Excuse Plot/Quotes

"Obviously, this intro is far too cool for me to consider commenting on it. But I do wish I was in the room when the committee decided that the best way to rescue the president was to find two civilian punks. Did the secretary of defense stand up and say, 'We can't spare the military personel to rescue our president. So we'll just inspire a couple of street dudes to do it by questioning their badness. Easy.'"

—Seanbaby hands out a "Best Game Intro" Award to Bad Dudes.

"Once upon a time there were three people named Ar, Gee, and Bee. They lived happily together and agreed this game should be devoid of any meaningful long-term narrative."

—ArGeeBee

"You want a story? Here's your story -- 'Demons over there, KILL THEY ASS.'"

—Yahtzee on Ninja Gaiden 2

" The Right To Motivation. A game must not only give a player things to do, but also give him a reason for doing them. Just plunking the player down in a sandbox and saying, 'have fun' isn't good enough. Especially at the beginning of a game, the player should have a clear sense of what to do next and, in particular, why. Players need a reason to spend their time on a game, and the game must provide one."

—Ernest Adams, Designers' Notebook: The Bill of Players' Rights

"Here's your objective: Blah blah blah blah, Secret Base. Blah blah blah land. Blah blah blah Nuclear missile bomb. Blah blah blah counting on you, utmost importance, win, good luck."

—Mission Control, Duty Calls

"You kill stuff. The end."

—The manual of Cube Engine

"You're a ninja, fruits are flying at you and fuck fruits!"

—Yahtzee on Fruit Ninja

"Cheap sci-fi storylines were the bread and butter of eighties budget games. Made a game about a circle that goes around picking up squares and shooting other circles? Just claim they're robots on a spaceship and you've got yourself a backstory!"

—Stuart Ashen on Robobolt, More Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of