Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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  • In "The Maggots in the Meathead", pretty much every time Bones starts talking about how the "Guido's" are acting from purely anthropological viewpoint.
  • Brennan, while chasing a male suspect, tries a little cop-talk;

Brennan: Stop or I'll kick you in the testicles!

  • "God is a little formal, Hodgins is fine."
  • Angela introducing herself to a "bomb squad bombshell" who caught Hodgins' eye.

Angela: Hi, I'm Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions (nods toward Hodgins) and him.

  • Pretty much any time Booth is under painkillers and/or vaccines.
  • The whole Fan Service saga in "The Goop on the Girl" (the 2009 Christmas episode). Was it really necessary to wheel Booth around in nothing but his funky socks and boxers on a lab cart? No. But it was hilarious.

Angela: Uh, are we doing experiments on Booth? Because if so, I'd love to help.
Booth: Go ahead, make fun of the naked guy, knock yourself out.

    • The kicker is Hodgins's statement: "Where's your chest hair?"
  • "The Devil in the Details". Hodgins is conducting a test to see if nunchucks are the murder weapon. He literally knocks himself out - he nails himself in the face with them and spends the rest of the scene dazed, confused, and hanging onto the edge of the table until he passes out.
    • Later in that episode, Bones is talking to one of the doctors at the asylum and finds that they have quite a bit in common, including a disdain for the less-than-imperical nature of psychology. Just as the doctor is about to give her a tour, Bones learns that the doctor is actually a patient there, who is under the delusion that he is a psychologist. The look on her face is priceless.
  • Booth and Brennan, needing to get a form signed, walking in on Sweets and Daisy in a compromising position. Their reactions to one another are the best.

Booth: (casually) Can you sign this?
Sweets: Are you serious!?

  • Hodgins and Sweets stealing Angela's Dad's car back for him. How can Sweets meowing like a cat to distract guard dogs, Hodgins trying to avoid angry bikers and Billy Gibbons sneaking up on him end any other way?
  • "The Bones That Foam" is a crowning episode of funny. From the reactions to the titular bones, to Booth's interrogation technique involving a car, right on up to the entire bit involving the strip club and Strawberry Lust. Words fail to describe... at least until someone can provide specific examples.
    • Brennan's interrogation scene. After taking "emotion reading" lessons from Sweets, Brennan tries to interrogate a suspect. Cue her "tough cop" act, Booth watching from behind the one-way glass, horrified, Sweets' constant repetition of "I'm so sorry." and one very scared suspect.
    • The scene at the strip club. Booth goes to Strawberry Lust in order to talk to her, she starts to dance for him, sitting him on a chair so that she can dance on his lap... and Bones pays Strawberry $50 so that she can see it happening.
  • Double Death of the Dearly Departed. The whole episode.

"This man was translated!"

  • Bones yelling about the anthropology of dancing in a nightclub, played completely straight. Since she's comparing the largely Black club to tribal dancing, it's also an example of Crosses the Line Twice.
    • In the same episode, Booth wrings information out of a rapper by agreeing to put him in jail for a month and charge him with murder if he helps the investigation. Bones' complete inability to understand the idea of "street cred" makes it that much funnier.
  • Sweets pulled a similar stunt with members of a death-metal band in "Mayhem on the Cross" in Season Four. That episode is also notable for Booth's reaction when he learned that Gordon Gordon Wyatt was once "Noddy Comet", a glam rocker who, in his own words, "wore spandex, pancake makeup, and played a guitar shaped like a spaceship."
  • In "Mother and Child in the Bay", a mannequin is set up in the lab. In order to make an estimate about the strength of the attacker, the cast takes turns stabbing it as though in a rage. Hilarity Ensues.
  • "Phalanges! Dancing phalanges!"

"You looooove spacial disorientation, don't you? Don't you?"

  • "Elephants are not purple. This is wrong."
  • Brennan's appearance on "Good Morning DC".

Host: How do you juggle careers as a best-selling author, and a crime-solving anthropologist?
Brennan: First I do one, then the other.
Host: ...

    • Later in that same episode, a woman asks Brennan "Is that you I saw on television this morning?"

Brennan: How could I possibly know what you saw on television this morning?
>Woman: ...Yeah, it was definitely her.

  • "Hot blooded!"
  • The entire sequence where Brennan and Zack are trying to figure out the gesture given by someone judging his thesis. "Like this... not like this..."
  • "Thanks for the... gum..."
    • The entire episode! Caroline stating against all available evidence that she has "a puckish side that will not be denied"...Booth declaring it Officially the Worst Christmas Ever once they get to the point of sniffing individual Santa butts to see which one smells like bird's nest soup...and of course the entire plotline revolving around the death of someone who may or may not be Santa Claus, especially when Bones and Booth visit his apartment (above a toy store), where, for example, the fridge is filled with milk and cookies and the wardrobe consists of nothing but Santa clothes.

Booth: This guy was committed!
Bones: He should have been.

    • Special mention should go to the scene where one of the professional Santas turns out to be the killer. As he's perp-walked out, the other Santas start singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town": "You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry..."
  • Stewie's guest appearance toward the end of the fourth season, especially when he appears in the questioning room.
    • "You, sir, are a boob!"
  • EVERYTHING about the circus episode.
  • The entire sequence after Booth faking his own death: Brennan barges in on him in his own bathroom in his own house while he's taking a bath wearing a beer helmet, smoking a cigar and reading Green Lantern to yell at him for not informing her that he wasn't really dead.

Brennan: Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution!

  • Everything ever about Angela's father, who is played by ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons. Him informing Hodgins that asking for Angela's hand in marriage is in fact a terrible idea, the SCARY GUITAR CHORD whenever he appears after they break up when he's stalking Hodgins to scare the piss out of him (and force him to get a tattoo of Angela Forever, and explaining how Texan Daddy justice works to Angela- "Then HIS daddy can come here and kick YOUR ass."
    • I have a Texan Daddy. I can attest that really is pretty much how it works.
    • The extremely strong implication that Angela's dad actually **is** Billy Gibbons.
  • Brennan and Angela accidentally inhaling meth and getting high at the beginning of "The Man in the Wall".
  • In the episode "The Science in the Physicist", Angela accidentally gets hit in the face by a frozen, bouncing turkey.
  • Anytime Hodgins and Zack/intern-of-the-week engage in an experiment. Notably, they once sent a pig through a wood chipper, outside the Jeffersonian, to the delight of several employees. Among those NOT delighted? Doctor Goodman, their boss.
  • At the end of "The Feet on the Beach", Sweets throwing a bowl at Doctor Filmore's head, expecting his arm to resume function after Brennan apologized for disregarding his field of research. It doesn't exactly go as planned.
  • Hodgins and Mr. Nigel-Murray's "T-Rex vs. Man" arm-wresting match.
  • A woman, Samantha Pickering, from the state department is interviewing everyone, getting Brennan last. When she asks Brennan a question, Brennan picks up the phone, calls someone and passes it to Pickering. After hanging up, she reveals that the interview has been suspended. And her notes are to be destroyed.
  • Pretty much any entry from Sweets' Character Blog, he's quite the little Deadpan Snarker when given the opportunity. Special mention goes to the ones from "The Finder", which were written in a haze of sickness.

"I just want it to be noted that Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan totally love the hell out of each other ant they totally want to do it together. And the only reason they haven't is because of me. Because they think it's too funny to torment me. Well, HA FRICKING HA to the both of you! Punks. Wow, I think I may have taken too much cough medicine..or maybe not enough."

  • "The Man with the Bone" is all about pirates, with lots of anecdotes from pirate fan Hodgins. They find a bone. They find out it's a pirate bone. They go on a Treasure Hunt. They think they might actually find some treasure! Cue tables turning as the Jeffersonian gets a little pirate raid on their exhibits - that is, someone stealing pirate bones from them. Twice. The same set.

Cullen: Okay, Let Me See If I Get This Straight. The pirate bones you recovered came from the Jeffersonian to start with...

Brennan: Correct.

Goodman: 300-year-old bones stolen from our own pirate exhibit.

Cullen: ...and then recovered by one of your own people...

Booth: Doctor Hodgins.

Cullen: ...who brought them back to the Jeffersonian... where they were stolen again?

Booth: Re-stolen... sir.

Cullen: You got a security problem, Doctor Goodman.

Goodman: And when I find out who did this, you may have a murder problem.

  • In "The Change in the Game" one of the bowlers making a crude remark about Brennan in front of Max, then assumeing that the reason Max is pissed because he's interested in Brennan.
  • Angela's increasing frustrated attempts to assemble a toy in "The Prince In the Plastic". Hodgins comes in and tries to help.

Angela: Don't even look at me. Don't even look over here.

  • The scene in "The Hot Dog in the Competition" where Booth and Sweets are talking to the husband of the victim. They believe she's a prostitute, she's actually a competitive eater. Double entendres abound.
  • In the opening scene of "Prisoner in the Pipe," a girl (and her dad) are forever traumatized to toilet training. The next scene with Brennan and Booth touring the hospital with Brennan carrying a UV light around didn't help matters.
  • In "The Do in the Don't", the entire scene in the lingerie store. Sweets knows a little too much about women's undergarments.
  • Sweets catches Bones and Booth in a compromising position:

Sweets: Comparing body parts, what else do people do in snowstorms?