It's a long, long way from Canada A long way from snow chains
—Joni Mitchell, "Dreamland"
Then our reality came crashing down around us. Mike Myers said the word "aboot" in one of the few sketches where he wasn't doing a Scottish or British accent, so we asked around and found out the sickening truth: Every funny person in the world was from Canada.
Received same call from Mr. Bucholz, with same refusal to press charges or exit premises in the company of officers. I suggest that Mr. Bucholz may be mentally ill, in light of his extreme sense of civic duty coupled with inhuman levels of politeness. Correction: Please strike suggestion of mental illness from Record. Mr. Bucholz is simply Canadian.
Oh Canada, our home and native land Oh kick it Keep saving the beauty, dig it Well you can tell from the way that I say Eh, I'm from Canada We can speak the English but we do Francais, up in Canada And it's full of big, hairy guys, named Renee` Up in Canada, I'm talking Canada Go, go, go, back to Canada Go, go, go, back to Canadaaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaa...........haaaaaaaaaaa Oh Yeah Well if you like luge the dog sledd'n too head to Canada We got loads of sights and the northern lights, up in Canada And special nights for hockey games with lots of fights in Canada So let's sail forth, to the great white north Canada Go, go, go, back to Canada Let's all go BACK to Canadaaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaa...........haaaaaaaaaaa Back to Canada
The Great White North, CANADA! where you can enjoy a beautiful train ride, and go back to freezing cold temperatures, Hockey, Canadian bacon, Hockey, bears, Hockey, maple syrup, more bears, Hockey......wait, Did I mention Hockey?
The tragedy of Canada is that they could have enjoyed French cuisine, British culture, and American technology.
Instead, they got British cuisine, American culture, and French technology.
The only thing more Canadian than rioting after a hockey game is apologizing for it for two weeks afterwards.
—Most popular Twitter repost following the 2011 Vancouver hockey riot.
“I’m proud to be Canadian. We may not have a fancy NFL team, or Prince, but we invented Trivial Pursuit - you’re welcome, Earth. Plus, in Canada, you can go to an all-nude strip club and order alcohol. That’s right. From Moose Jaw to the Bay of Fundy, you can suck down a 20-ounce Pilsner while watching some coal miner’s daughter strip down to her pelt. Jealous?”
Shepard: Don't worry. When all of this is over, I'll buy you drinks back in Vancouver. I promise. Samantha Traynor: Vancouver? Not Paris or Venice. Vancouver. Shepard: It's a great city! Samantha: You never take me anywhere nice.
"Look, they're Canadians. Hockey is in their blood, and it's the only time a Canadian truly becomes deadly."
[USS] Philadelphia blinked once, twice. "Wait, what do you call their service in the World Wars, then?!"
"Mercy," [HMCS] Ontario stated.
In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations -- it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.
—Stuart Keate
In Canada, it's illegal to incite 14-year-olds to bestiality, advertise Viagra and scare the elderly and children to death. Submitter's weekend plans have gone right out the window.
In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courage. Those novels would make you retch.
—Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian novel.