Judge Judy/Awesome

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• A woman buys what she thinks is two Nextel cellphones from an EBay seller. The seller sends her a picture on copy paper of the cellphones, and the woman takes the case to Judge Judy. The seller's wife (because the actual seller was too scared to come on) explains they were selling only a picture of a cellphone. Judge Judy proceeds to expose her as a scammer and take her down so hard that she and her husband could never get near a computer again without an extreme case of Internet Backdraft. Judy gave the plaintiff the show's maximum judgment of $5,000 (for two $250 phones!) just because the scam was just that egregious.

Judy to Defendant: Listen to me! I'm older, smarter; if you live to be a hundred and twenty, you're not going to be as smart as I am in one finger. You may weigh more, but you won't be smarter than I am in one finger.

• • It should be noted that the defendant didn't have to pay it however, the production team does, except that the $5000 settlement would have consumed the entirety of the fund for paying the two parties, which means that the defendant received NO payment for appearing, while they would have received a sizable appearance fee. (The show has a "pot." The judgment is deducted from the pot, and the remainder is divided between the participants. If the judgment consumes the entire pot, the loser gets nothing.)
  • Many thanks for posting this. I've never felt the same about this show after discovering that the defendant didn't pay the judgement. It seemed as though they gained from their bad behaviour with an all expenses paid trip to New York, a minimum attendance fee of $1,000 and the show paid their fine. But this, at least, sounds as though they do have some consequences. Not much, but better than nothing. I'd still like to see them genuinely out of pocket though.
• This troper's favorite Crowning Moment of Awesome: The plaintiff and her son sued the defendant for damage to the plaintiff's car caused when the defendant's daughter crashed it. The defendant's daughter was killed in the crash and her mother was visibly devastated, sobbing openly in court. The defendant countersued for her daughter's loss of life. During the cross-examination it was revealed that the plaintiff always left her keys in her car and even allowed her son, who didn't have a license yet, to drive it on their property.

Judy: (to plaintiff) There is something very wrong with you! Because, rather than saying to this lady ... "I can't tell you how terrible I feel that in MY HOUSE, in MY CAR, WITH THE KEYS THAT I LEAVE IN THE CAR, your daughter met such an early death." Instead of saying that, you sue her for the damage to your car! YOU'RE AN IDIOT! Judgment on the counterclaim for $5000, your claim is DISMISSED!!!! OUT!

• Judge Judy had some very harsh words for the defendant in a case involving the cost of a paternity test. The plaintiff had the test done after his ex-girlfriend had told their then six-year-old daughter that she had cheated on him and he might not be her father. After running roughshod over the defendant and her witness, Her Honor awarded the plaintiff both the cost of the test and his lost wages from having to take time off work to have the test.

You're a MORON. You are a MORON. You are an example of why people should have to take tests before they're allowed to have children.