Everybody Hates Chris/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • This piece of dialogue from Everybody Hates Fat Mike when Rochelle gives Julius a grand chewing out for saying that he does house work better than her which can be found here.

Rochelle: Well, ain't this about a bi-! (crash) Are you crazy?! You do my job for one day (crash) and now it ain't that damn hard?! (crash) You bakin', fryin', (crash) biscuit bakin', pancake makin', bald-headed bastard! (crash) You must think I'm crazy! (crash) You can kiss my ain't that hard a-! (crash) HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!

    • And then what Chris says afterwards:

"And that was my mother's way of letting him off easy."

  • Chris is pretending to be a bad boy to impress a girl. He's confronting a waiter who threatened to throw him out while "Everybody Plays the Fool" plays and his parents walk up behind him.

Rochelle: Chris!
Chris: What?!

To the sound of his heartbeats, we see a black screen, then Chris' Oh Crap face, then a black screen, then Rochelle's angry face, then a black screen, then Chris lying on a bed in the hospital. A nearby X-ray reveals that Rochelle's shoe got stuck in his anus.
  • "Hey mom, can I have some cookie?" No, that's not a typo.
  • When Chris gets a dog, he takes him to a trainer in a Puerto Rican part of town to which he claims is just like Bedstuy just with more Puerto Ricans. "There was a Puerto Rican Killmoves." Cut to Killmoves wrapped in a Puerto Rican flag trying to dance to latin music.