Captain Obvious: Difference between revisions

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'''Reporter:''' "Well, what did he say about it?"

'''Coolidge:''' "He was against it." }}

** This anecdote is also told with Mrs. Coolidge asking Mr. Coolidge.

::* This anecdote is also told with Mrs. Coolidge asking Mr. Coolidge.

* Clark Kellogg: "Your shooting percentage goes down significantly when your shot is challenged."

* Mercenary commander "Mad Mike" Hoare included a short essay on leadership in his book on the Simba rebellion in the Congo. In it he mentions the importance of reacting immediately when the bullets start flying, even if it's an obvious order like "Take cover!", as it makes the commander sound like he's on top of the situation. Having achieved this of course, the commander's next orders had better be more useful.

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{{quote|'''Can of sardines''': Contains fish.

'''Sainsbury's Peanuts''': May contain nuts. [I should hope so!]|[[Mister Exposition|Ahum.]] Peanuts are legumes (related to peas, beans, etc) so people who are allergic to real nuts aren't necessarily allergic to peanuts. However, peanuts are often packaged using the same machinery used to package other nuts as well. So a package of peanuts [[Justified Trope|may contain (traces of) nuts.]]}}

** Wal-Mart brand (Great Value) salmon actually says, on the back of the can, "Allergy Warning: Contains Salmon".

:* Wal-Mart brand (Great Value) salmon actually says, on the back of the can, "Allergy Warning: Contains Salmon".

{{quote|'''Jar of peanut butter''': Contains peanuts.

'''Cheddar''': Contains milk products.

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'''Bottle of Aspirin''': Do not use if you are allergic to aspirin.

'''British bottle of milk''': May contain milk. [Why do they need to hedge their bets? I'd really like to see the bottle of milk that didn't actually contain milk?] }}

** Spoofed in ''[[Dork Tower]]'', with:

:* Spoofed in ''[[Dork Tower]]'', with:

{{quote|'''Nutty Nut Nut Cluster Bar. It's NUT-rageously NUT-ritious! Start your day the NUTTY way!''' <small>This product may contain nuts.</small>}}

* A CNN news crawl shortly into the US invasion on Afghanistan: "[some US general] on [[Osama Bin Laden]]: 'He's either alive or dead in some tunnel'". Still impressive in that they ruled out dead outside of a tunnel.

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"Look, the ball is an essential part of the game."

"You can't win without the ball." }}

** It becomes less absurd if you treat them as tongue-in-cheek arguments against overly defensive play. Which make them even more hilarious.

:* It becomes less absurd if you treat them as tongue-in-cheek arguments against overly defensive play. Which make them even more hilarious.

** Along similar lines, hockey legend Wayne Gretzky said: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

:* Along similar lines, hockey legend Wayne Gretzky said: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

* [[Christopher Nolan]], in [http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=29317 speaking to the press] about [[The Dark Knight Rises|his third Batman film]], attempted to comment on what characters to expect without actually giving away any information. Thus: ''"We'll use many of the same characters as we have all along, and we'll be introducing some new ones."'' No way.

* Any elevator in Brazil will have [https://web.archive.org/web/20121231150317/http://www.dzai.com.br/static/user//18/18971/3124569e49c76e65a6fa31cda299638a.jpg this warning], which translated says "Warning to the users: Before entering the elevator, ensure that it [the elevator car] is on the current floor". This was added because of old elevators, where one could force open the door, but with new elevators which all have sensors and failsafe switches, it became rather obvious.