Steven Wright/Quotes: Difference between revisions

 

{{quote|I listen to the police band on my CB radio. Once I dialed 911 and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend.}}

 

{{quote|One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blonde Chinese girl. I sat beside her. I said "Hi," and she said "Hi," and then I said "Nice day, isn't it," and she said, "Yeah, I guess." I said, "What do you mean 'you guess'?" She said "I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem." So I asked, "What's the problem?" She replied, "I can't tell you, I don't even know you." I said, "Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus." So she said, "Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... by the way, my name is Diane." I said, "Hello, Diane, my name is Bucky Goldstein."}}