A Date with Rosie Palms: Difference between revisions

''When I think about you''

''I touch myself''

 

{{quote|"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love!"

* Apparently Jewish men aren't supposed to masturbate. That was ''[[Portnoy's Complaint|Portnoys Complaint]]''.

* In ''Anatomy Of A Boyfriend,'' the main character is unable to experience "the big O" with her high school sweetheart. So after they break up, her friend buys her a personal massager. It's not for her back.

 

=== Live-Action TV ===

* In ''[[Black Books]]'', Fran's subplot in the episode "The Big Lockout" basically involves her having a wank while listening to the shipping forecast because she finds the voice of the guy who's delivering it irresistibly arousing.

* In the US version of ''[[Queer as Folk]]'', Ted has watched so many porno tapes that when a customer asks the cashier of the porno shop for a suggestion in which tape to rent, the cashier directs the customer to Ted.

 

=== Web Original ===

* The [[Web Original]] Spanish [[Superhero]] spoof ''Calico Electronico'' has a [[Running Gag]] about every time [[Ms. Fanservice]] character "La Ladrona" appears, the title character goes to the bathroom, where some... particular sounds... are covered by Calico singing (badly) opening themes of several old cartoons, the one from the Spanish dub of ''[[Captain Tsubasa]]'' being the most favored.

* In [[Look a Vlog]], Will is dragged out of the bathroom by Emily. When she asks what he was doing, he says, "Masturbating." Then goes back in.

 

=== Western Animation ===

* In the beginning of ''[[Midori Days]]'', Seiji bemoans this being his fate, as his [[Badass]] Delinquent status actually seems to make it ''harder'' to get a girlfriend. He specifically says being stuck "with his right hand for a girlfriend", then it happens literally. Ironically, having Midori on his hand effectively ''prevents'' him from masturbating, as she throws out all his porn. A few chapters are dedicating to Seiji attempting to relieve the built-up pressure, but [[Failure Is the Only Option]].

* [[Ax Crazy]] Sako of ''[[Upotte!!]]'' gets ''far'' too turned on by the heat of battle in episode 5 and fondles her magic spot out of pleasure behind a tree. Moments later, she masturbates, with the stuff visibly dripping off her hand- er, if anthromorphized assault rifles actually can do that sort of thing.

 

=== Comic Books ===

* Mentioned several times in the comic series ''[[Y: The Last Man]]'' seeing as virtually the entire male population has died. One women casually mentions the difficulty of finding replacement AA batteries for vibrators, and titular last man Yorick tells of one extensive 'session' where the government installed open-air showers outside a hotel he was staying in.

 

=== Film ===

* In ''[[A Serbian Film]]'', the main character's brother talks to the main character's wife about being single, and then takes a trip to the little boy's room to (predictably) masturbate. It doesn't help that at another part in the movie, a porn director talks about how the main reason porn is popular is so people can "cum into a napkin what they couldn't into a woman."

* In one scene in ''[[A Clockwork Orange (film)|A Clockwork Orange]]'', [[Villain Protagonist]] Alex masturbates in his room after a night of "ultra-violence" while listening to [[Soundtrack Dissonance|Beethoven's Ninth Symphony]], staring at his sacrilegious decor, and fantasizing about violent and satanic images.

 

=== Literature ===

* In ''[[A Confederacy of Dunces]]'', the overweight, unemployed, [[Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist]] Ignatius Reilly masturbates in one scene while [[Squick|fondly remembering his dead dog. Ew]]. Later on, his stained bedsheets make an appearance {{spoiler|as a protest banner, which, not surprisingly, no one wants to touch}}.

* The book ''Fools Die'' mentions the ex-wife of one of the characters is advised by her psychiatrist to set aside some alone time each day to use a vibrator. Everyone in the house, including the children, refer to it as the "Happy Hour".

 

=== Live-Action TV ===

* "Touch of my Hand" by [[Britney Spears]] is about appreciating self-love in the absence of one's partner.

* "Oops (Oh My)" by Tweet; she admires herself in the mirror while touching herself

 

=== Video Games ===

* In ''[[Fate/stay night]]'', one of the side effects of {{spoiler|Zouken's magical parasite worms}} on Sakura is increased sexual frustration, which she tries to cope with through masturbation. It doesn't work, but she [[Intimate Healing|moves on to Shirou]] [[Good People Have Good Sex|soon enough]]. Another is Shirou's erotic dream about Tohsaka in the same route. It's implied that this is something related to Rider and Sakura when we see Tohsaka's eyes, as they are the same as Rider's real ones. Also, he awakens with the same drained feeling as when Sakura has been leeching his magical energy. However, it's merely played as something to embarrass Shirou and never comes up again after talking to Tohsaka the next day.

 

* In the musical [[Spring Awakening]], it's mostly played for laughs when Hanschen is masturbating to a post card of a girl, but he is also sexually disturbed as he dreams of raping her.

 

=== Web Comics ===

* Mackenzie, the protagonist of ''[[Tales of MU]]'', masturbates in her sleep due to her nature as a repressed [[Horny Devil]].

* Happens on a single occasion in ''[[Survival of the Fittest]]'' (it's of the 'sexually frustrated') variety. The character, Beth Vandelinder was subsequently [[Caught with Your Pants Down|Caught With Her Pants Down]].

 

=== Western Animation ===

 

== Examples from Military Fiction ==

=== Comic Books ===

* In the ''[[Aliens vs. Predator]]'' comic book, a Marine left to guard the base is told there's some petroleum jelly in the supplies "in case he gets lonely".

 

=== Literature ===

* A subversion appears in a somewhat obscure POW narrative from WWII called ''Yanks Don't Cry''. When the camp doctor claims the mass outbreak of night blindness is being caused by masturbation, all of the men are horrified by the very suggestion that they could be masturbating. This may be because the author didn't want to admit to whacking off when the book was published in 1947, or have more to do with the prevailing attitudes towards masturbation at the time. At any rate, he mentions the burning envy every man felt for one inmate's ability to have lucid wet dreams whenever he wanted.

* ''[[A Farewell to Arms]]'' by [[Ernest Hemingway]]. The Italian officers in the mess tease the priest (who doesn't go to the brothel) by saying: "Priest every night, five against one!"

 

=== Live-Action TV ===

** One of the episodes is named "Combat Jack" for the Marines' masturbating after the adrenaline rush of a firefight.

** The book itself actively describes Marines going through this; in one case, there's even a quote from one Marine who said he had to do it three times in rapid succession, and was worried something was broken down there.

 

=== Film ===

{{quote|'''Radio operator:''' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}cF3k37j_wc4#t{{=}}3m14s Reminder:] 100 sterilize credits qualifies [[Expospeak Gag|non-mechanical reproduction simulation]].}}

* When ordering a Riflemen squad to move something in ''[[Company of Heroes]]'', the unit leader may reply to your order with: "Drop your dicks and move out!"

 

=== [[Western Animation]] ===

 

== Miscellaneous Examples ==

=== Anime and Manga ===

* In the fourth episodes of the second season of [[Rozen Maiden]], the dolls said, that Jun is in the toilet, reading "magazines".

* ''[[Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt|Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt]]'' devotes a whole episode to a tissue shortage that is disastrous because no one can masturbate. Turns out that the tissue shortage was caused by {{spoiler|the Ghosts of wasted sperm.}}

* Because ''[[Genshiken]]'' is a manga/anime about [[Otaku]], it features the characters reading or talking about [[Doujinshi]]. Most [[Doujinshi]] are erotic, and the series alludes (or more than alludes) to several of the main characters (male and female alike), ah, getting use out of them for the sake of comedy.

 

=== Comic Books ===

* My name is [[Transmetropolitan|Spider Jerusalem]]... I masturbate constantly and fling my steaming poison semen out the window onto your hair and food.

* Issue 3 of ''[[Horndog]]'' has a strip that reveals that Bob has the ability to perform oral sex on himself.

 

=== [[Fan Works]] ===

* ''[[Crazy Stupid Love]]'': Robbie does it while thinking of Jessica his babysitter that he loves.

* In the [[Biopic]] ''[[The Runaways]]'', Cherie Curie tries to masturbate, but complains that she cannot feel anything. [[Joan Jett]] suggests she think of the hottest guy she knows, but it doesn't work. Joan realizes what the problem is (that Cherie is a lesbian but doesn't know it yet because she's a virgin) and suggests she think of [[Farrah Fawcett]]. It works.

 

=== Literature ===

* Mother's Younger Brother does this in E.L. Doctorow's ''[[Ragtime]]''.

* Rabbit and his wife do this together in John Updike's ''Rabbit Redux''.

* A female example in the [[Night Huntress]] books. Cat is just beginning to accept her own sexuality. A few hours after making out with her love interest, she takes a bath and accidentally touches herself. Then she does it on purpose, and ''then'' she starts to get really into it.

* A weird version in ''[[The Red Tent]]''. In the time that the book takes place, when girls get their first period their female relatives have a ceremony for them and uses a goddess statue to break their hymen. The main character Dinah actually has an orgasm.

 

=== Live-Action TV ===

* On ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' Stephen reacts to political candidate Christine O'Donnell's claim that masturbation is a form of adultery by marrying his hand, just to be safe. In a later episode he's shocked to realize that that might make him gay because he's been "doing it with a dude."

* ''[[Outrageous Fortune]]'' has enough examples it could probably have it's own page.

 

=== Music ===

* [[The Decemberists]]' "[[Billy Liar]]." "[[Unusual Euphemism|Decked by a Japanese geisha with a garland of pearls]]," indeed.

* [[Bawdy Song]] "Masturbation", to the tune of "Alouette":

[Chorus]

''continue with "spank my monkey", "bash the bishop", "beat my meat", "jerk the Turk" et cetera ad nauseam. }}

* Joan Jett's "I Still Dream About You" says "It's all I can do to keep my hands of my pie when I think about the things we've done."

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDafLJRLthM "Touch Yourself"] by [[Barnes & Barnes]] makes no bones about it:

''Go on and touch yourself.''}}

<!-- * [[Bob Rivers]]' "Caught Me One-Handed" (a parody of Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me") is filled with [[Unusual Euphemism]]s, told from the POV of a young lad caught by mama fantasising about the gal next door. This fits the sub-trope [[Caught with Your Pants Down]]. -->

 

* In [[Egyptian Mythology]], this was how the world was ''created'', by the god Atum masturbating the universe into existence.

** It's even [[squick]]ier in the R-Rated version of the myth, where Atum actually ejaculates into his mouth, whereupon he spits out his children Shu and Tefnut. No joke, Egyptian theologians debated for ''centuries'' whether the world's first sexual partner was Atum's hand or his mouth.

* It's the very same god Hermes who, according to Diogenes, taught the trick to his son Pan pining for the nymph Echo, to relieve his suffering. Pan, in turn, learned the habit to the shepherds.

* An older name for masturbation, ''onanism'', comes from a misinterpretation of a passage in the Hebrew/Christian Bible [http://biblebrowser.com/genesis/38-9.htm book of Genesis], thus making the trope [[Older Than Dirt]]. The actual event mentioned was Onan having sex with his late brother's wife. (This was practiced to keep the dead person's line from dying out.) Not wanting to sire a child that would not have been considered his, he 'spilled his seed' (pulled out before climax) on the ground instead, and was stricken for his disrespect.

 

=== Professional Wrestling ===

* Referenced in a zing by [[CM Punk]] in his [[Mystery Science Theater 3000|MST3K]]-like commentary of ''[[World Wrestling Entertainment|WWE]] NXT'' Season 3 ([[Ms. Fanservice|the Rookie Divas season]]) during a promo challenge when one of the Divas talks about the old "view people in their underwear" public speaking trick.

{{quote|'''[[CM Punk]]''': You know, it's funny, [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|I'm actually not wearing pants, and that's how I watch NXT every week.]]}}

 

=== Tabletop Games ===

* Regent Fokuf in ''[[Exalted]]'' is regarded as a completely boneheaded puppet leader for the Realm for two reasons. One is that he rubber stamps anything that comes past his desk without a care for the contents. The other is that he spends the rest of the day getting off on the saucier passages in the Realm's religious documents.

 

=== Theatre ===

* ''[[Rent]]'': Mucho masturbation!

* ''[[Me and My Dick]]'' unsurprisingly has this as it's about sexual organs. Joey and Dick try to masturbate in the opening scene even! Later Vanessa and Flopsy imply they're about to.

 

=== Video Games ===

* One of Davan's previous girlfriends in [[Something*Positive]] nearly broke up with him because she was disturbed that he masturbated. They compromised; he could still masturbate, but only if she was doing all the work.

* ''[[Girls with Slingshots]]'' has a very open view on masturbation, and treats it as normal behaviour. Several strips revolve around the female characters buying or using vibrators.

 

=== Web Original ===

{{quote|'''Karl''': Well, they're not my hands then either.

'''Ricky''': (riotous laughter) You're a fucking genius! So, what you're doing is watching ''someone else'' wank. }}

 

=== Western Animation ===

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Sex Tropes]]

[[Category:Porn Tropes]]

[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Date with Rosie Palms, A}}