Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

  • Arguably the first Crowning Moment of Funny on Talkradar was the initial appearance of Duke Lombardi, in episode 15. A man who exclusively reviews E for Everyone rated video games, using a complex hat-based rating system (they're really nice hats), while Baker Street plays soothingly in the background, was a stroke of genius. While later appearances varied in the laugh-factor, the first visit will always be a piece of Talkradar history.

Duke: "Duke Lombardi here to review everybody's favorite game on the guys can't seem to get enough, of the Ahnimul Crossin am I right?"

Mikel: "Yeah...that's seems about accurate."

Duke: "You in particular Mister Olston, seem to love the Ahnimul Crossin."

(baby laugh sound effect plays)

Duke: "I dunno what the fuck that's about..."

Mikel: "So what've you got for us Duke?"

Duke: Today I'm gonna be takin a look at my favorite game, FUGGIN AHNIMUL CROSSIN. Ya see, Ahnimul Crossin is like a dual layer DVD made of ice cream and pressed hair. It comes smothered in A1 Steak Sauce and it's served alonside the severed head of Tom Nook's motha. Which that has been fried up in such a way, as to continually stare into your soul and ask...WHY? Is that good? Ahnimul Crossing? Everybody got it?"

Brett: "You're sweating an awful lot..."

Duke: Oh excuse me...dab dab...dab dab's then left to finely age in a mass grave, until such a time as an ancient and powerful moomy, that's mummy, is attracted to its dark aura. Then you pick apples! Or pull up beets, it's up to you. This is a wonderful game for children and the emotionally distraught, alike, I give it 8 outta 5 hats!"

Brett: It just sounds like Dr. Girlfriend!

Duke: DR. GIRLFRIEND?! Well, I'm fuckin offended. Wish I had a zipper sound effect, lemme take this out right now...

(sound effect of shattering glass)

Duke: "That is all man my friend..."

Brett: "You broke your glass pants!"

  • While Duke was the first and quite hilarious, he was but a warm-up act for the Norwegian King of Names, first appearing in episode 49. Inspired by a real life story of a Norwegian child's requested name change (to Sonic X), which was denied by the king himself. The King of Names, in the voice of James Mason from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, has the power to change the names or deny the changing of names to any person, place or thing. A relatively simple concept, but it brought both the hosts and the listeners, to tears.

King: "Please request a name Shane Patterson, from a video game..."
Shane: "...Roxas."

King: "Roxas...The King..."

Shane: "Roxas Reparaz!"

King: "Approved! Your name is now Roxas, Shane Patterson...Brett Elston, would you like to bring forth a name at the knees of the king?!"

Brett: "Sir...sir I would love to be known as Amiga KK Slider!

King: "KK SLIDER! The king mulls it over over with great thought...YES! ("magical" sound effect plays) You have become KK Slider!"

Shane: (laughing) "Is the king a wizard as well?!"

King "Yes, king of cartoons! Mikel Reparaz, what would you like your name to be?!"

Mikel: "I should like to be known henceforth as...47.

King: "47! Timothy Olyphant...considering it...(buzzer sound effect), I'm going to need another try, Mikel Repraraz...give me one more name..."

Mikel: Uh...Liu Kang!

King: "That is the name this king has ever heard! You...are now Liu Kang Reparaz!"

King: "Of...Cheeseville...henceforth known as..."
Shane: "As Bonertown..."
King: "BONERTOWN! You are no longer Minneapolis...henceforth you will be known as Bonertown..."
Brett: (everyone laughing) " fucking face hurts..."