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"Why am I forced to walk the Earth with this conscience? Maybe, if there's such a thing as reincarnation, I can come back down to Earth and just trample all over people without giving a damn about anyone but myself. That would be awesome. That's it -- in my next life, I'm coming back as a conservative." —Mick Foley, The Hardcore Diaries

"My God! You'd be less subtle if you spray-painted 'I hate Bush' on your chest and went in front of the White House naked!" —Linkara on Amazons Attack

"I OPPOSE EVERYTHING" —Protester's placard in Dominion Tank Police

Big Oil (thought bubble): If I let this guy stop the weather, people will stop dying. But oil is made of dead things. That means less oil. Big Oil (aloud): beat it, hippie! Chainsawsuit, "Disastorm" the movie arc.

"I think Michael Moore is stupid! I think Bush is the best president! He is the best president because he has a dog!" —Chip Cheezum, mocking Micheal Weiss during his Micheal Weiss Show MST/Retsuflash

A Conservative Evangelical Christian's Approach To Comparative Religion: Buddhism: Devil worship! Aieee! Shinto: Devil worship! Aieee! Hinduism: Devil worship! Aieee! Voudoun: Devil worship! Aieee! Santeria: Devil worship! Aieee! Judaism: Christ killers! Kill them! Islam: Terrorists! Kill them! Wicca: Witches! Burn them! Catholics: Idolators! Burn them! Mormons: Heretics! Burn them! Unitarians: Heretics! Burn them! Church of Christ Scientist: Heretics! Burn them! Protestants other than my church: Allies until they reveal their heresy, then we burn them!