Hell/Quotes

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Fiction

Hell is very real. But no humans ever go there. Only demons go there. So imagine that, no matter what you do in life, you cannot go to Hell. Puts a whole different spin on things, doesn't it? —Demon: The Fallen

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Black Mage: Wait, If I did evil and you guys are evil, shouldn't you be showering me with rewards and concubines etc.? Demon Lord: This is hell. We are big on irony here. —Eight Bit Theater

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Where do bad folks go when they die? they don't go to heaven where the angels fly go to a lake of fire and fry see 'em again, till the fourth of July. —Meat Puppets, "Lake of Fire"

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Hell is other people! —No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre

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In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day But tommorrow there'll be Hell to pay —Squirrel Nut Zippers, "Hell"

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Heaven: Dying wish. Hell: Dead certainty. —Thorax, Nine Chickweed Lane

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Hell is not a very nice place. —Father Maxi, South Park

Where do bad folks go when they die? they don't go to heaven where the angels fly go to a lake of fire and fry see 'em again, till the fourth of July. —Nirvana Meat Puppets, "Lake of Fire"

"Once upon a time, there was a place that wasn't a place. It had many names: Avernus, Gehenna, Tartarus, Hades, Abaddon, Sheol... it was an inferno of pain and flame and ice, where every nightmare had come true long since. We'll call it Hell." —Neil Gaiman

You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here." —G La DOS (Portal)

Non Fiction

I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse. —Isaac Asimov

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According to Christianity, eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, believe or die. 'Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options. —Bill Hicks

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I believe that you’re born with eternal sin, and that mankind is Hell. You don’t have to die to go to Hell. There is no redemption in Christ. The only redemption you have is in realizing that you’re alone in the universe, and to take command of your own life. —Joe Coleman

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Hell came right along with God, hand in hand. The stink of sulfur swirled in the air of the church, fire burned in the aisles, and brimstone rained out of the rafters. From the evangelist's oven mouth spewed images of a place with pitchforks, and devils, and lakes of fire that burned forever. God had fixed a place like that because he loved us so much —Harry Crews

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Written over the gate here are the words Leave every hope behind, ye who enter. Only think what a relief that is! For what is hope? A form of moral responsibility. Here there is no hope, and consequently no duty, no work, nothing to be gained by praying, nothing to be lost by doing what you like. Hell, in short, is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself. —George Bernard Shaw

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An idea, which has terrified millions, claims that some of us will go to a place called Hell, where we will suffer eternal torture. This does not scare me because, when I try to imagine a Mind behind this universe, I cannot conceive that Mind, usually called 'God,' as totally mad. I mean, guys, compare that 'God' with the worst monsters you can think of—Adolph Hitler, Joe Stalin, that sort of guy. None of them ever inflicted more than finite pain on their victims. Even de Sade, in his sado-masochistic fantasy novels, never devised an unlimited torture. The idea that the Mind of Creation (if such exists) wants to torture some of its critters for endless infinities of infinities seems too absurd to take seriously. Such a deranged Mind could not create a mud hut, much less the exquisitely mathematical universe around us. —Robert Anton Wilson

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It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die. Who knows? If there is in fact, a heaven and a hell, all we know for sure is that hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix—a clean well lighted place full of sunshine and bromides and fast cars where almost everybody seems vaguely happy, except those who know in their hearts what is missing . . . And being driven slowly and quietly into the kind of terminal craziness that comes with finally understanding that the one thing you want is not there. Missing. Back-ordered. No tengo. Vaya con dios. Grow up! Small is better. Take what you can get . . . —Hunter S. Thompson

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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! . . . But He loves you! He loves you! He loves you and he needs money. —George Carlin

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Hell is where no one has anything in common with anybody else except the fact that they all hate one another and cannot get away from one another and from themselves. —Thomas Merton