The Alcoholic/Quotes

Richie: What's in this?!
Eddie: Brandy!
Richie: Good!
Eddie: Meths, pernod, paintstripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie!
Richie: Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!
Eddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright! You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?
Richie: [taking a whiff] Jesus! How are you alive?!
Eddie: I may very well not be!

—Bottom, "Hole"

"I drink because I don't stand a chance and I know it. I couldn't drive a truck like other men and I couldn't get on the cops with my build. I got to sling beer and sing when I just want to sing. I drink because I got responsibilities I can't handle."

—Johnny Nolan, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

"I fought against the bottle, but I had to do it drunk."

—Leonard Cohen, "That Don't Make It Junk"

"S/he needs alcohol to get through the working day."

—Every single dwarf's profile in Dwarf Fortress

"Alcohol is one of mankind's friends. Can I abandon a friend?"

—Yang Wen-Li, Legend of Galactic Heroes

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. "Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic." "Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus." One of those two doesn’t sound right.

—Mitch Hedberg

"It usually takes two liters of vodka just to make me feel warm inside."

—Andre the Giant

"Next, to my alchoholic brother..."
"Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!"
"To dear Hedge, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."
"I'm covering up my head!"
"I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey..."
*raises head* "Really?"
"And a boot to the head!"

—The Frantics, Last Will and Temperament

Big Daddy: Why do you drink so much?
Brick: Gimme another drink and I'll tell you.

—Cat on a Hot Tin Roof