her in the face. They were impressed, and she proceeded to reveal she was left-handed and caught the ball with her ''right'' hand. As a result, she was the only teacher who could get them to listen.
* [[Incredibly Lame Pun]]: “[https://notalwaysright.com/joke-fell-b-flat/100977/ Seriously, Professor?]”
* [[Valley Girl]]: [https://notalwaysright.com/where-there-is-life-there-is-stupidity/100967/ It's alive?]
== Not Always Hopeless==
<big>Note: this is now under the "Inspirational" tag</big>
* [[Ambiguous Syntax]]: [https://notalwaysright.com/consent-is-so-important/203804/ "Consent Is So Important"]: Two parents told a little girl she had to ask permission from a dog owner to pet his husky. Only they said she had to ask for permission. She asked solemnly the dog, "Can I pet you?" The parents groaned and explained it better, while said owner had to lean against a lamp post due to laughing so hard.
* [[Crazy Enough to Work]]: "[https://notalwaysright.com/whistle-while-you-work-it-out/250631/ Whistle While You Work It Out]" had a customer service rep attempt to work with a customer's five-year-old grandson, who was more tech savvy than he was, to help his grandfather set up online mortgage bill pay. Though said child could not read, he could spell, and he was able to follow instructions literally to the letter.
* [[Heroic Bystander]]: Quite a few stories have this.
** [https://notalwaysright.com/the-patient-isnt-the-only-one-with-patience/19666/ The Patient Isn’t The Only One With Patience]. When a hospital patient asked for help, because her sister was leaving a verbal suicide note on the phone, the nursing team mobilized to notify 911 and gave advice to help stall and get relevant information until emergency services arrived in the other city where her sister lived. They got her help in time.
** [https://notalwaysright.com/youd-be-demented-not-to-help/19665/ You'd Be Demented Not to Help]: A cashier became concerned when an old lady said she was running away from home, from her "mother". She took action, using her workbreak to give the woman a bottle of water, and coaxed her daughter's phone number out of her. After a few phone calls she made sure the woman, suffering a bout of dementia, arrived safely to her assisted living facility in a cab.
** In one, a creepy guy was stalking the OP while she was waiting for her train. She asked if she could sit with another guy her age, and they could pretend to be friends. He played along until the creepy guy went away and her train arrived.
* [[Interrupted Suicide]]: At least one story has a guy that convinced another person to not jump off a bridge, and another who stayed with a depressed person while on door-to-door rounds.
** [https://notalwaysright.com/the-patient-isnt-the-only-one-with-patience/19666/ The Patient Isn’t The Only One With Patience]. This patient's nurses mobilized when her sister called and was planning to commit suicide.
* [[Karmic Jackpot]]: A photographer stayed after hours to do a photoshoot of a terminally ill girl, even though her mother didn't have an appointment, because his waiting list was so long he was worried she wouldn't live long enough. He refused payment, because it was the right thing to do. She and her mother came back months later, revealing she had recovered, and the mother tried paying him again. Again, he refused, and she insisted on taking him out to dinner to thank him. They got married, and the photo of his stepdaughter on a unicorn is still in their living room, though now she groans at it with embarrassment every time he good-naturedly points it out to her friends.
* [[Sincerity Mode]]: In "[https://notalwaysright.com/a-heady-proposition-2/68749/ A Heady Proposition]", a customer is panicking over the fact that his photo for a dating site was improperly cropped. Since the customer had his digital camera, the clerk told him to stand near a backdrop and took a photo of him. The customer's mood changed and offered to make him best man at his wedding. The clerk said that wasn't necessary, a card would do. Nine months later, the customer's wife came and dropped off a wedding card to the clerk as thanks.
* [[Supreme Chef]]:
** [https://notalwaysright.com/there-is-a-pot-of-feel-gold-at-the-end-of-this-rainbow/199055/ At a pizza place, a mother whose daughter was in the hospital said that her kid wanted rainbow pizza as a birthday meal]. She said she understood if they couldn't do it, but the chefs became excited at the challenge. The end result -- with peppers, purple cauliflower, and so forth-- apparently came out so well that they added it to the menu.
** [https://notalwaysright.com/grandmas-cake-cures-all/19700/ Grandma's Cake Cures All] has the OP adding their grandmother's apple cake to a bakery menu. One customer buys it and says happily that it tastes exactly like the cake that ''his'' grandmother used to make; she passed away a few years ago, but eating the cake brought back happy memories of her. He became a regular, buying a piece every week after the OP received permission to pass on the recipe to him]].
== Not Always Working ==
* [[Cruel to Be Kind]]: In [https://notalwaysright.com/scared-straight/252634/ "Scared Straight"], the OP does this after a neighbor's son, whom he recommends for a position, gets him pulled into a discipline meeting. Management mistook him for being the son's father, and said he was untrainable. OP corrected them and recommended they fire the neighbor's son because he got him this job as a favor and in response the kid had been bratty. Management agreed to give him a second chance. The son shaped up, became nicer and a hard worker, and started saving for his own car.
* [[Scare'Em Straight]]: The title "[https://notalwaysright.com/scared-straight/252634/ Scared Straight]" has this where the OP delivered this to his neighbor's son. He recommended the son for the job position, so he would have motivation to earn more in life. Said son would show up late to work, complain regularly, and not do his job. To add insult to injury, OP was driving him to and from work as a favor. When management pulled them in for a meeting after three months, the OP clarified that the employee was not ''his'' son and they recommended that the managers fire him. Management was so shocked they agreed to give the son a second chance. The son was so shocked he'd have to pay consequences that he agreed to shape up, and honored that promise.
* [[Summon Bigger Fish]]: [https://notalwaysright.com/someones-in-very-hot-water/253085/ "Someone's in Very Hot Water"] A manager on a power trip made a teenage employee attendant work outside moving carts during a heatwave. While the employee was following these orders, they were written up for taking a break after two hours of moving carts. A gentleman noticed two hours later, ordered them to go back inside with water, and became livid when finding out the manager fired them. Turns out he was the regional director, and happened to catch the manager in the act of yelling at the teenage employee for coming back and trying to not die of heatstroke. “YOU GOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME, [MANAGER]?!” he bellowed at her, before screaming at her further, and ordering the teen to take a break ''now'' for thirty minutes and work in the frozen food section for the rest of their shift. The manager was suspended and later fired post-suspension since it was revealed she was working teen employees beyond Florida's mandatory limits.
== Not Always Legal ==
* [[They Just Don't Get It]]: In "[https://notalwaysright.com/sometimes-you-just-have-to-bear-with-them/114624/ Sometimes You Just Have To Bear With Them]", the OP dialed 911 for Animal Control after a bear broke into her basement, because per the state regulations you can only get Animal Control from emergency services. The operator kept asking questions about the "intruder" and asking for a description of a human, as OP tried to emphasize that it was a bear. When the police came, the operator hadn't conveyed that it was an Animal Control problem; OP showed them and one freaked out saying, "Oh, you meant a ''bear'' bear?" OP responded with frustration, "What kind of bear did you think I meant? [[The Bear|A big, hairy, gay guy?!]]"
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