Could Say It, But...: Difference between revisions

Line 1:

{{quote|''"I'd'' '''''like''''' ''to help you, but I can't. I'd'' '''''like''''' ''to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on [Hands his client notepad and pen] - Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X - on the 3rd floor, but I can't. I also do'' '''''not''''' ''advise you to fill out and file a WS-2574 form with our legal department on the 2nd floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do."''~~|'''Bob Parr''', ''[[The Incredibles]]''}}~~

{{quote|''"I'd'' '''''like''''' ''to help you, but I can't. I'd'' '''''like''''' ''to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on [Hands his client notepad and pen] - Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X - on the 3rd floor, but I can't. I also do'' '''''not''''' ''advise you to fill out and file a WS-2574 form with our legal department on the 2nd floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do."''

|'''Bob Parr''', ''[[The Incredibles]]''}}

Bob wants to say something, but for whatever reason can't. Maybe he'd risk his job if he spoke up, or maybe he just doesn't want to look crazy or malicious. Anyway, Bob gets around this by mentioning it but pretending he isn't, as in, "Well I could tell you that the shutoff switch to the doomsday machine is down the hall, first right, second left, behind the water cooler, but I won't do that because I'd lose my job." In other words, he Could Say It But... he won't. Except he just did.

Sometimes used as an insult, especially in politics. For example, "I refuse to stoop to the level of calling my opponent a corrupt, greedy ~~slimeball~~."

Sometimes used as an insult, especially in politics. For example, "I refuse to stoop to the level of calling my opponent a corrupt, greedy [[Slime Ball]]."

[[Truth in Television]]. Technical terms for this include "paralipsis" and "praeteritio".

See also [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] or [[I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You]], for those bits when this is not intentional. Also related to [[I'll Pretend I Didn't Hear That]]. Do not confuse with [[I Would Say If I Could Say]]. May result from the asker using [[Politeness Judo]].

----

⚫

{{examples|I wish I was able to let you know the following examples...}}

⚫

{{examples|I wish I was able to let you know the following examples...}}

== Can't say this is Anime or Manga ==

* [[SHUFFLE!]] has a version of this. Ama was/is a volunteer test subject used in an incredibly high risk magical experiment. (She volunteered because she felt she had no reason to live.) It failed, and she was, incidentally, thrown into the human world, where she fell in love, had a child, happy ending etc. One day, the Gods (and overseers of the experiment) happen to walk past her almost 2 decades later, and after staring at her for a while, continue walking, talking loudly enough for her to hear:

* ''[[SHUFFLE!]]'' has a version of this. Ama was/is a volunteer test subject used in an incredibly high risk magical experiment. (She volunteered because she felt she had no reason to live.) It failed, and she was, incidentally, thrown into the human world, where she fell in love, had a child, happy ending etc. One day, the Gods (and overseers of the experiment) happen to walk past her almost 2 decades later, and after staring at her for a while, continue walking, talking loudly enough for her to hear:

{{quote|'''Forbesii:''' "Someone you know, Eustoma?"

'''Eustoma:''' "No, just thinking she looked like someone I knew who passed away."

Line 23:

== Can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a Comic Books folder ==

* The comic book series of [[The X-Files]] had an example of this. Scully was doing an autopsy on a person who died under supposedly miraculous circumstances. A woman and her crippled child came to the hospital and asked to see the body of the "saint."

* The comic book series of ''[[The X-Files]]'' had an example of this. Scully was doing an autopsy on a person who died under supposedly miraculous circumstances. A woman and her crippled child came to the hospital and asked to see the body of the "saint."

{{quote|'''Scully:''' I can't let you in. However, I am going for coffee in a few minutes, and, well, maybe I'll ''forget'' to lock the door.}}

* In the finale of the six-part [[Spider-Man]] story ''The Assassin Nation Plot'', [[Captain America]] and [[Silver Sable]] try to get security clearance for Spidey on a mission they believed would lead them to the mastermind behind the plot, using plans obtained from a captured mook, but a general at the Pentagon wouldn't allow it, as Spidey's identity couldn't be confirmed. Partially through the story, Spidey finds them and told them he believed the plans given were a ruse to distract them; however, Cap isn't able to defy orders to check on that. He does, however, tell Spidey where the mook's cell is, saying "Maybe I'll re-question him later". Then he and Silver leave him alone. (In ''the Pentagon'', no less.) Spidey doesn't know whether that was Cap's way of making an informal suggestion or not, but he take the opportunity, and it pays off.

* In the finale of the six-part ''[[Spider-Man]]'' story ''The Assassin Nation Plot'', [[Captain America]] and [[Silver Sable]] try to get security clearance for Spidey on a mission they believed would lead them to the mastermind behind the plot, using plans obtained from a captured mook, but a general at the Pentagon wouldn't allow it, as Spidey's identity couldn't be confirmed. Partially through the story, Spidey finds them and told them he believed the plans given were a ruse to distract them; however, Cap isn't able to defy orders to check on that. He does, however, tell Spidey where the mook's cell is, saying "Maybe I'll re-question him later". Then he and Silver leave him alone. (In ''the Pentagon'', no less.) Spidey doesn't know whether that was Cap's way of making an informal suggestion or not, but he take the opportunity, and it pays off.

== I want to tell you that this is the Fan Works folder, but I can't, so I won't ==

* In the ''[[Glee]]'' fic [http://archiveofourown.org/series/8386 Story of Three Boys], when [[Original Character|Casey]] is in the hospital following his [[Driven to Suicide|suicide]] [[Tear Jerker|attempt]], a nurse tells Dave, Kurt, Puck and Finn that she can't let them go to Casey or tell them anything specific about his condition because they aren't his parents or legal guardians. She ''can'', however, tell them what would generally happen if some hypothetical patient tried to commit suicide in the way Casey did.

* In the ''[[Glee]]'' fic ''[http://archiveofourown.org/series/8386 Story of Three Boys]'', when [[Original Character|Casey]] is in the hospital following his [[Driven to Suicide|suicide]] [[Tear Jerker|attempt]], a nurse tells Dave, Kurt, Puck and Finn that she can't let them go to Casey or tell them anything specific about his condition because they aren't his parents or legal guardians. She ''can'', however, tell them what would generally happen if some hypothetical patient tried to commit suicide in the way Casey did.

{{quote|'''Nurse:''' If this person weren't breathing, they may have to intubate, but that's hopefully not the case in this hypothetical situation, especially since he was breathing on his own in the ambulance. Hypothetically.}}

* [[Subverted Trope|Subverted]] by [[Axis Powers Hetalia|Austria]] in the second chapter of [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7222164/2/ this] [[Fanfic]]: "I could make a very cruel remark right now.... In fact, I believe I shall."

* Played with in an odd manner (inverted, maybe?) in [http://lparchive.org/Grand-Theft-Auto-San-Andreas-(Screenshot)/Update%2040/ this] ''[[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' fic:

{{quote|''I could lie and say I walked out of there, walked away from her and her crazy death fetish. I could lie and say the sex we did have wasn't fantastic. I could lie and say the next morning when I woke up and she was pressed up against me, that I wasn't as disgusted in myself as I was in her.''}}

* In the ''[[My Little Pony: ~~Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony~~ Friendship Is Magic]]'' fanfic ''To Be A Better Stallion'', Rainbow Dash has a run in with Amethyst, an old friend of Prince Blueblood who happens to be married to one of the Wonderbolts. Amethyst decides to quell Rainbow Dash's disappointment that she's just there on personal business and there's not going to be a Wonderbolts show by telling Rainbow "There's a non-disclosure agreement forbidding me from telling you that you're being considered for a Wonderbolts tryout. So I'm not going to tell you. Because that would be wrong.”

* In the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic]]'' fanfic ''To Be A Better Stallion'', Rainbow Dash has a run in with Amethyst, an old friend of Prince Blueblood who happens to be married to one of the Wonderbolts. Amethyst decides to quell Rainbow Dash's disappointment that she's just there on personal business and there's not going to be a Wonderbolts show by telling Rainbow "There's a non-disclosure agreement forbidding me from telling you that you're being considered for a Wonderbolts tryout. So I'm not going to tell you. Because that would be wrong.”

== Would never say this is the folder for Films of the Animated variety ==

* In ''[[The Incredibles]]'', Bob circumvents his insurance company's obstructive attitude by using this method to help his customers, as demonstrated by the page quote. He even whispers "Pretend to be upset" to the old woman as she leaves.

== Not allowed to say this is for Films of the Live Action variety ==

* Adrian Cronauer ([[Robin Williams]]) does this in ''[[Good Morning Vietnam]]'' with a non-approved news report, and is yanked off the air for doing so.

* Spock's response to the ''Enterprise'' being decommissioned in ''[[Star Trek VI]]'': "If I were human, I believe my response would be 'go to hell'. If I were human."

Line 55:

Line 52:

== I could say this is Literature, but I won't ==

* ''[[Discworld]]'' does this a lot.

** From ''[[Discworld/Wyrd Sisters|Wyrd Sisters]]'':

Line 69:

Line 65:

** [[Discworld/Interesting Times|We have not received an albatross from the Agatean Empire. It is not asking you to send a Great Wizzard.]] Continues with "Don't you mean they're NOT Agatean pictograms, sir?"

** This trope is often subverted when it's tried on Mustrum Ridcully, who's usually too blunt and honest for this sort of underhanded thinking, or Fred Colon, who's merely confused by it.

** Except, however, in [[Discworld/Thud|Thud]], when Vimes goes to Ridcully for assistance in catching up with the bad guys (who have fled town).

** Except, however, in ''[[Discworld/Thud|Thud]]'', when Vimes goes to Ridcully for assistance in catching up with the bad guys (who have fled town).

{{quote|"We certainly would not be able to help you if you were to leave your coaches around the backside of the University at, say, eight o'clock?"}}

** And in ''[[Discworld/The Truth|The Truth]]'' William desperately needs more paper for the Ankh-Morpork Times, but the person selling it has already promised his entire stock to William's rivals and can't very well go back on his word. And speaking of words, he really needs to have one with his foreman, who seems to have left a loaded cart right by that wide-open gate over there where someone could just sneak in and drive off with it...

** It's in ~~the~~ Science of Discworld, too. For various reasons, the wizards need books from the future. The Librarian can get them, but he isn't supposed to. Rincewind talks him into it and translates his answer as follows (paraphrased):

** It's in ''[[The Science of Discworld]]'', too. For various reasons, the wizards need books from the future. The Librarian can get them, but he isn't supposed to. Rincewind talks him into it and translates his answer as follows (paraphrased):

{{quote|"He says he's just going to get the books and pile them up here, ok? And then he's going to leave the room and you're not to look at them while he's gone, because he won't know you're doing it. And if he coughs before he comes back in it'll just be because he has a cough and not for any other reason, ok?"}}

* In one ''[[Animorphs]]'' book, Rachel helps Cassie retrieve a paper she doodled on with things like hearts, "Cassie + Jake," and cupids. The ensuing conversation:

Line 80:

Line 76:

'''Rachel:''' ''(laughs)'' Okay, you're my best friend. So not one word. Especially not "Awww, isn't that sweet?" And definitely not "Cassie is in lo-ove, Cassie is in lo-ove." And no way I'd ever say--

'''Cassie:''' I knew I should have done this alone. }}

* Happens in ''Son of [[Spellsinger]]'', with a local tradesman telling the heroes where the local evil baron has taken their companion. They agree that, as far as anyone knows, they beat it out of him. He pauses occasionally when telling them to say "Ow."

* Happens in ''[[Spellsinger|Son of Spellsinger]]'', with a local tradesman telling the heroes where the local evil baron has taken their companion. They agree that, as far as anyone knows, they beat it out of him. He pauses occasionally when telling them to say "Ow."

* Trumpkin in [[C. S. ~~Lewis|CS~~ Lewis]]'s ''[[Prince Caspian]]'', conceding defeat to Susan in the archery competition. "I know when I'm fairly beaten. I won't even say that the scar of my last wound catches me a bit when I get my arm well back..."

* Trumpkin in [[C. S. Lewis]]'s ''[[Prince Caspian]]'', conceding defeat to Susan in the archery competition. "I know when I'm fairly beaten. I won't even say that the scar of my last wound catches me a bit when I get my arm well back..."

* In [[John Hemry]]'s ''Rule of Evidence'', when Paul Sinclair suggests breaking into a computer in search of evidence, Sharpe, the master-at-arms, huffily declares that his position means that such evidence would be tainted—and elaborates at great length on how he couldn't help. (Such as, he can't tell Sinclair that the contact info for someone who '''can''' break in is on the system.)

* This line from the ''[[Forgotten Realms]]'' novel ''Shadows of Doom'', spoken by an unseen guard:

Line 94:

Line 90:

* The prologue of the Second Part of ''[[Don Quixote]]'' was published after Fernandez de Avellaneda published a [[Fan Fiction]] where he called Cervantes [[Loners Are Freaks|"a man without friends"]] [[Dude, Not Funny|and mocked his broken hand (by a war wound)]]:

{{quote|"God bless me, gentle (or it may be plebeian) reader, how eagerly must thou be looking forward to this preface, expecting to find there retaliation, scolding, and abuse against the author of the second Don Quixote--I mean him who was, they say, begotten at Tordesillas and born at Tarragona! Well then, the truth is, I am not going to give thee that satisfaction; for, though injuries stir up anger in humbler breasts, in mine the rule must admit of an exception. ''Thou wouldst have me call him ass, fool, and malapert, but I have no such intention;'' let his offence be his punishment, with his bread let him eat it, and there's an end of it."}}

* Happens on occasion in [[The Dresden Files]]

* Happens on occasion in ''[[The Dresden Files]]'':

{{quote|"Look, Murph. I specifically agreed to confidentiality for this client. But … if I were going to talk to you, I'd tell you to check out the murder of a Frenchman named LaRouche with Interpol."

Murphy blinked and then looked up at me. "Interpol?"

I nodded. "If I were going to talk."

"Right," she said. "If you'd said anything. You tight-lipped bastard." }}

* In [[Poul Anderson]] and [[Gordon R. Dickson]]'s [[Hoka]] stories, at one point Alexander is called to explain something. He declares that since he is unwilling to accuse officials of having accepted a story produced by a drunken or possibly deranged individuals, he can't explain the story they are describing.

* In [[Poul Anderson]] and [[Gordon R. Dickson]]'s ''[[Hoka]]'' stories, at one point Alexander is called to explain something. He declares that since he is unwilling to accuse officials of having accepted a story produced by a drunken or possibly deranged individuals, he can't explain the story they are describing.

* In [[P. G. ~~Wodehouse|PG~~ Wodehouse]]'s ''Jill the Reckless'', Wally Mason pulls a memorable example on theater manager Groble:

* In [[P. G. Wodehouse]]'s ''Jill the Reckless'', Wally Mason pulls a memorable example on theater manager Groble:

{{quote|"... I'm rather sorry we agreed to keep clear of personalities, because I should have liked to say that, if ever they have a skunk-show at Madison Square Garden, you ought to enter — and win the blue ribbon. Still, of course, under our agreement my lips are sealed, and I can't even hint at it. ..."}}

* [[Poul Anderson]]'s [[Technic History|Nicholas]] [[Intrepid Merchant|van Rijn]] explains how he figured out the nature of some aliens humanity had never encountered before:

{{quote|"And I thought, is the human brain a turtle just because it is armored in bone? A parasite just because it lives off blood from other places? Well, maybe some people I could name but won't, like Juan Harleman of the Venusian Tea and Coffee Growers, Inc., has parasite turtles for brains...."}}

== I'd never say it's Live Action TV ==

* The Fourth Doctor in ''[[Doctor Who]]'', while mocking a [[Bond One-Liner]]: "I suppose you could say the yolk's on him if you were the sort of person who said that sort of thing, which fortunately I'm not."

* Monica in the ''[[Friends]]'' episode "The One With The Butt": "Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the old Monica would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush... But I'm not gonna do that."

Line 115:

Line 109:

* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' has a sketch in which the Pythons apologize for various implied insults they "didn't intend to imply" about politicians... going into extensive detail on just what insults they didn't mean to imply.

** Also did this with another politics-related sketch, involving by-elections.

** [[Monty Python]] did this sort of thing at least partly to send up BBC broadcast restrictions on what you weren't allowed to say about British politicians on the news, as a censorship protest.

** ''[[Monty Python]]'' did this sort of thing at least partly to send up BBC broadcast restrictions on what you weren't allowed to say about British politicians on the news, as a censorship protest.

* ''[[The Daily Show]]'' obviously couldn't stoop so low as to cover Paris Hilton's imprisonment in 2007 - but mentioned that if anyone ''else'' wanted to, a good headline for them to use might be "Shawskank Redemption".

** "I'm not saying Dick Cheney absorbs light. Or that if he were to brush by a plant, that plant would three days later die."

** [http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-10-2006/geraldo-apology "What are you saying, Jon? That Geraldo and O'Reilly are narcissists enthralled with their own overblown egos, projecting their own petty insecurities onto the world around them, inventing false enemies for the sole purpose of bolstering their sense of self-importance, itty-bitty Nixons minus the relevance or a hint of vision? How ~~DARE~~ you?!"] "I wasn't gonna say that, but..."

** [http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-10-2006/geraldo-apology "What are you saying, Jon? That Geraldo and O'Reilly are narcissists enthralled with their own overblown egos, projecting their own petty insecurities onto the world around them, inventing false enemies for the sole purpose of bolstering their sense of self-importance, itty-bitty Nixons minus the relevance or a hint of vision? How ''dare'' you?!"] "I wasn't gonna say that, but..."

** A similar Stephen one, when he reviewed the 2004 Oscars in song: "Oh, are you saying it was a tedious exercise in void-filling, Jon? An industry-wide circle-jerk televised for the wanking convenience of a billion drooling wannabes? The one night people in this town pretend quality matters when each and every one of them devotes the better part of their lives to trying to figure out a way [[Dwayne Johnson|to make The Rock a movie star]]? 'Cause you know what, Jon, you know what, I'm sorry, I don't have a ''song'' for ''that''!" [beat] "Though 'Ice Ice Baby' might work."

* On ''[[Top Gear]]'', Jeremy Clarkson did this as a way of sneakily previewing a car (an Aston Martin V8 Vantage) he wasn't technically allowed to announce yet. The other two presenters played along with a chorus of "I would have really like to hear that" and "Oh, I wish you could have told us that."

* ''[[Stargate Atlantis]]'', in an episode where Ronon is considering leaving Atlantis, has Shepherd saying that he'd tell Ronon that he was a valuable member of the team and it would nigh-impossible to replace him and they'd miss him if he left... but he already knew that, so he wasn't going to tell him.

* A skit by ''[[The Whitest Kids U' Know]]'' uses this trope with their skit in which they say, "It is very illegal to say 'I want to kill the president'. ~~TOTALLY~~ illegal! I'm allowed to say it to tell you not to say it. On that topic, it is also illegal to say, 'I really want someone else to kill the president, and here are some spots where it would be easy to snipe him.' Also TOTALLY illegal! Completely!"

* A skit by ''[[The Whitest Kids U' Know]]'' uses this trope with their skit in which they say, "It is very illegal to say 'I want to kill the president'. ''Totally'' illegal! I'm allowed to say it to tell you not to say it. On that topic, it is also illegal to say, 'I really want someone else to kill the president, and here are some spots where it would be easy to snipe him.' Also TOTALLY illegal! Completely!"

* This happens a ~~LOT~~ in ''[[Yes Minister]]''. Mainly because the [[Obstructive Bureaucrat]]s need to tell each other things that they shouldn't without actually telling them... 'Hypothetical' situations often feature as, on one memorable occasion, did the simple fact that the person Sir [[Humphrey]] wanted to know the PM was talking to was pretty much the only female in the building.

* This happens a ''lot'' in ''[[Yes Minister]]''. Mainly because the [[Obstructive Bureaucrat]]s need to tell each other things that they shouldn't without actually telling them... 'Hypothetical' situations often feature as, on one memorable occasion, did the simple fact that the person Sir [[Humphrey]] wanted to know the PM was talking to was pretty much the only female in the building.

{{quote|Bernard: I absolutely could ''not'' tell you who she is, Sir Humphrey.

Humphrey: ''Thank'' you Bernard! }}

* ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]'', "The Monster at the End of This Book": {{spoiler|A prophet predicts that Sam and Lilith will hook up.}} Dean goes to Castiel for help, {{spoiler|but Castiel says he can't interfere with divine prophecy and Dean is on his own. Just as Dean is storming off, Castiel stops him and adds that the reason he can't help is that prophets are sacred, and should anything, such as for example a demon, threaten harm to a prophet, an archangel will descend with the wrath of Heaven. Dean catches the hint and brings the prophet along to confront Lilith.}}

* On ''[[NCIS]]'', Abby occasionally [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nihdp7YJJo0 resorts to this] when the Director has told her to keep something from Gibbs. After all, sign language doesn't count as ''saying'' anything.

* Francis Urquhart's catchphrase in ''[[House of Cards (British series)]]'' was "You might very well think that, I couldn't possibly comment ". This is later used by his political rival, eliciting an expletive from Urquhart. ~~THE~~ only real expletive Urquhart uses in the entire show, no less.

* Francis Urquhart's catchphrase in ''[[House of Cards (British series)]]'' was "You might very well think that, I couldn't possibly comment ". This is later used by his political rival, eliciting an expletive from Urquhart. The only real expletive Urquhart uses in the entire show, no less.

* ''[[The Unit]]'': the lawyer played by Rebecca Pigeon tells Molly that "I cannot" advise Molly to secretly tape someone to use for blackmail, "as that would be illegal."

* A ridiculous example from ''[[Neighbours]]'', in which Toadie, a lawyer, has to get a message to a friend whose ex-girlfriend has told him not to tell him about her plan to regain custody of their son. He ends up revealing it explicitly with "I can't tell you that..." tacked on. Ridiculous because, a) he hadn't agreed to represent her yet (and made it clear that he wouldn't once he learned who she was) and b) had he actually needed to get around lawyer-client confidentiality, this wouldn't have been enough to get away with it.

* Taylor Swift likes writing songs about [[The Jonas Brothers|douchebags]] who cheat on her and writing their names into songs so they're ashamed to go in public. But she's not gonna talk about that in her [[Saturday Night Live~~|SNL~~]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr99-Hcaziw monologue.]

* [[Taylor Swift]] likes writing songs about [[The Jonas Brothers|douchebags]] who cheat on her and writing their names into songs so they're ashamed to go in public. But she's not gonna talk about that in her ''[[Saturday Night Live]]'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr99-Hcaziw monologue.] Oh no, not her.

* On an episode of ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'', a hotel clerk tells the detectives everything they want to know about a guest in one of her rooms by explaining, at length and with not a hint of irony, exactly what it is she's not allowed to tell them.

** On another episode, the police aren't allowed to speak to a cult member because his lawyer is in the employ of the cult leader. Gee, Danvers and a couple of detectives get around this by going to his cell and talking to each other about how screwed the poor kid is.

* ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]:''

** Giles uses this to deliver stinging reprimands several times, most notably in ''Revelations'': "I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer."

** Giles uses this to deliver stinging reprimands several times, most notably in "Revelations": "I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer."

** Buffy and Willow also plan to steal books from Giles' office in this manner in ''Halloween'':

** Buffy and Willow also plan to steal books from Giles' office in this manner in "Halloween":

{{quote|'''Willow:''' It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.

'''Buffy:''' Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.

'''Willow:''' Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.

'''Buffy:''' Most importantly, [[And That Would Be Wrong|it would be]] ''~~[[And That Would Be Wrong|~~wrong.]]'' }}

'''Buffy:''' Most importantly, [[And That Would Be Wrong|it would be ''wrong''.]] }}

* ''[[Scoundrels]]'': Cheryl asks Hope what her sister is up to. Hope indignantly protests that Wests don't rat each other out... then, when Cheryl gives in, adds, "Which is why I can't tell you to check her underwear drawer."

* On the Sky One production of [[Terry Pratchett]]'s ''[[Discworld/Hogfather|Hogfather]]'', there's this conversation between Albert and Death:

Line 153:

Line 147:

{{quote|'''Auggie''': Okay, I know what I'm supposed to tell you in this situation. I'm supposed to tell you to let Joan run her op. I am not supposed to tell you to go down to the annex and investigate for yourself, and I'm definitely not supposed to tell you that the code for the door is 92762#.}}

* Panelists on ''[[QI]]'' sometimes try to escape forfeits this way - it works ''sometimes'', mostly determined by [[Rule of Funny]].

== I'd say this has Music, but I'm not saying anything ==

⚫

* "The Presidents" by Jonathan Coulton. Ends with "''I don't like to make political statements...''" {{spoiler|and subverts it by remaining silent for the last few beats.}}

⚫

** In a 2008 performance in Seattle (while promoting John Hodgman's ''[[More Information Than You Require]]''), scant days after [[Barack Obama]] won the presidency, he used that space for a cheer celebrating Obama's victory.

⚫

* ~~''[[~~The Presidents~~]]''~~ by Jonathan Coulton. Ends with "''I don't like to make political statements...''" {{spoiler|and subverts it by remaining silent for the last few beats.}}

⚫

** In a 2008 performance in Seattle (while promoting John Hodgman's ''More Information Than You Require''), scant days after [[Barack Obama]] won the presidency, he used that space for a cheer celebrating Obama's victory.

* Roy Zimmerman's ''Impeachment Song''. Consists of a long list of ways that corrupt rulers have been overthrown and killed throughout history, and the refrain is "All I'm saying is impeachment is too good". The last verse makes it clear what Roy isn't saying.

{{quote|I am not advocating

{{quote|''I am not advocating

Any particular course of action

''Any particular course of action

For to do so could be construed

''For to do so could be construed

As a felonious infraction

''As a felonious infraction

So impeach 'em all, I guess }}

''So impeach 'em all, I guess }}

* "The One" by Mary J. Blige. "''I ain't saying that I'm the best, but I'm the best.''"

* "Blasphemous Rumours" by [[Depeche Mode]]:

{{quote|I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours

{{quote|''I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours

But I think that God's got a sick sense of humoor }}

''But I think that God's got a sick sense of humoor }}

== Never said this is New Media ==

⚫

* [[Real Life]] example on the Internet: "In before [[Memetic Mutation|overdone meme]]."

⚫

* [[Real Life]] example on the Internet: "In before ~~{{[~~[[Memetic Mutation]] overdone meme}}]."

** Which, of course, makes "In before X" an overdone meme...

*** In before in bef[[Divide by Zero|OH SHI-]]

* [[The Spoony Experiment]], "Let's Play ''Phantasmagoria''": "I just want you guys to know, in a minute I could make a 'Curtis coming out of the closet' joke, but I'm not going to. Because I'm better than that."

* ''[[The Spoony Experiment]]'', "Let's Play ''Phantasmagoria''": "I just want you guys to know, in a minute I could make a 'Curtis coming out of the closet' joke, but I'm not going to. Because I'm better than that."

* Subverted in [[Zero Punctuation]]'s review of ''[[Clive Barker's Jericho]]'': "I could go on listing the stupid design decisions... ''so I will''."

* Subverted in ''[[Zero Punctuation]]''{{'}}s review of ''[[Clive Barker's Jericho]]'': "I could go on listing the stupid design decisions... ''so I will''."

** Played straight more commonly. Pretty much anytime a game has a lot of [[Ho Yay]] moments, Yahtzee will comment that he won't stoop to making gay jokes.

* In his review of ''[[He-Man and the Masters of the Universe]] and [[She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra]]: [[Christmas Episode|A Christmas Special]]'', [[The Nostalgia Critic]] uses a counter for the gay jokes he could have made but didn't.

* In his review of ''[[He-Man and the Masters of the Universe|He-Man]] and [[She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra]]: [[Christmas Episode|A Christmas Special]]'', [[The Nostalgia Critic]] uses a counter for the gay jokes he could have made but didn't.

* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/pakistani-intelligence-announces-its-full-cooperat,20681/?utm_source=recentnews This story] in [[The Onion]].

* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/pakistani-intelligence-announces-its-full-cooperat,20681/?utm_source=recentnews This story] in ''[[The Onion]]''.

== Those rumors that a [[Tabletop Games]] folder exists didn't come from me ==

* Presumably this is the case with the [[Flavor Text]] of the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card, Spectral Sliver.

== Also didn't say this is Theater ==

== Also didn't say this is [[Theater]] ==

* ''[[Hamlet]]''

** Polonius has a few speeches where he goes on and on about the things he's not going to waste breath saying.

Line 191:

Line 181:

* Also, in [[Shakespeare]]'s ''[[Julius Caesar]]'', Mark Antony incites a crowd to riot and kill Brutus and his conspirators by making a lengthy and eloquent speech about what an ''honorable'' man Brutus is, and claiming that he absolutely didn't want to "stir you up to such a sudden flood of mutiny" like Brutus would, using his superior rhetorical skills, were the situation reversed.

* Shakespeare does it ''again'' in ''[[The Taming of the Shrew]]''. Grumio spends a long monologue telling another servant how he ''could'' tell him all the mad things that happened on Petruchio and Kate's journey, but he's going to take it with him to his grave.

* In [[Gilbert and Sullivan|The Mikado]], Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum are in love, but cannot kiss because Yum-Yum is engaged to Ko-Ko. Instead, they sing "Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted", in which they demonstrate, physically, precisely what it is they won't do.

* In [[Gilbert and Sullivan]]'s ''[[The Mikado]]'', Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum are in love, but cannot kiss because Yum-Yum is engaged to Ko-Ko. Instead, they sing "Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted", in which they demonstrate, physically, precisely what it is they won't do.

== Video Games? How would you know? ==

* There's an entire plot line in the [[BioWare]] RPG ''[[Jade Empire]]'' that's kicked off with a speech exactly like this. Minister Sheng is unable to act against the Lotus Assassins searching for part of the amulet, so he gives the Spirit Monk the key to the dam while pretending that it's an accident.

* During one sequence in [[Knights of the Old Republic]] II, while controlling a protocol droid, you can (and eventually must) convince another droid that it has already violated its "ethics programming". The following ensues:

* During one sequence in ''[[Knights of the Old Republic|Knights of the Old Republic II]]'', while controlling a protocol droid, you can (and eventually must) convince another droid that it has already violated its "ethics programming". The following ensues:

{{quote|'''B-4D4''': "No, there is nothing stopping you from attacking the guards outside with your stun ray."

'''B-4D4''': "Of course, I would be obligated to stop you. Therefore it would be best if I were distracted, say by that console behind you."

'''B-4D4''': "Thank you, T1-N1. Please do not abuse my trust and attack the guards outside, thereby creating [[We Need a Distraction|a diversion]] that will allow me to escape with the stolen files." }}

* From ''[[Planescape: Torment]]'': You go to a wizard who put a spell on a person who now wants it taken off. You convince him to help and he tells you something like: "Alas, I am forbidden to help you. I can't show you ''this'' book, and I am most certainly not going to tell you to go to ''this page'' and figure out what to do." Then he turns around and hums to himself.

* This is a key point in episode {{spoiler|Patient Zero: 3}} in [[Trauma Center|Trauma Team]]: in the third phase of the mission, {{spoiler|the government decides to stop the diagnosis of your patient, and he is ordered not to give any more information.}} To get around this, Gabriel and RONI decide to have a "chat" with their "bud", really getting the symptoms that they need. They even managed to {{spoiler|get a visual exam of his chest after the patient integrates fever into his conversation.}}

* This is a key point in episode {{spoiler|Patient Zero: 3}} in ''[[Trauma Center|Trauma Team]]'': in the third phase of the mission, {{spoiler|the government decides to stop the diagnosis of your patient, and he is ordered not to give any more information.}} To get around this, Gabriel and RONI decide to have a "chat" with their "bud", really getting the symptoms that they need. They even managed to {{spoiler|get a visual exam of his chest after the patient integrates fever into his conversation.}}

* In ''[[Baldur's Gate]] 2'', Jan Jansen uses this trope to insult Anomen.

* In ''[[Baldur's Gate|Baldur's Gate 2]]'', Jan Jansen uses this trope to insult Anomen.

{{quote|'''Jan:''' Anomen, my friend, I realize I've been less than polite with you in the past and I wish to apologize.

'''Anomen:''' Verily, you have played me most false.

Line 210:

Line 199:

'''Anomen:''' Silence before I CRACK YOUR SKULL!

'''Jan:''' Arrogant, drunken, priggish, whiny, pompous are common adjectives used to describe you, but I was wrong to say so. You are completely incapable of independent thought and soil yourself with regularity seldom found outside the nursery. I shall no longer bring these things up in front of the others. }}

* ''[[The Legend of Zelda: The ~~Wind Waker|The Legend of Zelda the~~ Wind Waker]]'' has the "nice girls who never spread rumors" who won't tell you anything even if you pay them rupees.

* ''[[The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker]]'' has the "nice girls who never spread rumors" who won't tell you anything even if you pay them rupees.

* In ''[[Professor Layton and The Spectres Call]]''/The Last Specter, the chief engineer tells Layton exactly what the bad guys are up to, and how to stop them, while claiming he won't say a single word. Luke suspects he's doing this, but it's not clear if it's intentional [[I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You|or not]].

* In ''[[Professor Layton and The Spectres Call]]''/''The Last Specter'', the chief engineer tells Layton exactly what the bad guys are up to, and how to stop them, while claiming he won't say a single word. Luke suspects he's doing this, but it's not clear if it's intentional [[I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You|or not]].

* In [[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]], TEC gives Peach a quiz. The first few questions are of things Peach and the player know already, but soon, he starts asking about Grodus' [[Evil Plan]] as a roundabout way of telling her about it without telling her.

* In ''[[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]]'', TEC gives Peach a quiz. The first few questions are of things Peach and the player know already, but soon, he starts asking about Grodus' [[Evil Plan]] as a roundabout way of telling her about it without telling her.

⚫

== Who told you this has ~~Webcomics~~? ==

⚫

== Who told you this has Web Comics? ==

* Recurring gag on ''[[Questionable Content]]'': "I could make some sort of obvious '[[Who Are You and What Did You Do to X?|who are you and what have you done with the real]] Pintsize' crack, but it'd just cheapen the moment."

* In ''[[Tales of MU]]'', Sooni assures the residents of her dorm that she isn't going to use the protagonist's demonic heritage against her in their floor's election for school Senate. Just a few seconds earlier, she had implied that said half-demon wanted to eat their relatives.

* A variant can be seen [http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/8/16/ here] on [[Penny Arcade]]

* A variant can be seen [http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/8/16/ here] on ''[[Penny Arcade]]''.

* In ''Ellie Connelly'', the title character explains that [https://web.archive.org/web/20110811030802/http://www.ellieconnelly.com/blog-past/comics/chapter_1/index.php?page=13 she didn't hear anything].

* In ''[[Ellie Connelly]]'', the title character explains that [https://web.archive.org/web/20110811030802/http://www.ellieconnelly.com/blog-past/comics/chapter_1/index.php?page=13 she didn't hear anything].

* Dr. Cook of [[SSDD]] [http://poisonedminds.com/d/20060224.html would like to tell you] about the anarchists' suspicious order that they actually paid for (for once), but they signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement.

* Dr. Cook of ''[[SSDD]]'' [http://poisonedminds.com/d/20060224.html would like to tell you] about the anarchists' suspicious order that they actually paid for (for once), but they signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement.

* [http://wapsisquare.com/comic/going-to-let-you/ This] (NSFW) strip of ''[[Wapsi Square]]'' involves Shelly failing to understand that someone is doing this to her.

* In ''[[Vexxarr]]'' Carl [http://www.vexxarr.com/archive.php?seldate=032312 will remember what it refused to remember].

== Did I say Western Animation? Nope. ==

* ''[[The Simpsons]]'', "Bart Star": Milhouse to Bart (paraphrased): "If I wasn't your friend, I'd say you suck."

** Another Simpsons incident that could be argued as a subversion: "Legally, I can't officially promise you a big cash settlement... but off the record, I promise you a big cash settlement."

Line 238:

Line 224:

'''Thomson''': "... or that we'd tell you that General Alcazar is ''mounting a counter revolution'' after General Tapioca re-deposed him..."

'''*both at once*''': "You can forget it!" }}

== I'm not telling you that this is the Other folder ==

* There is a phenomenon (which may merit its own category) called "Kidding on the Square", in which you [["Just Joking" Justification|"jokingly"]] insult or attack someone in a manner which nonetheless makes it clear that you actually mean it. Popularized by Al Franken, among others.

== Why would I say this contains Real Life examples? ==

Line 252:

Line 236:

* [http://www.bash.org/?21516 This bash quote], with added [[False Reassurance]].

* Toughbook's ads saying "Legally, we can't say..." followed by some feature of their mil-spec laptops.

* How Bruce Sterling proved his chops when he spoke at a conference of early computer game developers:

* How [[Bruce Sterling]] proved his chops when he spoke at a conference of early computer game developers:

{{quote|So anyway, you're probably wondering why I'm here tonight, some hopeless dipshit literary author... and when am I going to get started on the virtues and merits of the prose medium and its goddamned wonderful storytelling. I mean, what else can I talk about? What the hell do I know about game design? I don't even know that the most lucrative target machine today is an IBM PC clone with a 16 bit 8088 running at 5 MHZ. If you start talking about depth of play versus presentation, I'm just gonna to stare at you with blank incomprehension...}}

* Charles Francis Adams, the diplomat representing the US to the UK during the Civil War, [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|became a hero to his countrymen]] after writing a note to the British foreign minister, Earl Russell, in which he complained that a Confederate warship being built near Liverpool was about to put to sea without interference, and added: "It would be superfluous in me to point out to your Lordship that this is war." As his son and secretary Henry Adams later explained it:

Line 271:

Line 255:

[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]

[[Category:Truth in Television]]