Our Presidents Are Different/Quotes

"Yes, General, I am masturbating into the American Flag. It relaxes me. Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather that I used you?"

—President Callahan, Transmetropolitan

"You can twist my words, but I can twist that knee until it pops!"

—President Ackerman, Red Alert: 3

"Of course the first four years are easy. You don't do anything except try to get re-elected... The next four years you wonder why the hell you wanted to be re-elected. And after that you go into the insurance business and you're all set."

—President Wintergreen, Of Thee I Sing

Cat: I thought you guys said Kennedy was a great Prez!
Kryten: He was.
Rimmer: He was also an inveterate womanizer. His affairs were legendary. They only came out after his death.
Kryten: Every man has his weak spot, his Achilles' Heel.

Rimmer: Kennedy's was just...higher up.

—Red Dwarf, "Tikka to Ride"

"You can lie, you can cheat, you can start a war, you can bankrupt the country, but you can't fuck the interns. They get you for that."

—Stephen Meyers, The Ides of March