The Baby Stompers/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Ted! Stick your big dick up my arsehole! Ted! It's bleeding... ah... So painful...

  • Cow Dick: "Fish clitoris!"; "Fishy minge!"; "I rape a dog. Because I listen to country."; "Racist vulva"; "Anal. Stimulation.; "That's a cow dick!"
  • I Wanna Lay You Down By the Fire and Make Sweet Love to You While I Lovingly Caress Your Nipples contains a sustained CMoF where the band casually discusses whether the microphone is recording or not.
  • The rant against Ben in Ben, Fuck:

"Fuck off, Ben. Close the fuckin' door, ya dirty gib. Fuckin' hell, you were born in a fuckin' tent.

    • Then, at the end of the song:

Fuck, Ben.

  • The only way to do justice to the glory of Mowing the Lawn, which named the entire genre of mowcore, is to quote the lyrics in their entirety.

My fuckin' ceiling fan broke. So I just stuck a fuckin' mower in the roof.
Fuckin' tumble dryer broke. Mowed those cunts dry. Sure they're in a thousand fuckin' pieces. But at least they're dry, I mean...
Vacuum broke. Fuckin' mowed me carpet, cunt.
Smoke damage on the roof. Mowed the smoke damage off. Raw plaster, thank you very much. ...although there was probably asbestos. So I might have to mow the lung cancer out when it finally arrives.

Asbestos in the plaster. Mow that shit out.

Couldn't afford to get circumcised. Just fuckin' mowed me foreskin off.

Didn't know the petrol ratio. Fuckin' couldn't mow me lawn...

Fuckin' blender broke. Get the mower out, cunt.

Fuckin' shaver broke. Mowed me pubes off.

Need a haircut. Get the fuckin' mower goin'.

Girlfriend wouldn't make me a fuckin' sandwich. Mowed that cunt's face off.

Fuckin' cancer. Mowed that bitch out. Ain't coming back... It's gone!

... bitch.

  • The opening '... fuck!' in F16.
    • "I ejaculate on violins". WTF?
    • "Take it like a real man, woman!" Awesome :D
    • "Aw, get some toilet paper, my anus is bleeding, oh shit!"
    • "There's blood everywhere!"
    • "I told you to use lube!"
    • The last part of the song, with a male voice complaining about anal bleeding while a male in bad falsetto wails in a not-very-background way, all over soothing blues.
  • DickAstley starts hilariously and stupidly, but when the first verse begins and the drums drown out the actual song it's just so over-the-top it's hilarious.
  • Pretty much all of Family Values. Especially the title.
  • As well as being one of the best songs, "Real Men Cry (Girl Cum In Me Arsehole)" features some excellent one liners, such as the introduction to the song ("This is a song... by Ted. It's about... themes, and- and fuckin' dragons, and trolls and shit"). Later, the same singer also remarks "I hate you Ted... fuck off", echoing brilliantly the end to "I Wanna Lay You Down By the Fire and Make Sweet Love to You While I Lovingly Caress Your Nipples", "Fuck off Ted, I hate you".

"I love wankin' the ladies."
"I fist their buttholes."
"Girl cum in me arsehole!"

    • Other great moments include the lines "Fuckin' cry tears of a real man... cunt.", "Goin' fishing... you're the bait..." and the weird-sounding ambient wailing, culminating in creepy laughter and a final high gurgly scream ending in "... oh, fuck!"