2 Broke Girls/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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  • Max telling Caroline about Han Li, the restaurant owner:

"Clientele used to be all Eastern block criminals and crack whores, but then he took it over and ruined it."

  • Max's shock when she sneaks into Caroline's old town house.

"Your shoes have their own house!"

  • Max asking Caroline if she dated the white or the really, really white one

"The really, really white one."

  • After Caroline sucessfully sells 4 of Earl's CDs at the diner.

Max: "Is any of that true?"
Earl: "Nope. She even made up my damn last name."

  • This:

Caroline: "Really? Now? Really? While I'm helping you?"
Max: "You're right. We'll trash you later."

  • This moment from "And The Pretty Problem:"

Max: Look, I don't want to wake you up, so why don't you sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on your vagina.

Caroline: Just make sure you buy me breakfast afterwards.

  • Max's riposte after the hippie cafe owner says no to her cupcakes for not being pretty enough.
  • In "And The Hoarder Culture":

Caroline: See? That's one box of Butterfinger wrappers gone.
Douglas: WHAT?!
Caroline: It's a metaphor, Douglas!

  • From "And The Very Christmas Thanksgiving" when Han announces that he's decorating the diner for Thanksgiving:

Max: I'm surprised that you got the right holiday decorations. You put out Easter bunnies for Yom Kippur.
Han: So many Jewish holidays I don't have time to Wikipedia all of them. What, like I don't have a life?"

  • Also, this:

Caroline: Oh God, you aren't gonna be one of those "I'm too cool for the wonders of Christmas" type of bitches, are you?
Max: I'm so many types of bitches I've lost count.

  • Every line uttered during Han's staff meeting in "And The Pop-Up Sale"
  • Max is a Deadpan Snarker so she's a great source of these, especially in "And The Secret Ingredient Is". Caroline has some great lines too, like "If men had periods tampons would be thrown like beads at a Mardi Gras parade."
  • This exchange from "And The Upstairs Neighbor", after one of Oleg's suggestive comments goes too far for Caroline:

Caroline: We have got to have a sexual harassment seminar.
Max: What for? He's already so good at it.

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