The Baby Stompers/Awesome Music

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Okay, let's get it out of the way here: all of The Baby Stompers' music is awesome. Having said that, here are the undisputable highlights:

  • "Stomp". Brutal, crushing, loud, awesome riff. Jacob is one hell of a composer.
    • The original version from the Stomping the Baby Demo" has a certain quality given to it by its rawness and abrasiveness. It's like all the good from St. Anger mushed together... and then extended a couple of minutes.
    • Having said that, from an objective position, the final version is higher quality: heavier and with a thicker sound.
  • "forbsey freestyles". This song has a crucial, indefinable element distilled from the catchy jazziness and the vocals of a man who is unaware he is being recorded. Quoting this song is inexplicably awesome. The mere fact that this song works to such a degree (i.e. at all) is a testament to its indefinable appeal.
  • "The Joy Of Masturbating" is just so fun, bouncy and irresistible. And the moans and the title of the song make it repellent yet somehow appealing. A brilliant song.
  • "Ben, Fuck" is "so fucking brutal". A rock song, through and through, with a hilarious rant against Ben and a brilliant stinger at the end: "Fuck, Ben."
  • "Mowing the Lawn". Funky, fun and with increasingly ridiculous and hilarious lyrics. Culimnates in a legendary Crowning Moment of Awesome:

Fuckin' cancer. Mowed that bitch out. ...ain't comin' back. It's gone!

  • "Acid and Party (feat. Dylan C)" is a brilliant ride that conjures up images of epic battles. Like Dragon Force (video game), only good. The Shout-Out to Super Mario Bros. is brilliant and makes you grin before an utterly brutal breakdown met later by the tapping equivalent of Psycho Strings.
  • F16 is just awesome, containing some of the best lines in all of The Baby Stompers' discography. From the legendary "... fuck!" to other brilliant quotes like "Off me lawn", "Take it like a real man, woman!" and "I ejaculate on violins".
  • "Family Values" is the epitome of a Baby Stompers song, with the entire band having vocal credits, as well as several others.
  • "Real Men Cry (Girl Cum In Me Arsehole)" is a really funky bluesy song that uses ambient vocal editing and the shit vocal quality to excellent use, especially with the falsetto wailing. Full of classic lines such as the alternate title, shouted apropos of... very little.

I love wankin' the ladies.
I fist their buttholes.
Girl cum in me arsehole!

    • Excellent further examples include "It's about... themes and- and fuckin' dragons and trolls and shit", "Goin' fishin... you're the bait" and the gurgly falsetto scream: "Aaaaaaaaaaaah... Aw, fuck!"
  • "That's Gravy, Dick", in a similar vein to F16, is a constant stream of brilliant quotes.
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