Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Batman (1960s TV series)

  • In the episode "Nora Clavicle and the Ladies' Crime Club", Batman, Robin and Batgirl are playing a flute to guide technicolor mice to the sea Pied Piper style.
  • Robin tripping on incredibly obvious tripwire trap which is even marked.
  • Batman having a conversation with Bruce Wayne.
  • In one of the Riddler's appearances, he is seen toting around a sack full of ill-gotten gains which is helpfully labeled "LOOT SACK".
  • The constant labeling of things in general. Batman mentioning that Penguin must have the supplies for a specific heist in his "criminal storehouse". Cut to Penguin (listening in via bugged umbrella) sending his minions to fetch said supplies...from a room labeled "CRIMINAL STOREHOUSE".
  • Large Ham King Tut madly screams his dialogue to the ear of one of the beautiful mute Living Prop slave girls of his harem. She tries her best to do not change her indifferent expression.

Batman: The Movie (1966)

  • Some of the Bat Deduction is ridiculous to the point of hilarity.

Batman: What sits in a tree, weighs six ounces, and is very dangerous?
Robin: A sparrow with a machine gun!

  • Also:

Batman: What has a yellow skin and writes?
Robin: A ballpoint banana.
Batman: Precisely!

  • Batman at a wharf trying to get rid of a Cartoon Bomb, finding nowhere to dispose of it without running into things like a marching band, a woman pushing a baby carriage, and nuns. Batman in frustration:

"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb!"

  • Batman and Robin deploy a gadget called bat ladder which is like any normal deployable ladder but with a sign saying "BAT LADDER" at the end of it.

Batman (1989 movie)

  • Jack Nicholson's Joker has plenty of his own funny moments, but his reaction to the Batwing whisking away the Smilex gas-dispensing balloons is priceless: "HE STOLE MY BALLOONS! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things?" He promptly asks his right-hand man for a gun—and shoots him.

Joker: Bob. Gun. *bang!*

  • Joker's commercial for "THE NEW JOKER PRODUCTS!" The whole thing is hilarious.
    • Followed by the newscasters forced on the air sans any hygiene or beauty products.
  • Joker's feebly hilarious attempt to avoid getting smacked around by Batman by putting on fake glasses.

"Hey, you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now, would you?" *punch*

  • This dialogue between Lt. Eckhart and Knox.

Knox: You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say--.
Eckhart: I say: you're full of shit, Knox. You can quote me on that. (flicks his cigar at him)

  • "Are you deaf? You don't speak English?"
  • "Mr. Knox, we have enough problems in the city without worrying about ghosts and goblins."
  • "Check this out. He must have been King of the Wicker People."
  • "Nice outfit."
    • Batman's smile, as if saying "thanks".
  • Joker's meeting with the crimelords.

Joker: [electrocuting Vinnie with his handbuzzer] Oh, I got a live one here.
Joker: Antoine's got a little hot under the collar.
Vinnie: You're crazy.
Joker: Have you ever heard of the healing power of laughter? (laughs while wiping his "skin" off to reveal a pale, clownlike skin underneath the forehead.) NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!

  • "I'm only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. As you can see inside, I'm really crying. You might join me for a weep."
  • The Joker's surprise present for Vicki.
  • "You're right about Carl Grissom. He was a thief and a terrorist. On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice."
  • "Where is the Batman? He's at home! Washing his tights!"
  • Joker's dance with Vicki on top of the old church. And his "BANG!" gun.
  • This line:

Joker: Here, let me lend you a hand. [Vicki grabs Joker's hand, which is a fake, causing Vicki to fall. But Batman saves her.] HA HA HA! "Lend you a hand"!

    • And this:

"They don't make em like they use to! Hey gang? Hey Batsy?"

  • The museum scene.
    • The way Joker tips over the little statue at the museum.
  • At the start of Bruce's story to Joker:

Bruce: Lemme tell you about this guy I know, Jack... mean kid, bad seed. Hurt people.
Joker: I like him already.
Bruce: You know what the problem was? He got sloppy. You know, crazy. He's the kind of guy who couldn't hear a train until it was two feet from him.

  • And this clever one:

Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas? ("isn't it so?")
Bruce: Most of the time.

  • While Vicki was arguing with Bruce:

Vicki: I trusted you! I even slept with you, I can't believe I did that!
Bruce: (rolls his eyes) Well...