All Men Are Perverts/Quotes

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Lana: Stuporman...!! What do you think you're doing?
Superman: Hey, I saved your goofy kid's life, remember?!? So what say we do some "huffing" and "puffing" in earnest... huh...??!
Lana: I thought you were different from the other horny guys in this town!

Superman: I am! I'm SUPER horny!

—Mad Magazine's parody of Superman III

Torg: SAM! HELP! SAM!!!
Torg: SAM! SAM, HELP! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!
Torg rips the vampiress's top.
Torg: HELP! NAKED-VAMPIRESS-WARDROBE-MALFUNCTION!
Sam crashes through the wall

Sam: Sampire to the rescue!

—Sluggy Freelance

<+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn
<+Radial> i can't tell...
<Tsukari> Are you a male?
<+Radial> i am

<Tsukari> She knows.

—bash.org #606023

Six months of all encompassing fantasies involving life-size cutouts of a Swedish bikini team and a turkey baster? How bad could that be?

The condition is experienced by a very small portion of the population, and of those the vast majority are male. We'd like to pretend to be shocked by that fact, but really who are we kidding?

—Cracked on paraphilia, one of 5 Bizarre Sexual Conditions That Can Ruin Your Life

Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.

—Larry Miller

"Its funny how a man only thinks about the BEEP. You got a real big heart but I'm looking at ya BEEP. You got real big brains but I'm looking at ya BEEP. Girl it ain't no pain me looking at ya BEEP."

—The Pussycat Dolls, BEEP

If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house.

—Dave Chappelle

Now, I don't wish to imply that I don't care about sex or think about it. Hell, if I dedicated all the time I spend thinking about sex to, say, learning Italian, I would've been fluent by the end of the seventh grade. Dustin Eddlebeck, on the other hand, is just plain sick.

—Leon Harris, How to Get Suspended and Influence People

Miti: I'm no simulating the lust you are feeling. It is the raw lust of the gangbangers.

Sheliss: Those humans want to fuck me?

—The Night When Evil Falls

Danbei Makiba: "Not matter what, all men are wolves".

—UFO Robo Grendizer

It's true. Guys don't need a relationship as long as they're having sex.

And women don't need sex... as long as they're having chocolate!

—Comedian Glen Foster