Everything's Better with Penguins/Quotes

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Now lots of other penguins Seem to do fine In the universe of nothing but ice. But if I could be yours, And you could be mine, Our cozy little world would be Twice as nice! I want to be your personal penguin from now on! —Davy Jones, "Your Personal Penguin"

Dood! —The Prinnies

Why's there so many [movies about penguins]? Because people love 'em! Awww, lookit the penguin, it's so cute! Don't you just love those little fuckers? Aren't they fucking funny?!

"Scientists believe that these penguins, these, comic, flightless, web-footed little bastards may finally, unwittingly help man to fathom the uncharted depths of the human mind."

Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had. —Linus Torvalds

"It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry." —Joe Moore

"Aww, they're so cute! They're as if puppies and kittens could have babies!" —Turanga Leela

"I. FUCKING. LOVE. PENGUINS." —Crump

"Io chiamo PINGUINI!" —Italian Spiderman

"If I die make me a penguin. I like penguins." —Kore wa Zombie Desu Ka- The "King of Night" to Eucliwood.

And now the penguin on top of your television will explode. —Monty Python's Flying Circus

Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it. —Arthur Dent

These IQ tests were thought to contain an unfair cultural bias against the penguin. For example, it didn't take into account the penguins' extremely poor educational system. To devise a fairer system of test, a team of our researchers spent eighteen months in Antarctica living like penguins, and subsequently dying like penguins -- only quicker -- proving that the penguin is a clever little sod in his own environment. —Monty Python's Flying Circus

"A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the paper reports, 'The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs.'" —Audubon Society Magazine

"Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern technology. Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat."

"May I have a tour of your ship?" "But of course!" "Waugh!" "What the hell is that??" "That's our chief engineer." "That's a fuckin' penguin!" "Waugh!" "The penguin said that you should be quiet before he reaches down your throat and pulls your pants up, you speciesist bastard."

A homicidal penguin with full weapons access. Just one of the services I provide. —Lady Flame

It's beautiful! It's natural! And I, for one, fully support penguin lust! —Bloom County

See, these two penguins walked into a bar, which was really stupid, 'cause the second one should have seen it.

I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -- different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business. —Bernard Stonehouse

I go for Penguins I don't go for fancy cars For diamond rings Or movie stars I go for penguins Oh Lord I go for penguins Throw your money out the door We'll just sit around And watch it snow I go for penguins Oh Lord I go for penguins Penguins are so sensitive Penguins are so sensitive Penguins are so sensitive To my needs To my needs To my needs To my needs —Lyle Lovett

Roight! Which one of you apes is the penguin?