Hamlet/Quotes: Difference between revisions

''[[Kill'Em All|Almost everyone's certainly dead.]]''|'''A. Cinna''', found in ''The Penguin Book of Limericks''}}

{{quote|'''Naomi''': ''Hamlet's basically [[Did Not Do the Research|a teenage]] [[Emo|boy]]. He's [[All Men Are Perverts|got all these desires]], but [[Cannot Spit It Out|he doesn't have the bottle to reach out for them]]. So, [[Love Makes You Crazy|he goes mad]], and [[Wangst|wanks off]] about [[The Ophelia|Ophelia]], and [[Foreshadowing|ends up so boring, somebody has to kill him]]!'' <br />

'''Josie''': ''I'm not sure that's right. There's no wanking in ''Hamlet''.'' <br />

'''Naomi''': ''Yeah, there is. Loads. Only they call it "[[Surrogate Soliloquy|soliloquising]]"''.|''[[Skins]]''}}

{{quote|''[[Wangst|Cheer up, Hamlet; chin up, Hamlet; buck up, you melancholy Dane!]]''<br />

''So your uncle is a cad who murdered Dad and married Mum?'' <br />

''That's really no excuse to be as glum as you've become!''<br />

''So wise up, Hamlet; rise up, Hamlet; perk up and sing a new refrain!''<br />

''Your incessant monologuing fills the castle with'' ennui.<br />

''Your antic disposition is embarrassing to see.''<br />

''And by the way, you sulky brat, the answer is 'to be'!'' <br />

''You're driving poor [[The Ophelia|Ophelia]] insane.'' <br />

''So shut up, you rogue and peasant; grow up, it's most unpleasant; cheer up, you melancholy Dane!''|''[[Slings and Arrows]]'' }}

{{quote|''"Half of what he says means something else, and the other half means nothing at all!"''|''[[Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead]]''}}

{{quote|''I like to think that there's a little Hamlet in all of us. Not that melancholy stuff. Or being a prince. But I've always believed that we should have a little Danish in us. Especially in the morning.''|'''-- [[Leslie Nielsen]]'''}}

I ask to be, or not to be.

That is the thing, I ask of me.

This sullied life, it makes me shudder.

My unc' is boffing my dear mother.

Would I, could I take my life?

Could I, should I, end this strife?

Should I jump out of a plane?

Or lie down in front of a train?

Should I from a cliff just leap?

Could I put myself to sleep?

Shoot myself, or take some poison?

Maybe try self immolation?

To shudder off this mortal coil,

I could stab myself with a foil,

Or slash my wrists while in the bath?

Would it help to end my wrath?

To sleep, to dream, aye, there's the rub.

I'd drop a toaster in my tub.

Would they be happy, with me dead?

Could I murder them instead?

These thoughts take much consideration,

I'm the prince of procrastination.'' }}

For having it off with his mater.

"Revenge Dad or not?"'s

The gist of the plot.

He did -- nine soliloquies later.''|'''Stanley J. Sharpless'''}}

Stick a dagger in his head?

I would not, could not kill the king.

I would not do this evil thing.

I will not wed this girl, you see.

So get her to a nunnery.''|'''Green Eggs and Hamlet'''}}

{{quote|Hamlet's real father is killed by his brother,

Who now becomes king and then marries his mother,

It ends up with everyone killing each other,

And that is the story that's told by the bard!|'''[[Understatement|Abbreviated version]] of the plot by the cast of ''[[Histeria!]]'' in the song "That's the Story that's Told by the Bard".'''}}