Talking Weapon: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

[[File:eyelander.jpg|link=Team Fortress 2|frame|[http://www.teamfortress.com/war/demo/04.htm It knows what it wants.] [[Accidental Innuendo|No, not that.]]]]

 

 

[[Tropes Are Not Good|It might get annoying,]] though. If the weapon ''[[Most Annoying Sound|won't shut up]]'', the wielder may feel [[Blessed with Suck]].

 

* The staffs in ''[[Shigofumi]]''.

* Derflinger from ''[[The Familiar of Zero]]''.

* Babbo in ''[[MAR]]'' is a talking flail... or maybe cup-and-ball game.

* Maken Arabuki in ''[[Sengoku Youko]]''.

 

* ''[[Buck Godot: Zap Gun for Hire]]'' has the [https://web.archive.org/web/20150428205457/http://www.airshipentertainment.com/buckcomic.php?date=20070201 Loquacious Lasers, Smith and Wesson], who are the minds behind the Pistol Packin' Polaris Packrat's exploits. Also, presumably Buck's Junior (but he doesn't talk to them anymore).

* The Singing Sword (Sister Blade of [[Excalibur]] of ''[[Prince Valiant]]'') is this trope taken seriously; it sung (probably along the lines of a [[Cherubic Choir]]) whenever wielded by [[Only the Pure of Heart]]. After this, the concept was never taken seriously, ever again.

* ''[[The Helm]]'' features a slight twist on this - as you can imagine, it's the hero's ''helmet'' that talks. And only he can hear it. There's some question as to whether or not he's simply insane, but he reasons that if this were some delusional fantasy his magic talking helmet wouldn't be so mean to him.

* Carvin' Marvin and Tremble from ''[[Knights of the Dinner Table]]''.

 

 

* The Acme singing sword from the movie ''[[Who Framed Roger Rabbit?]]''.

** Which, in addition to being [[No Celebrities Were Harmed|a caricature of Frank Sinatra]], was a [[Shout-Out]] to [[Bugs Bunny/Characters|Bugs Bunny]]'s singing sword in "Knighty Knight Bugs".

* Rare non-fantasy example: the Lawgivers in the ''[[Judge Dredd]]'' film talk to confirm weapon choices and give their status. However, they don't have the sentience of most weapons on this page: Those are just vocal messages.

 

{{quote|"What I'd really like is to be a ploughshare. I don't know what that is, but [[Call to Agriculture|it sounds like an existence with some point to it]]."}}

** There was also Imp/Buddy's harp, which (as the focal point of The Music) didn't talk, but definitely had a mind of its own.

* In the [[Forgotten Realms]] novel ''Elfsong'' Danilo Thann owns a singing sword. He taught it a [[Bawdy Song|song]] about a knight who [[Be Careful What You Wish For|wished]] for a more impressive lance.

** Khazid'hea from the Drizzt novels can speak only telepathically to its current wielder, and often chooses not to do that. It desires to be wielded by the strongest warrior, and is capable of changing the shape of its pommel to make itself more appealing to a new wielder. It angsted for a while over its inability to alter the shape of its blade, since its desired wielder Drizzt fought with a scimitar instead.

* It's more than just a weapon, but the black ka'kari in ''[[The Night Angel Trilogy]]'' eventually becomes fairly talkative, and at one point, it refuses a command. Given that it choses its own master and is supposedly highly intelligent, it seems fairly likely that it's the ka'kari which humors its owner rather than the other way around.

* Craig Shaw Gardner's ''Wuntvor'' books have Cuthbert, a talking sword who's a total coward and wails pretty loudly about all this blood and ichor everyone insists on drenching him in.

* In [[Stephen Hunt]]'s ''The Court Of The Air'', there is a talking sword that is actually wise and generous.

 

* Tommy's sword Saba spoke in season 2 and 3 of ''[[Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]''. He gradually shut up as time passed. ITTRC, he was snarky and British. Definitely snarky, though.

** Carried over from Japanese counterpart ''[[Super Sentai|Gosei Sentai Dairenger]]''.

** ''Den-O'' also has the DenKamen Sword, through which the Taros can speak, and the Denebick Buster, which is Deneb turned into a [[More Dakka|energy machinegun]] and therefore The Gun That Speaks.

** Later ''Den-O'' movies make this Kotaro (New Den-O)'s gimmick; rather than being possessed by the Taros, they turn into Weapons That Speak for him to wield. ''Episode Blue'' shows Urataros and Kintaros turning into a talking [[Epic Flail|fishing rod]] and [[An Axe to Grind|axe]] respectively, and ''Let's Go Kamen Rider'' will add the Momotasword to the mix.

 

* As described in the Blue Oyster Cult song "Black Blade" (based on the ''Elric'' stories, though the sword doesn't talk until after {{spoiler|it turns into a demon}} on the last page of the last story.).

 

* The sword of Kullervo from the Finnish epic ''[[The Kalevala]]'' talks. The sword is not a chatterbox though; it speaks only once and then just before Kullervo is about to kill himself with it, making its point that it enjoys [[Artifact of Doom|drinking blood regardless of whether it's innocent or guilty]]. Otherwise, the sword is unremarkable and unnamed.

* [[Older Than Print]]: The following incident is from [[Irish Mythology]]'s ''Battle of Magh Tuireadh'':

 

 

* ''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'' has rules for intelligent weapons, including how well they can communicate (e.g. starting with simple "empathy" and going all the way to full-blown telepathic powers)... as well as rules for conflicts of wills between weapon and wielder. The stock intelligent weapons described in the manual range all over the power and alignment spectrums... including one sword that is recommended for a deaf swordsman.

** Intelligent weapons in other media based on D&D (R. A. Salvatore's ''[[Forgotten Realms]]'' novels, ''[[Baldur's Gate]]'') tend to break some of these rules because, quite sensibly, they're more concerned with finding a wielder who'll suit their purposes than one who has the same alignment as the rules demand. Thus, Khazid'hea, though [[Evil Weapon|apparently evil and certainly not good]], wants to be wielded by the greatest warrior, ie. Drizzt Do'Urden (at first), who's [[Chaotic Good]]. Lilarcor, on the other hand, who seems to be [[Chaotic Neutral]], doesn't refuse to be wielded by anyone because it just wants to kill things.

*** The rules in 3d Edition noted that it wasn't alignment ''per se'' that triggered conflicts of will between the weapon and the wielder, but rather the purpose of the weapon and the intentions of the wielder coming into conflict. Alignment just tended to be a fair guide to just how much risk there was for those two to diverge.

* ''[[GURPS]]: Thaumatology'' has rules for how intelligent weapons communicate, ranging from simple emotional impressions to mind control.

* A somewhat disturbing example is a soulforged weapon from ''[[Wraith: The Oblivion]]''. Most believe the process of soulforging destroys the consciousness of the victim, but that's small comfort when that fancy new battle-axe starts weeping.

 

 

* Caliburn from ''[[Sonic and The Black Knight]]'', who also serves as an [[Exposition Fairy]] for [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]].

* The Swordians from ''[[Tales of Destiny]]'', who are revealed to have once been people from the past. Or rather, their memories and personality imprinted onto the swords.

* ''[[NieR]]'' has Grimoire Weiss, a talking book that not only serves as Nier's sidekick but is also the one casting his spells.

* The Onyx Blade in ''[[Soul Nomad]]'' talks during the opening sequence due to the [[Sealed Evil in a Can]] trapped inside it. Said evil quickly leaps to the main character in an attempt at [[Demonic Possession]], leaving the weapon silent again.

 

* Torg's magic sword, Chazz, in ''[[Sluggy Freelance]]'', activated in the arc That Which Redeems, and used frequently thereafter. Notable in that it must drink the blood of the innocent for it to speak.

{{quote|"Good morning, Master. Who shall we kill today?"}}

* In ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]'' S.I. (which is euphemism for "AI stupid enough that [[Just a Machine|it's okay to treat it as a disposable device]]") are used in many heavy munitions and advanced personal weapons. [[Stun Guns|M3 incapacitator]] is well within this category, because to be <s>useless</s> guaranteed non-lethal, it needs to identify target species on the fly and consider tactical situation, and often also ''build'' appropriate munitions then and there. It's capable of arguing with the user. When one of "potato guns" was given an enema of milspec [[Nanomachines|nanoassemblers]] and slap from high-powered AI to transform it into a miniature superweapon (capable of hacking ''other'' M3 into [[Attack Drone]]s, among the other tricks), it also became smart enough that now it [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-19 counts as "sapient"] and legally cannot be just turned off. It's evidently sapient enough to choose for itself a new form that isn't ugly. And when they say Captain Landon "have taken a shining to it", you don't need to bother with [[Cargo Ship]]ping - [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-25 they are already flirty].

 

* The axe from ''[[Unforgotten Realms]]'' speaks in a French accent, apparently. It turns out he was originally a lumberjack/wizard who was transmogrified into an axe, then brainwashed so he thought that he'd been an axe all along.

* Destiny's Wave, from the ''[[Whateley Universe]]''. It is the magical weapon of Bladedancer, the Handmaid of the Tao, and is a jade ''jian'' that can cut through pretty much anything. It has the soul of a great woman warrior sealed inside it, and seems perfectly willing to talk to Bladedancer's friends too.

* [http://johnsu.deviantart.com/art/Mountain-Bandit-109099016 Bartow Laughingbones and his "Pretty Betty"]. [[Invoked Trope|Invoked]] in that a wizard hoped it will discourage the guy. But the talking axe not only enjoys "her" work, but turns out to be good company (at least for lonely mountain bandit), so this plan backfired.

 

* Lula the sword from ''[[Dave the Barbarian]]''. Talking weapons show up often in that show. Owning one is treated as akin to dating or marriage—so Lula is understandably upset when one of her old owners turns up (after having carelessly abandoned her years ago), begs her to come back, then gets bored with her and runs off with another sword.

* ''[[Earthworm Jim (animation)|Earthworm Jim]]'' did a parody episode about this. Jim gets a talking sword in a sandwich that claims to have been owned by all the great heroes. Eventually it's revealed that it's never actually done anything significant.

* In ''[[Wakfu]]'', Rubilax is a powerful elemental demon (called a "Shushu") [[Sealed Evil in a Can|trapped inside a sword]]. He's very much of a [[Jerkass]] [[Deadpan Snarker]], regularly belittling his guardian, [[Idiot Hero|Sadlygrove]], and even sometimes trying to possess him. But this is still a hundred times better than letting the demon out of his prison.

* The ''[[Muppet Babies]]'' acted out a fantasy [[Rags to Riches]] story where Piggy had to go on a quest to find a "Singing Sword", which never shut up until she shoved a sock in its mouth... and then wouldn't sing until she told it ''what song'' to sing.

{{quote|'''Piggy:''' [[Breaking the Fourth Wall|Can you believe this?]]}}

* [[Looney Tunes]]: In "Knighty Knight Bugs", Bugs is tasked to retrieve a singing sword.

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Older Than Radio]]

[[Category:This Index Has a Mind of Its Own]]

[[Category:Weapons and Wielding Tropes]]

[[Category:Magic Items Index]]