Ancient Greece: Difference between revisions

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''Think of [[Crystal Spires and Togas]], but'' ''[[Dissimile|without the crystal spires]] [[Ancient Rome|or the togas.]]''

Home of columned temples, chiton-wearing gods, slinkily dressed goddesses, amazons, and bearded philosophers. Also home to mythic thong-wearing heroes who ride winged horses and do great deeds (all without getting either chafed ''or'' sunburnt). The [[The Spartan Way|Spartans]]

Home of columned temples, chiton-wearing gods, slinkily dressed goddesses, amazons, and bearded philosophers. Also home to mythic thong-wearing heroes who ride winged horses and do great deeds (all without getting either chafed ''or'' sunburnt). The [[The Spartan Way|Spartans]] live here too, and they're known for their [[Training from Hell|brutal training methods]], stylish [[Bullet Time|slow-motion fighting techniques]] and for being manly enough to charge nearly naked into battle even when outnumbered 70 to 1. And they ''[[Blatant Lies|definitely]]'' [[Ho Yay|aren't gay]]. Frequently [[Ancient Grome|confused]] with [[Ancient Rome]] by directors who [[They Just Didn't Care|just don't care]].

live here too, and they're known for their [[Training from Hell|brutal training methods]], stylish [[Bullet Time|slow-motion fighting techniques]] and for being manly enough to charge nearly naked into battle even when outnumbered 70 to 1. And they ''[[Blatant Lies|definitely]]'' [[Ho Yay|aren't gay]]. Frequently [[Ancient Grome|confused]] with [[Ancient Rome]] by directors who [[They Just Didn't Care|just don't care]].

In fact, this picture is a [[Anachronism Stew|blend]] of two distinct periods; mythical Greece, conventionally said to end with the [[Trojan War]] around 1000BC, and classical Greece, home to the first philosophers. The "classical Greece" period itself tends to [[Cultural Blending|blend cultures]] that evolved and combined over the course of many centuries. Until Athens pulled the city-states together for defense against Persia, Greece didn't have a monolithic culture; it was the sum of the cultures of many independent city-states, all angling to make their patron gods the most important, and all ultimately blended together in the giant food processor of history. If you were to visit the Balkan Peninsula in, say, Pythagoras' day, you'd find that religious practices and social mores varied heavily depending on what city you were in.

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* [[Let's Fight Like Gentlemen]]: It was a common lament during the Peleponesian War that new weapons and tactics had made the manly phalanx fighting obsolete.

* [[Love Potion]] (Eros's arrows)

*[[Our Dwarves Are Different]]: According to historian Victor Davis Hanson they were usually about five foot tall, and while they preferred a track star build as an image of male beauty usually had knotted muscles from pushing plows. They went into battle lugging tons of armor and, well, just look at [[Socrates]]. In other words they were [[Fridge Logic|Dwarves.]] On the other hand they did not live underground, they were great sailors, and were famous for philosophy and art. So maybe they were [[Fridge ~~Brillance~~|both elves and Dwarves?]]

* [[Our Dwarves Are Different]]: According to historian Victor Davis Hanson they were usually about five foot tall, and while they preferred a track star build as an image of male beauty usually had knotted muscles from pushing plows. They went into battle lugging tons of armor and, well, just look at [[Socrates]]. In other words they were [[Fridge Logic|Dwarves.]] On the other hand they did not live underground, they were great sailors, and were famous for philosophy and art. So maybe they were [[Fridge Brilliance|both elves and Dwarves?]]

* [[Physical God]]

* [[The Spartan Way]]

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[[Category:Liddell and Scott Greek-English Lexicon]]

[[Category:Hollywood History]]

[[Category:~~Ancient Greece~~]]

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