Anita Blake/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Despite all that shark-jumping, the series is ripe with funny moments:
    • From Burnt Offerings:

Richard: You are such a bitch.
Anita: Woof, woof.

    • From Circus of the Damned:

Anita: I'm too chesty for a six and they don't make six and a halfs.
Richard: Chesty, woo woo.

    • A pretty good Anita one-liner: "When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons."
    • Pretty much anything out of Jason's mouth tends to go in this direction. Zerbrowski too.
      • Taken Up to Eleven in Cerulean Sins when the two of them meet for the first time. It is by far the funniest moment in the entire novel and possibly the series itself.

Jason: Ah, the friend speech. It cuts so deep.
Zerbrowski: Tell me about it. I've been trying to get into her pants for years, but she just won't come across.
Anita: (glares at both of them) Stop it.

    • In Blue Moon, Anita and Richard are in Tennessee where Richard had been trying to help a friend save a colony of forest trolls from being exterminated. The man who wanted to buy the property, named Niley, met them at a diner to discuss things. Naturally, he had them patted down in the bathrooms to make sure they were unarmed and Niley tries to convince Richard to give up his plight. While he's making an offer, this happens:

Richard: (he leans and whispers in Anita's ear) Are you running your foot up and down my leg?
Anita (confused) No.
Richard: (scoots his chair away from Niley)
Niley: Why, Richard, I'm disappointed. I thought after that tete-at-tete in the mens' bathroom, we were friends.
Richard: (blushes like hell)

    • In one of the earlier books, Edward was called to murder Anita but decided not to take the job because he'd get to kill more people protecting her. She had to meet him at Circus of the Damned wearing a rather Stripperiffic outfit for a cerimony and this happens:

Edward: I can't let you die. All the other assassins will make fun of me.
Anita: I can't imagine anyone making fun of you, Edward.
Edward: They would if I dressed like you.