Archer/Funny
- Skytanic: "'B,' as in 'butthole,' and 'M,' as in 'mancy!'"
- And the following meta gem:
Lana: CAPtain LAMMers!? |
- I call Him Fister Roboto.
- And the best thing is he's learning.
- Most of Krieger's lines while he's avoiding work in "Skorpio":
- "I'm sorry, your authority is not recognized in FORT KICKASS!"
- "I guess I was too busy fantasizing about Archer and Lana having intercourse!!!"
- "The secret ingredient is phone."
- "Get him out of here, because these corporate bag-munchers owe me six hundred and thirty dollars for my goddamn FLEX ACCOUNT!"
- Krieger and LSD. That is all.
- Pam acting Jamacian.
Racist. |
- Mandingo 2: The Enslavening
- Krieger's virtual girlfriend and the Planet of the Apes reference right after said "girl" is on-screen.
- Lana? Lana? Lana? LAAAANAAAAAA!
- WHAT?
- Danger Zone
- Small Miracles
- 'Dungeness' Crab? Because we're in a dungeon? I'm kidding, crab rangoon
- Small Miracles
- Danger Zone
- WHAT?
- The episode where Pam is kidnapped. Archer talks with the kidnappers talking on a voice modulator, and hangs up because he thinks they're cyborgs. Then, Cyril kidnaps Cheryl and tries to hold her for ransom...when Lana walks in on him. he pretends to have phone sex. And then we hear it modulated. Mallory then traces the call...to Cyril's office and runs off after Lana and says, "They were calling from this floor!"
- "Immigrants, that's how they do y'know! Driving around, blasting all the raps and shooting all the jobs!"
- "Immigrants, with their lowriders, full of free healthcare and snow.
- "Why was I dressed as Hitler?"
- "Why was he dressed as Hitler?"
- "How hard is it to poach a goddamn egg?...Seriously, Woodhouse, that's like Eggs 101."
- Another Danger Zone reference. After Conway gets away, stabbing Archer in the back (literally) in the process, as Lana's informing him:
Lana: Whoever he is, he ghosted an ID file onto our world-wide database. |
- "I've never seen an ocelot! . . . Holy shit, you guys, look at his little spots! . . . look at his tufted ears!"
- Krieger's explanation as to why he can't shut down the computer.
Malory: Just turn off the mainframe. |
- "Rampage!"
- "Shoot! Shoot, bitch! DEMOCRACY IS AT STAKE!"
- And later:
Archer: Oh my god, you killed a hooker! |
- In "Honeypot" this exchange between Mallory and Major Jakov:
Mallory: Wait, you set this whole thing up so I would have to move in with you and your mother?! |
- "Hey, it's not my fault the Pope won't let me wear a condom!"
Malory: Well why don't you wear a vasectomy? |
- Archer's treatment of the man smoking the cigar in "Skytanic."
"Hey! What are you doing?" (slap) "Here!" (stuffs a wad of money down his throat) "Go buy a nicotine patch!" (shoves him off his feet) |
- Archer's inadvertent taunting of Barry after having sex with his girlfriend in "Job Offer".
Archer: Seriously, I must reek of her. Here, can you smell her on me? |
- "It's only you that beats you, buddy."
- "Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage!"
- Krieger's van.
Mallory: I swear, if anyone saw me in this awful van.... |
- When Archer is trying to teach Cyril how to be a secret agent:
Cyril: But when would you use an underwear gun? |
- When Gillete and Lana are on a rented boat going to rescue Archer, Gillete is getting a manicure from a man-servant.
Gillete: Look at him! He is lithe. You know they asked if I wanted to buy him outright. But then I thought ... |
- Malory's increasingly defensive remarks re: moving and leaving Archer alone on Christmas
Malory: Eve! It was only Christmas Eve. |
- Archer interrogating the Irish mob about fake cancer medication in the style of a Family Feud-like show. Only the bad answers are awarded with a shotgun blast to the kneecap.
- That whole scene was priceless. From "these potato heads are the unsexiest mob ever" to whether or not the Honduran janitors can speak spanish.
Archer: Lana, I'm in love with you |
- "Krieger-san! You promised!!" A Brick Joke and near-throwaway line in the Season 2 finale, when Krieger's "virtual girlfriend" inexplicably returns. The Funny Moment is from watching "Tragical History" earlier in the season, when we learn that the virtual girlfriend was so lifelike that the state of New York allowed Krieger the right to marry "her". This plan was halted (for now) when Lana smashed Krieger's projector, so it was a big surprise to see her "return".
- Malory talking to Lana and Pam about her mammogram results, and how there might be something there. She then asks them not to have it spread around the office...only for Pam to be texting the office already. She states that gossip is like a disease, and returns to texting, only for Malory to call her out again. Pam asks if she knows what "disease" means, then remembers she might have breast cancer. Refuge in Audacity even for this show.
Malory: The last thing I need is this spreading like...Pam, what the hell! |
- Cyril sneaks onto the Skytanic because he is concerned about Lana cheating on him with Archer. Meanwhile, Archer and Lana are arguing about their genitals.
Lana: "Unkempt bush!? My vulva is as smooth as a veal cutlet!"
Lana: And what incredibly horrible timing. |
- A naked Carol, and near naked Gillete rolling into Mallory's office, after a really bad experience with a urine test cheating drug.
Carol: That’s our pee and that’s the last I better hear about it because this stupid building is a tinderbox, and I will burn it to the ground. |
- "BABOU, SERPENTINE!"
- At the very end of "The Limited," after the ocelot pissed on Archer's torn and bloodied suit:
Archer: "No, Babou. That was all sarcasm." |
- "Lo Scandalo." The dinner party. All of it.
- "Well, hello there, game changer."
Archer: How did you get so good at that? |
- There's a version of the pilot episode on the DVD where Archer is replaced by a velociraptor. Its exactly as silly as it sounds.