Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: Difference between revisions
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== The List == |
== The List == |
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* I will not call Lucius Malfoy [[Labyrinth|"Jareth"]]. |
* I will not call Lucius Malfoy [[Labyrinth|"Jareth"]]. |
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* Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross. |
* Calling Lucius Malfoy "[[Sluggy Freelance|Luscious]] Mouthful" is just plain gross. |
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* Adding the name [[Ferris Bueller's Day Off|"Bueller"]] to Professor Binns' roster is not funny. |
* Adding the name [[Ferris Bueller's Day Off|"Bueller"]] to Professor Binns' roster is not funny. |
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* I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Lord Voldemort. |
* I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Lord Voldemort. |
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* "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan. |
* "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan. |
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* I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute. |
* I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute. |
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* Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters. |
* Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not [[Sluggy Freelance|use guns against the Death Eaters]]. |
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* Telling Luna Lovegood that ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' is a documentary is an unkind thing to do. |
* Telling Luna Lovegood that ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' is a documentary is an unkind thing to do. |
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* If Professor Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to refuse by replying, [[The Three Little Pigs|"Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"]] |
* If Professor Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to refuse by replying, [[The Three Little Pigs|"Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"]] |
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* First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. |
* First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. |
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* I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is. |
* I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is. |
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* I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine". |
* I will stop asking when we will learn to make [[The Clovers|"Love Potion Number Nine"]]. |
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* I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing. |
* I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing. |
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* I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. |
* I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. |
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* I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey. |
* I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey. |
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* I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas. |
* I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas. |
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* I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl. |
* I will not offer to prepare [[Sluggy Freelance|tandoori owl]]. |
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* [[The Producers|''Springtime for Voldemort'']] is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play. |
* [[The Producers|''Springtime for Voldemort'']] is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play. |
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* When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout [[Highlander|"There can be only ONE!"]] |
* When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout [[Highlander|"There can be only ONE!"]] |
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* I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as [[Monty Python and the Holy Grail|"Tim the Enchanter"]]. |
* I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as [[Monty Python and the Holy Grail|"Tim the Enchanter"]]. |
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* I am not allowed to [[Locked in a Room|lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet]] to see if [[Ho Yay|hot gay sex will occur]]. |
* I am not allowed to [[Locked in a Room|lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet]] to see if [[Ho Yay|hot gay sex will occur]]. |
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* I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand. |
* I am not allowed to make [[Star Wars|lightsaber]] sound with my wand. |
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* I am not allowed to paint the house-elves blue. |
* I am not allowed to [[Avatar (film)|paint the house-elves blue]]. |
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* I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor. |
* I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor. |
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* I am not allowed to set up a first year on a blind date with Moaning Mrytle. |
* I am not allowed to set up a first year on a blind date with Moaning Mrytle. |
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* And lastly, I will not use a time turner to go into the past and seduce my father, thereby ceasing to exist, which means I could not have gone into the past and seduced my father, which means I do exist, which means I can go back and . . . oh, nevermind. |
* And lastly, I will not use a time turner to go into the past and seduce my father, thereby ceasing to exist, which means I could not have gone into the past and seduced my father, which means I do exist, which means I can go back and . . . oh, nevermind. |
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[[Category: |
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]] |
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[[Category:Just for Fun]] |
[[Category:Just for Fun]] |
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[[Category:Literature]] |
[[Category:Literature]] |