Evil Alien Conquerors

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Earth is...perfectly safe.

Du-ug: Have you any more Smirnoff Ice? Kenny: Yeah, there's half of one in the fridge. Du-ug: You will die painlessly!

My-ik (Diedrich Bader) and Du-ug (Chris Parnell) have come from the planet Kabijj, with simple orders: 1. Conquer Earth. 2. Annihilate all human life.

Their orders are not so much: 3. Develop drinking problem. 4. Fall in love with divorced hussy.

Their plans are complicated by a transmat malfunction, turning their mighty swords into tooth-picks. Nevertheless, they have 24 hours to decapitate every human being on Earth before the overlords send the head-eating giant CROKER!!! to, uh, eat their heads.

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Tropes used in Evil Alien Conquerors include:

• Bizarre Sexual Dimorphism: Inverted. The men look like human males, but the women look...just plain weird.
• Chewing the Scenery: IT WOULD TAKE A THOUSAND OF YOUR TINY MEALS TO SLAKE MY GIGANTIC APPETITE!!!
• Incoming Ham: CROKER!!! stomps into a restaurant, and screams at the diners.
• Incredible Shrinking Man: CROKER!!! is about 50 feet tall, until the same transmat malfunction that shrunk our heroes' swords shrinks him down to about 6 feet. He doesn't seem to notice, though.
• Large Ham: All the aliens are this, but especially CROKER!!!
• No Indoor Voice: Two guesses.