Russian Humour: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

[[Stiff Upper Lip|Tell a joke to an Englishman, and he will understand it, but won't show it.]]<br />

[[Inscrutable Oriental|Tell a joke to a Japanese, and he will understand it his own way.]]<br />

 

Russian humour comes mostly in form of "anecdotes" (anekdoty) - joke stories with a punchline. Typical of Russian joke culture is a series of categories with fixed and highly familiar settings and characters. Surprising effects are achieved by an endless variety of plots and plays on words. The most common characters of Russian anecdotes are the following:

 

* Stirlitz. This is a character from the highly popular Soviet TV series ''[[Seventeen Moments of Spring]]''. The series is about a Soviet spy Maxim Isayev, who infiltrates Nazi Germany under the guise of [[Colonel Badass|Standardentführer]] (see [[Common Ranks]]) Otto von Stirlitz and foils its plans to enter into separate peace treaty with the Allies. Stirlitz interacts with Nazi officials Walther Schellenberg, Ernst Kaltenbrunner, Martin Bormann, Heinrich Müller. In the jokes he interacts with them as well as with fictional female radio operator Kat, pastor Schlagg, professor Pleischner and other characters in the series.

** Stirlitz was walking in the forest and found blue fir trees. He walked further and found that the gay guys were also drinking (the pun is that "blue fir trees" and "the gay guys were eating" sound and are written identically in Russian: "голубые ели").

** Stirlitz had a thought. He liked it, so he had another one.

{{quote| Stirlitz, walking down the corridor, subtly pushed the door of Bormann's office. The door didn't move. Stirlitz stopped, looked around and pushed harder. No effect.<br />

'''Narrator's voiceover:''' [[Door Dumb|Pull, you idiot!]] }}

** Stirlitz opened a door. The lights went on. Stirlitz closed the door. The lights went out. Stirlitz opened the door again. The light went back on. Stirlitz closed the door. The light went out again. "It's a refrigerator," concluded Stirlitz.

** While Stirlitz was driving at 120 m/h, Muller was running nearby, pretending he is not in hurry.

** "I flunked again, Petka. The question was about Caesar, and I told them it's a stallion from the 7th cavalry squadron." / "Oh, sorry about that, Vasily Ivanovich, I had him moved to the 6th!"

**

'''Rabinovich''': Great! Could you tell me where I might get my share? }}

 

** The teacher asks the class to produce a word that starts with the letter "A"; Vovochka happily raises his hand and says "Asshole!" The teacher, shocked, responds "For shame! There's no such word!" "That's strange," says Vovochka, "the asshole exists, but the word doesn't!"

 

'''Holmes''': No, Watson... It's Sir Henry, they're trying to make him eat porridge again. }}

 

{{quote| A Mercedes Benz stops at a traffic light. Suddenly, a Zaporozhets comes from behind and collides with it. Five thugs get out of the Mercedes and drag the driver of the Zaporozhets out. 'Okay, dude, we see now that you don't have any money, so we'll just beat the crap out of you for trashing our car,' they say. The man looks at them and says: 'Wait, boys, isn't it unfair for five people to attack one?' The thugs get together and discuss this for a little, then return to him and say: 'You are right, it is unfair. Here, Kolya and Vova will fight on your side.'"}}

'''Boyfriend''': Uhm.. actually not... but I believe god will help me!<br />

'''New Russian''': Okay, do you have a job?<br />

'''Boyfriend''': No... but... I believe god will help me!<br />

'''New Russian''': Alright, how are you planning to feed my daughter and your children, if you will have any?<br />

'''New Russian''': Well he's kind of a loser, but he is honest and I really like how he calls me. }}

 

"I can't, but I will bite them all!" }}

 

{{quote| A group of Georgians is taking a shower. Suddenly one of them drops the only bar of soap. "Here goes the bathing", says someone.}}

*** Also, widely perceived as buying their way through life (for a Soviet Republic, Georgia enjoyed a good amount of economic freedom and Georgians tended to be rich compared to the rest of the population). At the same time, their adherence to highlander honor was recognised.

"Dear Mom and Dad, my life here is unbearable. I could endure green winter, but when white winter came..." }}

*** An African student met on his turf in an anecdote is likely to be a chief of a [[Cannibal Tribe]].

 

** Russians. Largely self-referential humor, which sets Russian ethnic jokes apart from most others. The Russians are depicted as simple-minded, negligently careless, fond of alcohol but [[Mother Russia Makes You Strong|physically robust]]. Sometimes fatalistic about the general state of affairs.

'''Student''': Yes sir, it would! But that's against the regulations! }}

 

{{quote| The Japanese have bought a license for an advanced Russian jet. They assemble it exactly by the blueprints, and it turns out to be a steam locomotive. They check the blueprints, gather their best engineers and assemble it again. Still locovotive. They file a complain to the Russians, so the Russian team arrives, goes into the workshop and shortly produces a perfectly good jet. The Japanese are astonished: "We've tried it again and again and only got a steam train!" "Why, of course," - reply the Russians - "did you [[Read the Fine Print]]? First you get a steam train. And then you work on it with a rasp."}}

 

'''Headman:''': Indeed. Nor do the potatoes! }}

** "Sadist couplets", forming a good chunk of children folklore but not limited to it. Involves heavy machinery, lost military hardware, [[Ax Crazy]] people, etc. Usually [[Crosses the Line Twice]] in the first two lines and then each next tries to top the previous one.

 

* [[Obnoxious In-Laws|Mothers in Law]].

** A man came home after a business trip. The same day in the middle of the night a naked man with a knife jumps out of the wardrobe and shouts: "I am fugitive criminal Ivanov!" and then run through the door. A few second after that another naked man jumps out of wardrobe and shouts "I am police detective Petrov, have you seen where fugitive criminal Ivanov gone?" The confused husband gestured to the door. "Thank you, citizen, SWAT team, follow me!"

* Political/historical "anecdotes", a venerable genre that descended from anecdotes in the classical sense and was already quite popular in the early 19th century ([[Alexander Pushkin|Pushkin]] was pretty fond of them). Those are mostly jokes about Russian (and later Soviet, and now Russian again) rulers, revolving around their most famous achievements and facts related to them mentioned in history textbooks, famous quotes (such as Lenin's "Communism is Soviet power plus the electrification of the whole country!", often treated as a mathematical formula that can therefore also be written as "Soviet power is communism minus electricity" and so on), other phrases commonly associated with them (like Peter the Great's "cutting a window into Europe") and various "characteristic traits", like Stalin's arbitrary trigger-happiness, Lenin's and Stalin's funny accents, Brezhnev's senility and Yeltsin's alcoholism. Stalin jokes seem particularly popular no matter what, though, probably because he fits the archetype of the smug, whimsical, unrestrained tyrant so very well and also happens to overlap with ethnic jokes about Georgians:

** Supplemented recently with the jokes about the peculiar nature of Putin/Medvedev duo, namely the ambiguous distribution of power between them:

{{quote| Medvedev makes last-minute preparations for a speech. His aid suddenly addresses him:<br />

"Leave them be. These are much needed strings." }}

 

{{quote| ...But of course, he's crazy. Because the REAL [[Napoleon Bonaparte]] is ME!}}

** Well, this is not nessesary funny, because of political abuse of psychiatry in USSR time, nicknames as Карательная психиатрия (punitive psychiatry). Some asylums got funny names, based on word-plays and later influenced internet culture.