All Grown Up!/Quotes

    Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

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    Season 1

    The Rugrats: All Growed Up [1.0]

    Chuckie: We just wanted to know the words for Emica's songs for the concert!
    Angelica: You want too much, Finster.

    Angelica: Okay, they embarassed themselves enough. Let's go.

    Tommy: Only ten more years before Angelica's nice to us!
    Angelica: Hey! Somebody drooled on it, too. I'll get you lumpy-headed babies. Aunt Didi! Aunt Didi!
    Chuckie: Tommy, is ten years going to be a very long time?
    Angelica: Aunt Didi!

    Tommy [to Angelica]: Thanks.
    Angelica: Forget about it. We're cousins, stick together for all eternity.
    Grandpa Lou: That is the sweetest doggone thing I have ever heard you sprouts say!

    Samantha: Ewwww! Is that peanut butter?!
    Angelica: Oh, my gosh, how did that get there?!
    (At front of the bus)
    Tommy: Don't look now, but I think Angelica found the peanut butter.

    Coup DeVille

    Phil (to Dil and Tommy): We're (Phil and Lil are) twins!

    Dil [while sniffing a shoe]: Weirdorama. It's corinthian leather. But it smells like egg salad.
    Phil: That is so immature! (sniffs the shoe) Cat butt, duh!

    Pangborn: Finster, what are you doing?
    Chuckie: Drowning, sir?

    Phil: Thanks, I'll pay you back. As soon as that no-allowance-for-a-month thing is over. How was I suppose to know Kimi's great aunt was in that vase? They should label that stuff.

    Chuckie: This test is stupid and humiliating! I can't even do the simplest rope climb.
    Tommy: Chuckie, you made it almost to the top.
    Chuckie: Only 'cause Pangborn pushed me halfway up!

    Mr. Beaker: Morning. Sit down, find your chairs this time. Now, ignore my mumbling as I write on the board. Enjoy my back.

    Lil: Why are we partners on every project? It's always Phil and Lil this, Phil and Lil that, Newsflash, We're not two heads on one body! We are just two separate people who happen to live in the same house. He's Phil and I'm Lil. Two names, separated by the word "and." I am a thinking, breathing, independent individual and he's... Phil.

    Lil: Twins this, twins that. It's always Phil and Lil! It's never even Lil and Phil! There's too much "we"; not enough "me"! I am not wearing anything to that place because I'm not going!

    Chuckie: I was exercising my right to say no to the President and his stupid test. I made a stand by refusing to show up.
    Tommy: Chuckie Finster skipped a class?
    Chuckie: Actually, I was hanging out in the nurse's office.

    Chuckie: I've been humiliated year after year, and now my suffering's over! Today I am taking a stand for coordinately-challenged kids everywhere!
    Tommy: And tomorrow?
    Chuckie: Tommy, don't ruin my moment.

    Betty: Jeez! This is awful.
    Howard: I know, we either have to have another set of twins or actually pay for a vacation.
    Betty: No, Howie, we have a bigger problem than a lost vacation. Our little Lil is unhappy.
    Howard: Right.

    Betty: Calm down, Philly. Lil gets her own room, but think about it, so do you, and the computer stays here. And you finally have room for that basketball hoop you've always wanted, and you can paint the place any color you like, except tangerine 'cause it makes your father wig out.

    Leslie: All the right kids are here.
    Diane: Yeah. No lame-brains or dorks. Oh, by the way, where is your brother tonight?
    Lil: Not here!
    Diane: He really is a boob, isn't he?
    Leslie: My vote is for immature slob.
    Brett: Are you talking about Phil? He's like totally obnoxious in class.
    Lil: Not all the time.
    Diane: Not to mention gross and smelly.
    Leslie: This is fun! And he's really goofy looking, too.
    Lil: Not like I'm standing up for him or anything, but it's sometimes fun to be gross. And you know, Phil and I are twins, so if you think he's goofy looking, then I guess you think I am, too.
    Diane: No
    Leslie: No way
    Brett: We weren't sayin' that

    Diane: It's not like you don't know all this right? Phil is kind of a jerk
    Lil: Hey! I can call him a jerk or a slob, but you guys can't. You don't even know him! He can actually be cool sometimes, and fun, and funny, and loyal.

    Susie Sings the Blues

    Tommy [to Chuckie]: Come on Chuck, how long does it take to copy your butt?
    Chuckie: I wasn't sure if I was letter or legal sized.

    Chuckie: See, I'm vanilla, Crustless vanilla Finster, I was gonna get the chocolate mango swirl bar, but no, I chickened out at the last minute.
    Tommy: Actually, Chuckie, you chickened out at the first minute. But hey, be tight with that.
    Chuckie: But I want to be tight with a different Chuckie. The Chuck. A Chuck who takes risk, a Chuck who flirts with danger!

    Angelica: Everybody's a critic.

    Susie: Do you still have that cute top…
    Alisa: Don't push your luck, girl.

    Angelica [singing on the stage]: One, two, three, four! Can't help it boy, my heart's got call-waiting. Don't want you to be the only one I'm dating. Oops, got to put you on hold. Oops, got to put you on hold. And when our cars, went bump, bump baby. My heart went thump, thump, baby! (Harold plays on a red electric guitar and Dil and Phil and Lil dance and backup sing on the stage) (Other kids, tweens and teens boo at Angelica, Chuckie screams at Tommy and Angelica screams and falls off of the stage)

    Susie [singing on the stage]: I was feeling real shattered, but my dreams they still matter. So if you think I'm going, baby, you're wrong. I'm so strong 'Cause there's no getting rid of this dream. How can I tell you what I mean? Sure, I took the wrong path, but then I did some new math. 'Cause there's no getting rid of this dream. How can I tell you what I mean? (Phil and Lil, Dil and Harold dance and Phil and Lil and Dil backup sing on the stage and Kimi dances off of the stage)

    Bad Kimi

    Angelica: Well, it takes a very special kind person to be an advice giver. You have to be soft on the inside, but tough on the outside. Like left over lasagna. Ask yourself, Harold, are you left over lasagna?

    Kimi: Wow, isn't Z totally rockstar?
    Chas: Does that mean hoodlum?
    Kimi: Dad! What happened to your whole "don't judge a book by its cover" speech?!
    Chas: Well, it's different now because the book is hanging around with my daughter!

    Chas: So, Z, is that short for anything? Zack? Zebediah? Zeus?
    Z: No, it's just Z.
    Chas: Oh. So, how do you spell it?

    Kimi: (explaining why Z had the electronics) It'd blow his image. I mean, getting excused from class to do charity work?
    Chuckie: Excused?! I got detention!

    [Police sirens are heard in the background]
    Kimi [to Chuckie]: You didn't!
    Chuckie: No... Phil did... but it's only because he cares!

    Tweenage Tycoons

    Lil: We'll sue you, Angelica! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but as soon as we learn how to sue someone!

    Phil: (to Tommy) Be the first ones on your block to dress your pens and pencils!

    Phil: (About the view glasses) Can't we just put a warning label on them, "Do not use if moving"?
    (Chess clubber's is heard)
    Tommy: Sorry, guys, cheerleader just accidentally hugged a chess clubber, it's all over.

    Dil: I can't be bottled and sold. I'm not ketchup. (holds up the bottle of ketchup he's drinking)

    Truth or Consequences

    (The twins see Dil walk down the hall on his hands)
    Phil: I wonder what Dil would be like if we never dropped him on his head.
    (Lil shrugs)

    Pangborn (to Dil): I've been observing you, Pickles, and I must say I find your behavior disturbing.
    Dil: Tell me more.
    Pangborn: This past week I've noticed you eating exclusively green foods, hopping to class on one foot, and wearing your clothes inside out. What does that tell you, son?
    Dil: That you have a lot of free time on your hands?
    Pangborn: (growls) This is a standard psychological Rorschach test: I show you an inkblot; you tell me what you see. (Holds up an inkblot)
    Dil: A Rorschach test.
    Pangborn: (growls) Now, what do you see? (Holds up another inkblot)
    Dil: Uh, a medieval castle, hundreds of angry villagers, a raging moat, a fire-breathing dragon, and a honey-baked ham.
    (Pangborn bangs his head against his desk repeatedly)

    Pangborn (to Dil): Let's try a word-association experiment: I'll say a word; you respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Hot.
    Dil: Hot.
    Pangborn: Cold.
    Dil: Cold.
    Pangborn: Stop it.
    Dil: Stop it.
    Pangborn: You're supposed to give me a new word, not the same one I gave you!
    Dil: You asked me to say the first word that came to mind. And when you say "hot," the first word I think of is, well... "hot."
    Pangborn: (growls) Get out! No session tomorrow. Instead, I want to see the people responsible for your existence. (rips his suit at the back)
    Dil: (tries to open the door) It's stuck.
    Pangborn: (kicks the door down) Now it's not.

    Thief Encounter

    Tommy: (to the police) He (Dil) is innocent!

    Tommy: I was sleepwalking, you seriously think I'd go out in public like this?!
    Policeman: If I had a dime for every Joe who blamed his crime on sleepwalking, I'd be a rich man. Well, maybe not rich, but I'd own a boat.

    Angelica: (about Bernadette) I want to return it.
    Susie: Return what?
    Angelica: It.
    Susie: She's not a shirt, Angelica. She's a human being.
    Angelica: That's up for debate.

    Chuckie: (about Dil) Did he admit it?
    Tommy: Nope, he pushed the "I'm innocent" act. I'll have stay up all night and catch him.
    Chuckie: How do you expect to pull an all-nighter when you can't even stay awake during the least boring school activity?
    Tommy: What's that?
    Chuckie: Lunch, that thing you're wearing.

    Dil: I didn't do nothin', I swear.
    Betty: Okay, I'll bite. If you didn't take those things, then who did?
    Dil: (looks at Tommy) I'm taking the Fifth.
    Betty: (to Chaz) Figures, he (Tommy) already took everything else.

    River Rats

    Chaz: Dip, pull, then repeat. Plant your feet and keep your seat!

    Phil (to Tommy): Dip, Pull, eat red meant, plant some corn and peas and wheat! (laughs)

    Phil (to Tommy): burgers, fries, milkshake! Keep em coming big fat chick, I need the real thing not no fakes. Burgers, fries, milkshake!

    Brother, Can You Spare the Time?

    Tommy: (to Chuckie; out of breath) Do you know what it's like to be chased by crazy, lovesick girls?! One of 'em wanted my sock!
    Chuckie: No and ew.

    Lyrics to "Tommy's Tomorrow"

    Susie: What's the haps, for Tommy's tomorrow? We know our boy's round the corner from fame. So listen up all you sisters and brothers. To us, T. Pickles will still be the same. What's the haps, for Tommy's tomorrow? We know our boy's round the corner from fame. So listen up all you sisters and brothers. To us, T. Pickles will still be the same.

    Tommy (to Dil): And who said you won't be famous, too?
    Dil: Three words: Lars Christian Anderson.
    Tommy: Who's that?
    Dil: Exactly.

    The Old & the Restless

    Tommy (to Sean): My Grandpa may do some embarrassing stuff sometimes, but he's still my grandpa. So shut your pie hole!

    Mr. Beaker: And that's what makes the appendix one of the most impressive, yet utterly useless organs.

    Lil: We're catching up fast.
    Phil: Yeah, but it'd be nice if we could at least stop and smell the mucus.

    Didi: Dil, your steamed spinach on a bed of chilled spinach is getting cold and warm!

    It's Cupid, Stupid

    Kimi: Is it me, or is it kinda pathetic?
    Susie: I've seen worse… oh wait, that was Angelica, too!

    Chuckie (to Kimi): I just wanted to let you know that the same thing that is going on between you, Z, and Susie is going on between me, Tommy, and Nicole, so I know how you feel.
    Kimi: Oh, really? You suddenly realized you have a crush on Z and your best friend is a backstabber?
    Chuckie: Not exactly.

    Kimi: I heard Tommy say he was hoping Nicole would turn you down
    Chuckie: Tommy would never say that
    Kimi: That's what I thought about Susie

    Tommy Foolery

    Sean: Romeo didn't like mean girls. And neither do I. Me and Romeo don't like the meanies.
    Susie: (to Angelica) Guess that counts you out!
    Angelica: What do you mean?
    Susie: What do you mean what do I mean? I mean you're mean! So, adios to any chance with Sean!
    Angelica: I happen to be very nice.
    Harold: (dreamily) I think so, too.
    Angelica: Who asked yaaaaa?!

    Season 2

    Bad Apititude [2.01]

    Dil: Sorry I'm late, but I have exciting news. I just motivated a withering rose to bloom, yeah! It took a few hours and some sunlight and some water, but I did it. And I came up with a great motivational slogan: "Blek, be a blek (bleckie)!"

    Phil: I'm going to be a botanist.
    Lil: Do you even know what that is?
    Phil: No, but their booth has funnel cake.

    Lil: Kimi, did you see the school paper? People wrote in reviewing your reviews.
    Kimi: Pretentious, boring. Forget it, everyone's a critic.

    Tommy: Dil, what are you?!
    Dil: Tommy, you've got to break away, you're turning Blek-anise, I really think so, and that's not who u are, you're a filmmaker, not a bleckie!

    BLEK (Blek) Thug (Gangster/Gangsta) Phil: Wouldn't they be too cool fo that?

    Kimi: Well it was a little commercial.
    Everyone (to Kimi): It was a commercial!

    Fools Rush In [2.02]

    Tommy: Dil, this isn't a game! Okay, it is a game.

    Tommy: Either I'm facing a new friend or certain death.

    Lil: I'm on in less than half an hour. Be honest, do I look okay?
    Kimi: Uh, you're the new PA announcer, as in, no one's going to see you.
    Lil: Oh, yeah. So, do I look okay?

    Memoirs of a Finster [2.03]

    Chuckie: Kimi, what did you find out?
    Kimi: I'm Japanese!
    Chuckie: You're just figuring that out?

    Kimi: Max has to be the coolest teacher ever! This assignment actually sounds fun.
    Chuckie: I'll do your research since you're spending Saturday teaching me how to ice skate for Nicole's party.
    Kimi: Don't worry about it, Chucko. This project's going to be cake. Two Finsters, one family tree equals half the work.
    Chuckie: I like the way you think, Kimmo.
    Kimi: Don't do that.

    Phil: (to Tommy and Dil) Call me crazy, but that kid (Chuckie) looks kind of familiar!
    Tommy: Maybe 'cause he sits next to you in every single one of your classes now, he's new.
    Dil: Or 'cause he's rolled by 26 times in the past 10 minutes. Twenty-seven.

    Chuckie: See? Friends are like holidays: you can never have enough of them.
    Dil: Deep. You make that up?
    Chuckie: Nope. I got it off a greeting card.

    Chuckie: You're not a real Finster?!
    Lying Kimi: No, not technically.
    Chuckie: Right. 'Cause a real Finster would have taught her brother how to skate, so he won't spend an entire party on his butt risking frostbite, or death by... A SCARY BIG ICE MACHINE!

    Miss Nose it All [2.5]

    Angelica: Hold the elevator. (trips and falls) My ankle! My nose! MY PARTY!

    Kimi: Are Lil and I the only ones who actually want to make a tranquility garden?
    Phil: What? I'm not a plant person; I'm a people person.
    Lil: Guess again.

    Angelica: The grass is blue
    Doctor: Excuse Me?
    Angelica: The couch is on vacation
    Susie: Is that the crazy talk?
    Angelica: The pillows are hungry

    Harold (to Angelica): You have a cast on your nose!
    Angelica: Good work, Columbo.

    Runaround Susie [2.6]

    Susie (to Randy): What do you call those things before CDs?
    Randy: Records.
    Susie: Yeah.

    Phil: either tell on me or let it die, but end the torment
    Lil: maybe for the "your red sock in my white wash incident," but this. Spray-painting your skateboard and accidentally ruining mom's...
    Phil: Don't say it!
    Lil: Ok, her you-know-what?!

    Phil: It cannot be released in the air, because once it's said, I'm dead.

    Lil: Three words, Phillian: you... know... WHAT!
    Phil disguised as Evil Lil: Here's my three words, Lillian: you... signed... THIS! (holds up the contract)
    Lil: I... don't... CARE!
    Phil disguised as Evil Lil: YOU... CAN'T... DO... uh, THAT! IT MAKES TOO TIGHT!

    Geoffrey: (to Lil) It's the school reporter, even when you sign yours?
    Lil: Ho-ho, cheer up, Geoffrey, here's someone you know/like better, my brother, Phil?
    Gross Thug Phil: Yo, Geoffrey, you wanna shoot and put through our noses?
    Geoffrey: Augh, he (Phil)'s gross! Bye, Phlil (Phil and Lil).
    Phlil: Bye, Geoffey.
    Gross Thug Phil: (to Lil) I'm gross?! I'm GROSS?! ME?!

    Chas: Wow, renewing your wedding vows. Oh, how romantic, Betty?
    Betty: Romantic my caboose. It's just time for a new set of rules. You know, like "love, honor, and wear a snore guard." Heh.
    Chas: Ah. So, did you buy a new wedding gown?
    Betty: Are you nuts? I just let the old one out a little. (Pause) Okay, a lot.

    Saving Cynthia [2.8]

    Tommy: We were solving a science question! Uh, we found out that p-pudding travels three times farther when shot out of a straw in your nose than uh, straw in your mouth!

    Pangborn: Now, where was I?
    Tommy: (immitating Pangborn's voice) Look Pickles, I'll let it slide this time.
    Pangborn: Nice try. I— (device beeps, Pangborn tries to turn it off)
    Chuckie: Sir, is that one of those overhyped, overpriced, cutting edge digital organizers?
    Pangborn: No, it's an overhyped, overpriced, cutting edge digital organizer that saved my life! True, I was a little worried about compressing my entire existence into something the size of a waffle. My effiency variable has increased by 43%.
    Chuckie: I guess that's important, huh?
    Pangborn: Important! Not only is all my personal information at my fingertips, but it tells me what kind of coffee to order, what to wear, when to go to the dentist!
    Tommy: Huh. Sounds like you just need my mom.
    Pangborn: And it'll tell me what kind of punishment you deserve!
    [Tommy and Chuckie gasp.]
    Pangborn: I put the misuse of pudding, then Pickles and Finster, hit this little button here, and...voila! (digital organizer beeps and presents punishment) You must water my plants for a week?

    Didi: Oh, yes! I remember reading about that in Beyond Lipshitz. Parents should hold family hours to encourage a sincere and sharing dialogue with their children.
    Chaz: That's great, Didi! I'll think I'll start our very own family hour tonight. Really get Chuckie back!
    Betty: If I want to know what my pups are up to, I just eavesdrop on their conversations.
    Chaz: But Betty that's so, uh... (searches for a word in How to Talk to Your Kids So They'll Talk Back) invasive!
    Betty: Only if that they catch at it, Chazzie!

    Angelica: Cynthia! CYNTHIA!
    Harold: Who?
    Angelica: You don't know her, old friend.
    Harold: Who you keep stuffed in a chest? Gee, I'm luckier than I thought!

    Angelica: Impressive how you figured out where Cynthia is, Susie!
    Susie: (says sarcastically) Yeah, it took a brainiac like me to ask the clerk at the thrift shop who bought it.

    Susie: Just be honest! Nothing wins people over like a warm smile, sincerity, and... (pauses at Angelica's glare) Maybe I'd better do it.

    Angelica: Okay, so it's not like I haven't noticed how maybe sometimes, every now and then, I may get on people's nerves, but never Cynthia's!
    Harold: But Cynthia's a doll, so technically, she doesn't have nerves.

    Pangborn: By accidentally erasing my digital organizer, they've given me back my life! Pangborn is reborn! (laughs) I even picked out my socks this morning.

    Chaz: Who's Elmira?
    Pangborn: (pets his hanging plant) Her leafy tendrils brush my... (meanwhile, Stu, Didi, and Chaz usher Tommy and Chuckie out of Pangborn's office)

    The Science Pair [2.9]

    Kimi: Would you listen to those guys?
    Lil: (laughs) Yeah. We can win this Space Race on pure girls-are-obviously-smarter-than-boys power.

    Tommy: I call it the Socks-o-matic. Got the idea from Chuckie. Automatically sorts socks by color and texture so no one has to suffer a fashion tragedy again. (Chuckie lifts his pants to reveal mismatched socks)
    Chuckie: Hey, who're calling a tragedy?

    Tommy: Puke-o-rama! This milk is bad as bad gets.
    Chuckie: Worse even!
    Phil: Uh, guys, that's your milk. You're drinkin' my science project. I'm growing different bacteria to see which has the reekage quotient.
    [Tommy and Chuckie drop their milk in disgust.]

    Lil: (squeals) That boy on my arm would be the ultimate fashion statement!

    Stu: Anyone see Dil?
    Didi: He's been staying late at school for science club.
    Tommy: Dil's not in science club!
    Didi: No, but he's the subject of three different experiments.
    Stu and Tommy: Oh.

    Stu: Hey champ, these are nice springs. Where you'd get them?
    Tommy: Uh...borrowed 'em. (hurries out of the kitchen) Let's go!
    [Didi opens the dishwasher, which crashes to the floor. Tommy winces, and Didi taps her foot, frowning at him. Tommy smiles sheepishly.]

    Tommy: The Socks-o-matic sorted correctly almost 98.4% of the time. But...I still can't understand why it doesn't work on Dil's socks.

    Kimi: Heard of player pianos? We're making a whole player band

    Stu: I promised your mom we wouldn't stay up too late.
    Tommy: Uh, dad? That was three nights ago.

    Tommy: Mom has one.
    Stu: You mean the good silver one she guards like Fort Knox treasure?
    Tommy: Yeah, that one.
    Stu: We couldn't, could we?!
    Tommy: Project's on permahold otherwise...!

    Kimi: I've got to admit — Nicholas hanging on your arm does make a statement!
    Lil: (fake smiles and has a monster voice) Yeah, it says...I'M HANGING WITH A BLITHERING IDIOT!
    Kimi: Huh?
    Lil: I've decided to drop the spitball project. Instead, I'm doing a case study on Nicholas entitled: The Mind of the Mindless.

    Chuckie: I know what you mean. My dad still hasn't gotten over the day I told him I could button my own shirt.

    Mr. Beaker: (speaking to Tommy about his project) If any kid had entered a masterpiece like this, I would've suspected foul play.

    Izzy or Isn't He? [2.10]

    Chuckie: As long as I have your attention, I'd like to bring something to your attention.

    Chuckie: Uh, a little advice, Dil, having an imaginary friend after a certain age is something one should keep to one's self.
    Dil: I'm down with that, Safety Boy. I put the "imaginary friend" thing to bed when I was eight. Izzy's my imaginary alien friend.

    Phil: What? Lil's breath smells like feet? Izzy, that's harsh

    Phil (to Chuckie): You're running for what?!
    Chuckie: Safety commissioner.
    Lil: And why are you doing this?
    Chuckie: (trying to open his locker) My whole life, safety has been like a loony uncle locked away in the attic. It's time I took off the shackles and let him into the good part of the house! I've got pretty good odds, too. The only other candidate is Amelia somebody. She is so quiet, no one knows who she is. (opens the locker door and hits Phil and Lil with it) See, this is just the thing that could easily have been avoided. (Slams locker door on Tommy's thumb)
    Tommy: Somebody get a crowbar and some butter!

    Chuckie: (sadly) Why is eveyone mad at me? (gains his anger) ALL I DID WAS RUIN A STUPID TOWEL! (echoing) TOWEL! TOWEL!

    Project Chuckie [2.11]

    Angelica: Chuckie, I have observed your tragic social skills, but because we've been friends since childhood, I want to make a difference in your life. I'm here to help.
    Chuckie: Oh, this can't be good.
    Angelica: Chuckie, you're, well... a gork. Those sad few beyond geek.
    Chuckie: Not helping yet.

    Tommy: Wait 'til yo hear your parts, guys.
    Lil: I love the theater: the lights, costumes, make-up, applause.
    Phil touching Tommy: Good. Now, how do you feel about a skit in a history assembly?
    Lil: Hmm... yeah. Well, it is extra credit.
    Kimi: I don't know. History is so passé.
    Tommy: Not my version. These guys were cool, real rebels, the original American bad boys. It's going to rock; and I picked you guys over everyone.
    Phil touching Tommy: No one else wanted to do it, right?
    Tommy: That, too.

    Kimi: (about her part in the play) Who am I?!
    Tommy: Are you ready? Kimi, Lil, you're... "the people"!
    Kimi & Lil: "The people"?!
    Tommy: Yeah! They're, uh... important.
    Phil touching Tommy: You know what, "by the people, for the people".
    Phil: (rapping/singing about someone like presidents)
    Lil: (after rehearsing the play) Cut! Thomas, were "the people," by any chance, a chorus of idiots?!
    Kimi: We want better parts!
    Tommy: Sorry.
    Lil and Kimi: Hm!

    Chuckie: Just once, I'd like to know what it feels like to be genuinely popular.
    Lil: Huh! And what are we, deformed mutants?
    Kimi: Well, we are "the people."
    Tommy: Chuckie, we're popular.
    Chuckie: No, we're normal - except maybe Phil.
    Phil: Hey! (trips and makes Chuckie fall down.)

    The Finster Who Stole Christmas [2.12]

    Tommy: (while eating Chaz's gingerbread) This is some rockin' gingerbread!

    Kimi: (to Kira) I'm proud of you for keeping your cool.
    (Kira opens the cab door and a boy gets in)

    Fear of Falling [2.13]

    [Naked Tommy gasps after Phil made Tommy Naked.]
    Phil: (to Tommy) What?! (to everyone else) Did you see somebody (Tommy) naked?

    Angelica: (reading aloud the activities she's signing up for) Seaweed wrap, spa, pedicure, paraffin dip...
    Kimi: (reading aloud the activities she's signing up for) Kayaking, mountain biking, hot yoga...
    Daniel (Instructor): I need one more victim for the tracker five hike. Anyone interested?
    Angelica: As long as I'm signing...
    Daniel: Make sure to you wear sturdy hiking boots, travel light — we'll hook up at 5 AM.
    [Daniel leaves.]
    Angelica: It spent thirteen years in the making, but I finally met the guy who's worthy of my first kiss.
    Kimi: You might want to give him the heads up.

    Olivia: It's okay. Hey you're the guy who was spying on me through the telescope.
    Tommy: Spying is such a harsh word, I'd prefer to think of it as casual surveillance.

    Chuckie: Phil, can I ask you a personal question?
    Phil: Okay, I didn't shower before I got in. But no one takes that rule seriously.
    [Lifeguard blows his whistle, Phil stands up and gets hosed by Tommy?/water.]

    Phil: I don't know about her, but I do feel weird around Tommy when he's around Olivia. She's pretty nice though, and she didn't cry when I accidentally hit her in the head with a giant snowball.
    Chuckie: That was an accident?
    Phil: Okay, I was totally aiming for the head.

    Chuckie: Where have you been all day?
    Kimi: When Angelica bailed on her spa appointments, I felt so bad I volunteered to fill in. And you know what? It was the best day of my life!

    Tommy: You know, Chuckie, it's great hanging out with somebody you totally gel with — who makes you laugh and cool.
    Chuckie: Thanks, man! I feel the same way!
    Tommy: You like Olivia too?
    Chuckie: Oh. I thought you meant — never mind.

    Tommy: Olivia tried to kiss me yesterday!
    Chuckie: She did? So, what did you do?
    Tommy: Oh, what any mature man of the world would do: I smashed a snowball in her face!

    Tommy: So, you think I'm ready for my first kiss?
    Chuckie: One of us has to be! And I'm on hold until my braces come off. Let me know if you hear bells. Kimi says you do, but she might just be clowning on me.

    Tommy: I gotta go, I'm sorry I would love to stay for my second, third and if it's not pushing it fourth kiss, but I promised to meet Chuckie for phase three.
    Olivia: Go on, get out of here.
    Tommy: And for the record, I like you a lot better than snow.

    Chuckie: Why couldn't I have a phobia closer to the ground? Like spiders...or zippers! I could repell down...or stay here all night and risk becoming a Chucksicle! (watches as a rock plunges to the depths) Chucksicle it is! (hears wolves howling in the distance) On the second thought, I need the exercise.

    Chuckie: And in case I don't make it back alive, I-I need to know one thing: did you kiss her?
    Tommy: Don't tell anybody, but...yeah, I kissed her, MY FIRST KISS!
    Angelica: His first kiss?! I'm gonna kill him!
    [NOTE: Technically, Olivia kissed Tommy. Also, Angelica is mad when Tommy shouts out, "My first kiss!" because he interrupted what was to be her first kiss (with Daniel)...and she was later forced to reveal her secret in taking shortcuts while hiking, which caused Daniel to regard her disfavourably.]

    Kimi: Wait a minute, if we're all here — who's guarding the mountain?
    Phil: Nobody, we're not playing the game, we're hiding from Angelica.

    Season 3

    Blind Man's Bluff [3.1]

    Tommy: Not to mention they finally re-opened Whiplash Gorge.
    Phil: After settling all thse pesky lawsuits.

    Tommmy: Good call, Chuckie. You have nothing to fear except fear itself.
    Chuckie: That's what I'm afraid of.

    Stu: (to Didi) This isn't going to be easy. But don't worry, I can handle it.
    [Scence change with Tommy and Dil.]
    Stu: Boys, I, uh... your mother wants to talk to you.

    Didi: So, you two have to pick up Grandpa Boris from the optometrist.
    Dil: Nooooooooooooooooo!
    Chuckie: Mama, God told me to look around, all around North, South, East and West. My dad is in BIG trouble! Working together is they've got the job done.

    [The next day, on the dock, Chuckie and Tommy ran in the boat]
    Didi: (bumps on a sticker bur) Ouch!
    Chuckie: What happened?
    Stu: Didi bumped on a sticker bur on the dock.
    [Didi puts her hands on her hips and frowns at her husband.]

    Lil: What is it, Chuck?
    Chuckie: Just reading the fine print. Specifically, that Slosh Mountain is not responsible for extreme bodily harm.
    Phil: Ah, you know lawyers. Always so worried about losing limbs.

    Phil: Ten bucks says I can throw up more times than anyone here.
    Kimi: You're on!
    Lil: Don't do it, Kimi. He has a wicked gag reflex.

    Grandpa Boris: Don't touch me! I can walk fine! You didn't dilate my legs, did you?
    Doctor: Now, Mr. Krepotkin, the best thing is to rest your eyes while they're dilated like this. Maybe you should take a nice, long nap.
    Grandpa Boris: (facing a lamp) You take a nap! I'm not blind!

    Dil: You know, we could still go.
    Tommy: How?
    Dil: He can't see. We'll park him somewhere, and tell him he's at the...senior center.
    Tommy: Dil, if mom and dad found out, we'd be toast! Actually, we'd be lucky to be toast. We'd be the bird stuff that we scrape off the toast.
    Dil: Bro'! They won't find out. As soon as we're there, we'll hit Whiplash Gorge — in and out thirty minutes.
    Tommy: Oh, I don't know.
    Dil: Technically, they didn't say we couldn't go to Slosh Mountain. They said we had to pick up grandpa. Who says we can't do both?
    Tommy: It would be a shame to waste the tickets.
    Dil: Now you're talkin', T'! And just think of poor grandpa, stuck in that stuffy house all day with his broken eyes.

    Dil: Well, here we are, grandpa. Good ol' senior center.
    Grandpa Boris: Why did you bring me here? I hate this place!
    Tommy: You love the senior center. All your friends are here!
    Grandpa Boris: What friends?! Harry? All he talks about are his golf stones. Ira, that guy owes me ten bucks! Anyway, are you sure this is the senior center? It doesn't sound like it, (sniffs) or smell like it.
    Tommy: Well, uh, that's because it's Deep-fried Chocolate Bar Tuesday!

    Lil: This is it! Whiplash Gorge: the only ride in the world with its own hospital!
    [Lil, Chuckie, Phil, and Kimi watch as an ambulence pulls up carrying a man in his bathing suit with a bandaged head and a balloon.]
    Phil: They're stuff of dreams.
    Chuckie: Bad dreams.
    Kimi: (looking at Whiplash Gorge) You'd have to be crazy to go on this thing. (changes tone from worry to excitement) Who's first?!
    Kid on Whiplash Gorge: Heellppp meeeeeee!

    Tommy: Just you know, if we never find him, this is all on you!
    Dil: I think we're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe grandpas are like chickens! Some prefer the comfort and security of the hen-house, while others want to roam on the free range!
    Tommy: (exasperated) Do you even believe half the stuff that comes out of your mouth?

    Dil: How is it my fault? You listened to a guy wearing a bathing suit and a ski cap — how smart was that?
    Tommy: You — you used your hocus-pocus mind control junk on me!
    Dil: I didn't do that! Besides, everyone knows it doesn't work around water.

    Kimi: (on walkie-talkie) Team Leader Alpha to Team Leader Delta. Report. Over.
    Lil: This is Team Leader Delta. Over.
    Kimi: Lil, what happened to Phil?
    Lil: I relieved him of command. He was being an idiot.

    Security chief: All right, you know why you're here. Don't steal, et cetera. Just watch this video about pool rules and you can go.
    Tommy: (raises his hand) Sir, we can explain.
    Security chief: Please don't.

    [Grandpa Boris cuts the line for Whiplash Gorge.]
    Grandpa Boris: Oh, stuff it. I'm a senior citizen, I can do whatever I want.

    Grandpa Boris: (to security guard) You're not sending me back until I've gone on Whiplash Gorge!

    Grandpa Boris: ...It's just — well, when you're old, people don't let you have fun so much anymore. I guess I got a little carried away!
    Tommy: You know, they don't always let you have fun as a kid either.
    Grandpa Boris: Um...maybe we keep this little adventure between us, heh?
    [Chuckie rotates Kimi's dress.]
    Chuckie: Deal.
    Dil: Now, that was mind control.
    Tommy: Hmm, I thought it didn't work around water.
    Dil: Oh, it does.
    [Tommy gives him a look, because it was contrary to what Dil said earlier.]
    Dil: What? I can't tell you everything.

    Grandpa Boris: Sorry I did an stage-dive in between your number, Suezzle. But an old guy's gotta do, what an old guy's gotta do.
    Susie: Actually, the audience loved it so much, (Susie dances) we're booked for the next three weeks! You up for a repeat performance?
    [Susie and Grandpa Boris high-five each other.]

    Didi: Hey you guys, how was the optometrist?
    Tommy: Oh, piece of cake!
    Dil: In and out in thirty minutes.
    Grandpa Boris: No big surprises.
    Didi: Well, we have a surprise for you boys. We felt really awful about making you miss your trip, so...
    Stu: ...We got you season passes to Slosh Mountain!
    Tommy: For real?!
    Dil: Whoah!
    Didi: Look at you two, acting like responsible adults. I'm so proud. Tommy, Dil, how'd you boys get sunburned? And Dad, why do you smell like chlorine?

    Yu-Gotta-Go [3.2]

    Phil: I see something in your eyes, dude. Something I've never seen there before.
    Chuckie: I call it amptitude, my man.
    Phil: No, it's called eye crust. Don't you wash your face in the morning?

    Chuckie: (while reading Angelica's diary) Tried stuffing bra. Too lop-sided.

    The Curse of Reptar [3.3]

    Chuckie: So there wasn't any curse of Reptar after all. Well, what do you know about that. Well, good night.
    Tommy: That's it? After scaring everyone half to death, that's it?

    Lil: So, why'd you even come, Angelica?
    Angelica: Are you kidding? Don't you know it's always the gorgous girl with the naturally bouncy hair who stays behind in the house, and never makes it to the end of the movie? I'd be a goner.

    Dil: You still think we'll get the pool, T? 'Cause I was thinking of expanding my sanctuary and calling it "Habitat for Manitee."
    Tommy: Pool, yes. Marine mammals, no.

    Tommy: We found our old Reptar toy in the backyard and tossed him out. Now, Chuckie thinks that Reptar's mad at us.
    Angelica: That is, like, the lamest thing I've ever heard.

    Stu: We're going to get you boys something every kid dreams of having.
    Angelica: A home in Aspen?
    Dil: A six week course in Portuguese?
    Chuckie: Respect?

    Angelica: This puts me on Tommy's side, which is a first I'm not particularly proud of.

    Angelica: You preteens are lucky your parents are smart enough to have someone my age around to figure these things out.
    Phil: You know, she's right.
    Lil: That may be the scariest thought all night.

    It's Karma, Dude! [3.4]

    Susie: Did she call me about the audition sign up?
    Tommy: Yeah, she did. I heard her. I don't want to get hurt here.

    Angelica: (to Dil) How'd you do that?
    Dil: What?
    Angelica: The light-glow-warmth thing.

    The Big Score [3.5]

    Betty: How 'bout we squeeze in some "Lil time" tomorrow. After practice, we can have a girls night out.
    Lil: We're not shopping for bras, are we?
    Betty: That's your father's department.

    Lil: Everything around here is always soccer, soccer, soccer.
    Phil: Dad, can you put on the Soccer Channel?

    Football Coach: (Blows whistle) You expect to be on junior junior varsity with no upper-body strength? (Blows whistle)
    Angelica: You're the coach! Why don't you show me how it's done?! Put your money where your big, fat mouth is!
    Football Coach: That's some squawk box you got on you, Pickles. Any chance you'd be interested in a student coaching position?

    Angelica: That's it! Sports - it's a guy magnet. I just need a sport.
    Susie: You're forgetting one itsy-bitsy detail; you have no athletic ability what-so-ever.
    Angelica: Yeah, but that sure doesn't stop Phil.

    Pangborn: (To soccer team) And just because we've lost every single game... ever... doesn't mean that today we can't lose by a little bit less.

    Pangborn: (To soccer team) Time to work on penalty shots, people! (Softly) 'Cause heaven knows you need it.
    Phil: (to Tommy and Chuckie) Tell me the truth, answer me!
    Chuckie: Mom, Dad, I don't wanna answer him the question!
    Phil: Answer me, she (wally)'s really good, ain't she?!
    Tommy: (to Phil) Yeah!

    Rats Race [3.6]

    Angelica: (About Harold) That skunk! All that hard work, and he's the one who gets to go to Paris, France.
    Tommy: You mean Paris, Texas. The finals are in Texas.
    Angelica: Texas? You mean I risked my life for a trip to America's dust bowl?!

    Chuckie: (Looking at soap box derby car diagram upside-down) Not a clue.
    (Tommy flips it right-side up)
    Chuckie: Thanks, Tommy. Still no clue

    Phil: This much money just to crash a car?
    Chuckie: I'm out. Or was I already out? I forget.

    Wouldn't It Be Nice? [3.7]

    Angelica: It's all about having your own personality. That's why I need to get a nose ring exactly like Emica's.

    Dude, Where's My Horse? [3.8]

    Phil: (Singing to everyone) Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word. And the skies are not cloudy all day. (Stops singing and probably evil laughs probably at everyone, to Lil) Not bad, huh?
    Lil: I don't know you.

    Tommy: Chuckie, I'm sorry I was kind of a jerk to you the other night.
    Chuckie: Nah, you weren't a jerk, just testy, but you seem like you're in a good mood now, did you finally lasso the wooden cow?
    Tommy: Nope, I finally accepted the fact that I'm the lamest cowboy on the planet, and I'm completely comfortable with it.
    Chuckie: I've always said the key to happiness is... lowered expectations.

    Tommy: Not everyone can expect to be a cowboy overnight.
    (Chuckie begins playing harmonica)
    Tommy: When did you learn how to play the harmonica?
    Chuckie: I play the harmonica?

    Angelica: What are you looking at?
    Chuckie is disguised as the Little Red: Uh... I - I never met a city girl before. How did you get your hair so shiny?
    Angelica: We bathe.

    (On the bus, Angelica's kicking Tommy's seat)
    Tommy: Angelica, do you have to keep kicking my seat?!
    Angelica: No, I don't have to, but seeing as how you got us into this mess, it's my pleasure.

    R.V. Having Fun Yet? [3.9]

    Kimi: Guess who I found digging through the trash?
    Phil: (holds hands up) I was here all night.

    Ladies' Man [3.11]

    Insert quote here

    Season 4

    Separate But Equal [4.3]

    Lil in a woman/monster? voice: AAAAAAAAAH (2 times) (Angelica, Susie, Wally and Kimi scream.), Phil, I'm going to KILL you!

    (Lil hits the window doors on Phil.)

    Phil (in a Monster Voice): AAAAAAH!
    Lil: Are you hurt?
    Phil: No.
    Lil (in a Monster Voice): Too bad!

    (Dil and teens scream, hose (wet) each other and scream, Tommy pushes Chuckie and Chuckie falls down.)

    Lil: Chuckie, are you okay?
    Phil interrupting Lil: I'm sorry.
    Lil: Nice shot, Phil!

    Phil (in a Monster? voice): (to Lil) YOU STARTED IT!
    Lil: (gasps) I DID NOT!

    Phil: (to Lil) This is all your fault, you know?!
    Lil: You're the one who wanted separate parties!

    O Bro, Where Art Thou? [4.6]

    Chuckie: Not Clowns. Anything but Clowns. Don't Like 'em. Don't trust 'em. Don't want to be 'em.

    Rat Traps [4.7]

    Dil (talking about the robbers) Those guys could be mutant androids that spit acid out of their eyes! (everyone stares at Dil blankly) That's it. No more PG-13 movies movie for me. I'm going back to epic romances.

    Chuckie: Why is it that the guys with the glasses and the swollen adenoids always get picked on?

    Lil: Brilliant idea, Phil. Suggesting that movie.
    Phil: Since when do you listen to me? I'm a moron. Plus, Angelica's the one who made us come back in here.

    (While Susie and Angelica are counting money for charity)
    Susie: Thirteen dollars, fifty-seven cents. How'd you do?
    Angelica: (counting) Ten, eleven...six hundred forty-three dollars and one certified check.
    Susie: How'd you do that?!
    Angelica: It's nothin'! You should've seen me on my magazine drive. I had a nun in tears!

    Season 5

    Susie Goes Bad Lite

    Chuckie: (to Tommy to shake bad) YOU GOTTA HELP ME!
    Tommy: (to Chuckie) He (Phil)'s annoying.

    (Phil and Chuckie are fighting and putting eggs in the bowl down on the ground and eggs on the floor, that's a mess.)

    Phil: HEY, my eggs.
    Tommy scolding Phil: Look at yourself, Phil!

    Phil (to Tommy/Chuckie): YO BEING STUPID!


    Tommy (to mad Phil and Lil, Chuckie, tweens and teens): That (?) has nothing to do with me liking Kimi!

    Chuckie (to Tommy): Taylor! (Tommy and his former/current friends almost heard Chuckie)
    Tommy: That's it, I'm outta here!
    Chuckie: Good, then buy yourself a sidekick, you... you... sister stealer!
    Kimi: (to Chuckie) AUGH, you idiot, I carved the initials, not Tommy, ME!
    Chuckie: WHAT?!
    Tommy: (to Kimi) You did?!
    Kimi: (to who?) Get into yourself!

    What's Love Got to Do with It?

    (Angelica cries.)

    Susie: You didn't really think he (Harold) was gonna go for you, did you?
    Angelica: (crying) No, and that's the worst part, liking someone so much and knowing, they'll never feel the same way about you!
    Susie: Now you know how Harold feels?
    Angelica: (still crying) I know, how pathetic is that?! (cries, bangs on the clock and screams)

    All Broke Up

    Dil: (to Chuckie and Phil in Tommy's room) (knocks on the door) Who is it?
    Chuckie: (opens the door) It's us.
    Dil: Who's us?
    Phil: Come on, Dil, it's Phil and Chuckie.
    Dil: (to Tommy) I'll stall, you get ready, remember, lady love has dealt you a harsh blow, so embrace the misery.
    Tommy: Don't say it, everyone thinks I'm funny!
    Chuckie: (to Tommy) Water can't hurt you.
    Tommy: Yes it can!

    (Chuckie and Phil bully, push, punish and arrest (chastise) Tommy)

    Tommy (to Chuckie/Phil): OW, NO! (screams/cries/takes the umbrella from Dil)

    (Chuckie and Phil pushes and takes Tommy in the shower and Tommy screams and cries)

    Tommy: (to Chuckie/Phil) I HATE YOU ALL!

    Phil: (to Tommy) I can't even look at you right now!
    Lil: (to Tommy) Jerk!
    Kimi: (to Tommy) Insensitive Jerk!
    Chuckie: (to Tommy) Girl hog!
    Anita: Tommy!
    Rachel: Tommy!

    <Phil and Lil, Kimi and Chuckie walk away>

    Phil: (to Tommy) Dead man walking!
    Anita (Nita/Anida/Nida): (to Tommy) Tis/This switch is way uncool, I was right the first time, you do belong in a mental institution!
    Tommy: (to Anita/Rachel) I'm sorry.
    Rachel: (to Tommy) I can't believe I took a 45-minute train ride just to see you, the biggest jerk on the planet, I'll never forgive you, and I never ever want to see you again, EVER!
    Tommy: RACHELLL!
    Someone who's a man: (to Tommy) Calm down.
    Angelica disguised as Dil: Hi, I'm Dil!

    Dil: (to Someone) I didn't want it to go down this way, but you crossed the line, and then you stomped on it, lit it on fire, and danced on its ashes!

    Petition This

    Susie: I've done worse than undermine democracy. I've help bust up a family.
    Angelica: You've done worse, and that was one hammy reading you just gave
    Susie: This is our fault, we have to fix this.
    Angelica: No way. I don't get involved in family business
    Susie: Since when, and even you know that their own children have to be there
    Angelica: Especially if I could get blamed for them not showing
    Susie: Your parents could punish you by taking away your cell phone.
    Kimi: (to Chuckie) I HATE YOU!
    Chuckie: (to Angelica) THAT'S (?) NOT TRUE!
    Tommy: (to Chuckie) In the great big fight, Kimi told you you're not going to an anniversary and (shakes Chuckie's shirt) THINK AGAIN!
    Chuckie: Okay, let go of me, my skin hurts!
    Kimi: I'm going to get a cell phone back!
    Chuckie: But you're not!
    Dil: (to sleeping Tommy) Wake up! (punches Tommy) (to Chuckie and Kimi) Okay!
    Kimi: (to Chuckie) Am too!
    Chuckie: ARE NOT!
    Dil: (to Chuckie/Kimi to stop from fighting about cell phones) Okay!
    Kimi: (to Chuckie) AM TOO!
    Chuckie: ARE NOT!

    (Tommy stops Chuckie/Kimi from fighting about any cell phones.)

    Brothers Grimm

    Bully Phil: THERE HE (Tommy or Dil) IS!
    Bully Lil: GET HIM!
    Tommy: (to Lil) How much gum are you chewing?
    Interrupting Phil: (to Tommy) Like ten sticks of it, anytime someone just mentions TV, boops, another stick goes in, it's like she's addicted or something?!
    Kimi: (to Tommy and Chuckie pulling Kimi from banging on the door for the janitor about getting TVs back) I'm recklessly mad!

    Golden Boy

    Tommy: Tiramisu? Cheap shot
    Dil: Oh if we're talking cheap, you taking credit for my teepee was discount city.