Curb Your Enthusiasm/Funny

Fuck you, you car wash cunt!
- Boy cock girl cock E I E I O.
The big vagina.
Marty Funkhouser's joke.
Anything Leon says.
- From the last episode of season 8: "Michael J. Fox bout to be Michael J. fucked up in a minute."
Larry being an ass man.
FREAK YOU!
Jeff in a neckbrace: "Larry, you have to tell Susie I was in a car accident!"
From "Ski Lift" Larry's response to the Jewish women telling him he has to jump off the broken down ski lift because she can't be with him after sundown is a stare and "What are you fuckin nuts?"
From "The Car Pool Lane" every scene with the prostitute Monena.
Anytime Susie gets pissed off.
From the ending of the "Bare Midriff" the scene where Larry prevents himself from falling to his death by grabbing his secretary's fat belly.
Larry talking to his reflection.
The following:

Jeff: What happened to you?

Larry: I fell in the toilet.

Jeff: How'd you fall in the toilet?

Larry: I went to go pee and the seat was up.

Jeff: What does that have to do with you?

Larry: I pee sitting down.

Jeff: You pee sitting down?

Larry: Yeah. Have you ever tried it?

Jeff: No!

Larry: It's more comfortable, when you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up, and you get to read.

Jeff: What are you reading?

Larry: I'm reading a lot of stuff.

Jeff: What stuff?

Larry: If I pee twenty times during the day I can get through the whole New York Times for god sake.

Jeff: Twenty times?

Larry: Yeah. Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe I'm learning something!

- And later:

Marty: Why do you pee sitting down?

Larry: Many reasons.

Marty: You crap standing up?

See if this were yours it would say "fucking douchebag".