Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?/Headscratchers

The phrase "no homo" just bugs me.
- Used because of the stigma against being anything but cis-gender and heterosexual.
- Me too, and I've started using "no hetero" when I say something friendly to the opposite sex to rub it in.
  - People are really offended by that.
- I use it because I find it funny, even if I'm bisexual. I haven't had a chance to use "no hetero" yet, but I totally would if it came up.
What is it with girls who, in public, go around hugging and jumping on each other and flirting ridiculously - with other girls, I might add - act all offended when you hit on them/let them know you're interested? How the hell was I supposed to know!?
- Ah ha hah, oh wow, I didn't think lesbians actually thought acting like that was gay too. Maybe you should publicize some kind of secret handshake to advertise your actual homosexual status?
  - You're getting pretty close to the homophobia line there, bucko...
    - How so?
  - Maybe Faux Yay artists should publicize some kind of secret handshake to advertise their actual heterosexual status.
- Girls like attention. Trust me on this.
  - Speak for yourself.
- This is why I have a big button on my purse that says "LESBIAN." It was an act of will and charity not to add the word "actual."
- Well, as I glance at me and my girl friends, we hug each other, hold hands, rest our heads on each others shoulders and laps when sitting, shout that we love each other from across the room, and, as far as I know, are all heterosexual. Its not about attention, its about...well, I don't really know. We kind of just do that. Teenage thing? Actually, sometimes I'm surprised we haven't been Mistaken for Gay yet.
  - My best friend (also a girl) and I are constantly Mistaken for Gay, and we're both not. We do the same sorts of stuff as the above troper described, just because it's what we do. And here's the kicker - so do the girls who give us weird looks when we allude to the fact that we're just friends, and ask "wait... so you're not together? ohhh...." Pisses me off.
- At least in my group of friends, it has very little to do with looking for attention and more to do with the fact that physical contact with your friends is nice. When it comes to the flirting, I think that it has at least two explanations. One: What outsiders would consider flirting might actually just be the way friends behave toward each other, no actual flirting intended. Two: In my experience, flirting comes naturally to many girls, regardless of if you’re actually interested in the one you’re flirting with or not. But I’m not saying that this is practical, or even very logical, and as a bisexual female I do see your point. It's frustrating as heck.
- Yes, some people are just touchy-feely with their close friends. My best friend is like this with me, which pisses off another female friend who is madly in love with her, especially since I'm an Actual Lesbian. I am like this with another friend, but is that excused since it's a secret Incompatible Orientation thing?
So here's a scenario: We have a gay guy, and he's always talking about being gay and how gay he is, does this mean that he's actually straight?
- He could be Camp Gay... or just frank about his sexuality. Unless he is straight, then that's Gay Bravado.