Diamonds Are Forever/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

For a Camp romp, this Bond movie has several moments:

  • As the assassins begin their killing spree to close down the smuggling ring:

(Plane explodes)
Mr. Kidd: If man were meant to fly, Mr. Wynt...
Mr. Wynt: ...He would've been born with wings, Mr. Kidd.
(The two hold hands and practically skip away)

  • Bond's introduction to one of the more ludicrously named Bond girls:

Plenty O'Toole: I'm Plenty.
Bond: So I see...
Plenty: Plenty O'Toole.
Bond: Ah, after your father.

  • Bond takes Plenty O'Toole up to his hotel room, only to find Blofeld's goons waiting for him. One of them throws Plenty out the window after she takes her clothes off, and she lands in the pool wearing nothing but her purple high heels and her pink panties.

Bond: Exceptionally fine shot, sir.
Henchman: (genuinely stunned) I didn't know there was a pool down there.

  • While Blofeld is demonstrating his laser: "As you can see, it's currently over Kansas. Of course, if we destroy Kansas, the world may not hear about it for years."
  • Bond's introduction to Bambi and Thumper.
  • Bond is trapped in a pipeline with a rat, after having accidentally covering himself in Mr. Wint's perfume.

James: (to the rat) Well, one of us smells like a tart's handkerchief. (sniffs) I'm afraid it's me. Sorry, old boy.

  • Bond using the crane to turn Blofeld's "Batho-sub" into a wrecking ball.

Blofeld: Lower! Not UP!