Teen Wolf (TV series)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Scott and his mom:

Mrs. McCall: It's not like you're on drugs, right?
Scott: Like, right now?
Mrs. McCall: "Right now?" Have you ever been on drugs?
Scott: Have you?
Mrs. McCall: ...Get some sleep.

  • Stiles and the McCall family baseball bat, from "Pack Mentality"

Stiles: AAAHH!! DO ANY OF YOU EVEN PLAY BASEBALL?

  • Allison's bowling advice, from "Pack Mentality"

Allison: You're thinking too much. You need to put your mind on something else. Think of me... naked.

    • Which actually works, since it raises his heart rate, allowing his wolf senses to kick in.
  • Stiles on his status as a sidekick, from "Pack Mentality"

Stiles: "Why is it starting to feel like you're Batman and I'm Robin? I don't wanna be Robin all the time!"
Scott: "Nobody's Batman and Robin ANY of the time."
Stiles: "Not even some of the time?"

  • Scott talking big to Jackson:

Scott: "I am great at bowling.
(cue Gilligan Cut to the hallway)
Stiles: "Scott, you're terrible at bowling!"

  • Basically, everything between Derek and Stiles during "Magic Bullet."

Stiles: I don't think you should be barking orders with the way you look. In fact, I think that if I wanted to I could probably drag your little werewolf ass into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.
Derek: Start the car or I'm going to rip your throat out...with my teeth.

  • Alison getting her Aunt Kate off Scott's back, by showing her and her dad a condom. The looks on everyone's faces are pretty priceless.
  • Stiles and Danny:

One more question.
What?!
Do you find me attractive? (Danny remains silent. Stiles leans forward waiting for an answer and falls out of his seat.)

  • Stiles' voicemail death threats:

I'll kill you. Do you understand me? I'm gonna kill you. And I'm too upset to come up with a witty description about how exactly I'm gonna kill you, but I'm just gonna do it, ok? I'm gonna, grr, goodbye.

  • Stiles, after identifying wolfsbane before Scott:

Stiles: Haven't you ever seen the Wolfman?
Scott: ...No
Stiles: *Sighs* You're so unprepared for this.

Derek: You've got to be kidding me.

  • Stiles introducing Scott to quite a lot of pain and torment in episode six, by use of Lacrosse Balls and a small angry mob. While proceeding to stand there observing things. For SCIENCE!

"Dude! What are you doing to that guy's car?!"

  • From "Lunatic":

Mrs. McCall: (hears someone enter) Scott?
Stiles: (comes through the front door) Stiles.
Mrs. McCall: (notices something in his hand) Key.
Stiles: Yeah, I, uh, had one made.

  • Most (If not all) of Derek and Stiles interaction in "Wolf's Bane".
    • Especially when Danny shows up.

Danny: You're a horrible person.
Stiles: I know, it keeps me up at night.

    • And in the car in front of the hospital.

Derek: Oh, and one more thing. (slams Stiles' head into the steering wheel)
Stiles: Oh, holy hell, what was that for?!
Derek: You know what that was for, now go!

  • When the sheriff pulls over Allison:

Allison: I'm sorry I was going so fast...
Sheriff Stilinski: You weren't going that fast. Just, uh, 75 in a 25,in a construction zone ...

  • "I told them I'd cut off my one remaining testicle before I'd cut you!"
  • Scott's quick thinking to get Coach Finstock off his neck at the dance: When the coach sees him there after having told him that he was not allowed to go, Scott quickly grabs Danny and dances with him, making the Coach's Angrish look like homophobia to the rest of the students. Finstock quickly backs off.
  • Stiles refusing to say "I told you so" in "Formality." Because it's not enough.
  • The Alpha makes Stiles get into Scott's account.

Alpha: His user name is 'Allison'? *beat* His password is ALSO 'Allison'?
Stiles: Still want him in your pack?

    • The expression on the Alpha's face afterwards should also count
  • Peter's explanation about what will happen if Lydia turns:

"Once a month she'll go out of her freakin' mind and try to tear me apart."
"Well actually, considering that she's a woman, twice a month."

  • Lydia's AWOL and Scott and Stiles think she's turning. They bring this up to Jackson, and...

Scott: We think she's turning.
Jackson: Turning... into...
Stiles: A unicorn. What do you think, dumbass?
 

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