Insane Troll Logic: Difference between revisions

Of course, sometimes it's just [[Obfuscating Stupidity]] or [[Obfuscating Insanity]] in action.

* This [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7udQSHWpL88 recent] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VObFc64OnEk&feature=relmfu ad] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-zG5U0v3gU&feature=relmfu campaign] from DirecTV. See what happens when you make bad decisions—namely, choosing the Other Guys’ subpar cable services. For example:

** If you wait too long for the cable repairman to arrive, you get bored. When you get bored, you start staring out windows. When you start staring out windows, you see things you shouldn't see. When you see things you shouldn't see, you need to vanish. When you need to vanish, you fake your own death. When you fake your own death, you dye your eyebrows. And when you dye your eyebrows, you attend your own funeral as a man named Phil Shifley.

* Toast always lands buttered-side down. Cats always land on their feet. So, what happens when you tape toast, buttered-side up, on a cat's back? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z8yW5cyXXRc Infinite energy!]

* Each individual country in ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'' think of this about each other's customs, languages, and even their dietary habits. A bit of [[Fridge Logic]] for those who have ever traveled outside their own country and thought this about the place they were visiting.

* ''[[Haruhi Suzumiya]]'': Haruhi Suzumiya does this at times. Then again she ''is'' something of a [[Cloudcuckoolander]], but it's most likely that she doesn't mean it seriously. The prologue of the 4th novel had this nice dialogue:

* Although it's among [[Complete Monster|the least of his problems]], [[Fate/stay night|Zouken Matou's]] treatment of Sakura falls into this (and maybe a bit of [[Unfortunate Implications]]), at its core: {{spoiler|concerned that raping her with a hive of bugs every night since she was a small child will make her a sex-hungry nymphomaniac, he sends his grandson to rape her once in awhile to take the edge off, for ''her'' sake.}}

* ''[[Chick Tracts]]'' thrive on this.{{context}}

* This is the entire basis of the existence of the ''[[Johnny Turbo]]'' comics, and the "plot" follows suit. Buy the Turbo Duo game system, because Sega is composed of evil robots!

* in ''[[Silent Hill (film)|Silent Hill]]'' Rose knows where to go by finding vague items, she always turns out to be right, but it gets odd when she MUST go to the hotel because she found a piece of a sign in some dead guys mouth.

* In ''[[Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle|Harold And Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay]]'', the eponymous characters are arrested and forced to eat "cockmeat sandwich". When Kumar asks a guard (whose dick he and Harold have to suck) if the guard is gay, he responds, "There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked; you're the gay ones for sucking my dick! In fact, it creeps me out being around you fags." The group escapes before they have to put this to the test.

'''Man in Black:''' [[Stealth Insult|Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.]]}}

* ''[[Discworld]]''

** The explanation of L-space: Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is energy. Energy = matter. Matter equals mass. A library or bookshop is "a genteel black hole that knows how to read".

* In the ''[[Star Risk, Ltd.|Star Risk Ltd]]'' series, Jasmine King left her previous job after her supervisor decided she was too perfect to be human, therefore she was an android, therefore he didn't legally need to pay her.

* This is done repeatedly in ''[[The Colbert Report]]''. One of the most absurd examples is the Da Colbert Code, where Stephen Colbert makes predictions using free association, starting with actors' names and titles of movies.

** ...Which in 2006 produced ''correct'' Oscar picks, including [[Award Snub|controversial surprise winner]] ''[[Crash (film)|Crash]]''. [[Catch Phrase|"I CALLED IT!"]]

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVRODdXVI3Q This] [[A Bit of Fry and Laurie]] sketch uses it brilliantly. During the interrogation, when the woman [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|accused of being a lesbian]] points out that she's married a Bishop of the Church of England, the Prosecutor points out that the Church owns land. Land upon which housed have been built. Houses in which it is statistically probably that private acts of [[Unusual Euphemism|lesboid love]] have been committed.

{{quote|'''[[Just for Pun|Worm1:]]''' Nobody ever gets shot, cause everybody have a gun.

'''[[Worms|Worm2:]]''' [[Lampshade Hanging|Makes sense.]]

** Also, their "Don't Go Into Politics" concludes that going into politics, science, or music is a bad idea, because so many famous politicians, scientists, and musicians are now dead.

* An early ''[[Dilbert]]'' strip:

{{quote|'''Dilbert:''' Reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is ''power''.

* ''[[Pogo (comic strip)|Pogo]]'' does this constantly. For example, when Albert is on trial for allegedly [[Carnivore Confusion|eating]] Pup-Dog, Seminole Sam produces a fish skeleton as evidence, arguing that Pup-Dog was so fond of water he was "jus' like a fish." Porkypine refutes him by pointing out that it's a ''cat''fish skeleton.

* ''[[The Goon Show]]'' based a huge portion of its humor around this kind of logic. One of the best known examples is the exchange between Eccles and Bluebottle that is usually referred to by its first line, "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSSGiA4f5cs What time is it, Eccles?]" In this example, Eccles explains in a perfectly logical sequence of total nonsense that he knows what time it is, because he has the time written on a piece of paper in his pocket.

* ''[[I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue]]'' uses a lot of this logic, either taking it seriously (of ''course'' Mornington Crescent is a real, rational game with a long and detailed history) or as one-off gags and quick silliness.

'''Graeme:''' Ah, that's because cashews are actually monkey kidneys. And monkey kidneys don't come in shells, they come in monkeys. That would bulk out the packaging too much. }}

* In ''[[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]]'', playing along with The Computer's Insane Troll Logic is a major survival skill and plot instigator.

** On the other hand, the Spurious Logic skill in early editions is ''not'' an example - the logic is sane, but the initial claim is a lie ("I'm an undercover Violet, Violets are cleared for plasma generators, therefore I'm cleared for this plasma generator").

** For those out of the loop, slaadi are outsiders from the [[Reality Is Out to Lunch|realm of chaos]], are Always [[Chaotic Neutral]] (or [[Chaotic Evil]] in 4th edition), and who have a mechanically-enforced [[Our Monsters Are Weird]] creature-generation system. They also look like giant anthropomorphic frogs.

* [[Bill Cosby]] has a famous routine about him being rudely awakened by his wife, and his daughter asking him if she can have cake for breakfast. He decides it must be healthy because it has eggs, wheat and milk in it, and says yes.

** His wife then comes down, sees what the kids are eating, [[Ax Crazy|"has a conniption"]], and then sends him back to the bedroom... [[Unishment|which is where he wanted to go in the first place]]. What do you call Insane Troll Logic that works?

* This is the basis of how the [[Absurdism|Theatre of the Absurd]] works. Eugene Ionesco was particularly good at this.

* ''[[Anyone Can Whistle]]'': In the [[Stephen Sondheim|Sondheim]] [[Musical]], the patients from a local insane asylum infiltrate a line of pilgrims waiting to see a "miracle" set up by the mayoress and her cronies. To keep from being exposed, they call on the asylum's doctor, who sends his recently arrived assistant, J. Bowden Hapgood. Hapgood promises to separate the sane from the insane using "the principles of logic," and has an entire 13-minute musical sequence that is full of this kind of "logic".

{{quote|"Roy Cohn is not a homosexual. Roy Cohn is heterosexual man, Henry, who fucks around with guys."}}

* In ''[[Mass Effect]]'' a [[Sociopathic Hero|Renegade]] [[Player Character|Shepard]] can say:

{{quote|'''Shepard:''' You refused to testify. Obviously you hate justice and deserve this.

'''Troll Cook''': If you didn't want to be cooked, then why did you apply for the job? I think you'll all make a tasty snack! Boys! Get 'em! }}

{{quote|'''Black Mage:''' Okay Red Mage, enlighten us. How can a plan that makes ''no sense'' work?

'''Red Mage:''' One simple reason: It makes too little sense to fail.

* In ''[[Sinfest]]'', [http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2119 Lil' Evil argues that Evilution -- the theory humans are descendents of Evil Monkeys -- must be true because Church people don't like it.]

* In ''[[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged]]'', Joseph finally (not really) figures out the secret of Dio's Stand:

{{quote|'''Joseph''': Wait a minute...time! Kronos was the god of time in Greek mythology. Greece won the Euro Cup in 2004. [[George W. Bush]] was re-elected in 2004. [[George W. Bush]] was impersonated in [[Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle]] Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Kal Penn is in [[Barack Obama]]'s administration. [[Will Smith]] looks like [[Barack Obama]]. [[Will Smith]]'s son is going to be in the next Karate Kid - oh my god I got it!!}}

* Soren of ''[[Cracked.com]]'' [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-only-argument-internet-in-favor-sopa/ explains] why you should support SOPA.<ref>If believe that, you deserve a [[Darwin Award]]...</ref>

* In ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "The Monkey Suit", creationists seeking to ban the teaching of evolution succeed by getting a scientist to testify in court that evolution is a myth—a scientist with a degree in "Truthology" from "Christian Tech".

** It's a shot at "doctors" like [[wikipedia:Kent Hovind|Kent Hovind]] and [[wikipedia:Carl Baugh|Carl Baugh]]. Both of which got their doctorate degrees the old fashioned way, by buying them.

'''Homer''': And I get my money from grease. What's the problem? }}

* ''[[South Park]]'':

*** Most likely intended to parody the movie ''The Number 23''. The entire movie is composed of such calculations.

** In "Dances With Smurfs" Cartman uses [[Glenn Beck]]'s method of choosing a bunch of keywords, taking the first letter of each and using them to spell something out. '''K'''eywords he associates with Wendy are '''I'''ntegrated, '''L'''eftist, '''L'''iberal, '''S'''ocialist, '''M'''odern, '''U'''topian, '''R'''eformed, '''F'''arce and '''S'''chool. Therefore, Wendy Testaburger wants to '''KILL SMURFS'''.

* In ''[[Beast Machines]]'', this is the basis of Obsidian and Strika's [[My Master, Right or Wrong|My Master]]/[[My Country, Right or Wrong|Country Right Or Wrong]] attitude. Their loyalty is to Cybertron first and foremost, and according to them, whoever is ruling Cybertron ''is'' Cybertron, so they'll follow that person without question. Their fellow Vehicon Thrust eventually calls them on this (paraphrased):

{{quote|"If you're loyal to ''anyone'', doesn't that mean you're loyal to ''no one''?"}}

{{quote|'''Twilight Sparkle:''' If I can't find a friendship problem... I'll MAKE a friendship problem!}}

** To go into it deeper, Twilight's logic is thus: "I am going to be late with my friendship report to Princess Celestia = She will be upset/will question my abilities = Princess Celestia will make me take a test = Students who don't pass tests get sent back a grade = Since Princess Celestia holds me to a higher standard, I will be sent all the way back to Magic Kindergarten = All this can be solved if I fix a friendship problem = In the absence of such a problem, I should make one."

* In ''[[Iron Man: Armored Adventures]]'', [[Fantastic Racism|Sen. R Kelly]] clams that [[X-Men|mutants]] are a "unnatural mistake of nature".

* As the name suggests, [[Troll]]s. They often create illogical theories to prove that the side they are arguing with are actually child molesters, hypocrites or whatever. This is just one of their tactics, but it's easily the most recognizable, to the point that users often label everyone they don't agree with as a troll, which is actually an even better example of Insane Troll Logic.

* A recent example: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protecting_Children_from_Internet_Pornographers_Act_of_2011 Protecting Children from Internet Pornographers Act]. This would require internet service providers to log the traffic of all its users for a minimum of 18 months in which a government agency can access - fortunately, they'll still need warrants and probable cause for most of us, because the "administrative subpoenas" clause refers only to issues involving unregistered sex offenders, which is a far less blanketing term than it sounds - it refers only to people convicted of being a sex offender who, for whatever reason, have failed to put themselves on a registry. Regardless, if you're against it, you support illegal pornography - just like its previous failed incarnation, the SAFETY act.

[[Category:Logic Tropes]]

[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]

[[Category:Philosophy Tropes]]

[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]