Porn Stash/Quotes

Tanabe: Wha... What is this?
Hachimaki: Eh? Never seen a porno mag before?
Tanabe: That's... That's not what I meant! I mean why would we want to take something like that with us in the first place?!
Hachimaki: Because we need it. Depending on the job we get, men and women may be stuck together for days at a time. If we don't take matters into our own hands, it could lead to trouble. Here you go.

* Throws a female oriented copy in front of Tanabe*

Hachimaki:This one's for you.
Tanabe: Uhg!

* Crushes Hachimaki's foot*

—Planetes

Oh, wow! My mother is your biggest fan! She has like, a dozen pictures of you in the drawer by the bed that she thinks I don't know about!

—Elan, Order of the Stick

Helen B. Narbon: Hello? Anyone?
Lupin Madblood: Psst! Narbon! Get in and be quiet!
Helen: Lupin! Are you all right?
Lupin: Indeed. This safe-room is invisible to my security system and independent from the rest of the facility.
Helen: You created a room your own computer can't see?
Lupin: I have secrets, Narbon, from which even Lovelace must be shielded.
Helen: My, what a lot of Hustlers.
Lupin: Yes, well, we're alive, aren't we?

In the living room you'll find a box marked porn...It's not porn, Jon! It's erotica! That's my legacy! It has to go to a library!

—John Oliver, The Daily Show

Katie: What's in the box, James?

James: Fannies! It's full of fannies!

—Skins

Trekkie Monster: In volatile market, only stable investment...is PORN!

—Avenue Q

"Every man in here got a pornography stash in the crib. Not an illegal amount, just enough to get you by! And when we hide porno, we go all out! It ain't behind the refrigerator or under the bed, we become Batman when it's time to hide some porno! You hit the light switch, the whole bookcase shifts to the side, you go down two flights of stairs into your porno cellar! ... But women always find the porno! Always find the porno! But they don't find it in the porno hiding place; no, no, no! Where do they find the porno at? In the VCR!"

—Chris Rock - Bigger and Blacker

Don: (after Sally finds his Porn Stash) Oh, God. Now you think I'm a perv.
Sally: No, I don't! You like to look at naked ladies, that's perfectly normal!

Don: Why yes it is!

—3rd Rock from the Sun