The Fifth Elephant/Tear Jerker

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • After Angua's wolven (possibly) ex-boyfriend dies trying to save Carrot from Angua's brother, Gaspode The Wonder Dog, a world-weary mutt, howls over his body, with the rest of the wolves in the area joining in.
    • This bit had me bawling, since I'd loved Gavin's character. He was a kind of a Noble Savage for me; when Carrot tries to play fetch with him, he shatters the stick out of disdain for the 'humanization' of wolves, but then he sacrifices himself to save Carrot. However, Gaspode's absolutely heartbreaking line followed by his pitiful howl being gradually picked up by the rest of the pack takes the cake.

"Shouldn't be just you and me, out here in the cold."

  • The scene where Vetinari is talking to Leonard about Lady Margolotta. It's not very long and quite oblique in some places, but then again this is Vetinari we're talking about here. It shows that Vetinari does have a heart after all.
  • Dee's Villainous Breakdown speech is absolutely heartbreaking once the Wham! Line hits.

"Not them! The...ones in Ankh-Morpork! Wearing make-up and dresses and...and abominable things!" Dee pointed a finger at Cheery. "Ha'ak! How can you even look at it! You let her," and Vimes had seldom heard a word sprayed with so much venom, "her flaunt herself, here! And it's happening everywhere because people have not been firm, not obeyed, have let the old ways slide! Everywhere there are reports. They're eating away at everything dwarfish with their...their soft clothes and paint and beastly ways. How can you be King and allow this? Everywhere they are doing it and you do nothing! Why should they be allowed to do this?" Now Dee was sobbing. "I can't!" And I work so...so hard!"

  • When, after Lady Sybil is briefly taken hostage and then freed and everyone's safe again, Vimes is the last one to realize that she's very quietly crying - and, even then, can't do much about it because he's "designed by nature to be one of those men absolutely incapable of kissing his wife in public." And then later, when he comes to save her after she's been taken away by werewolves and sees her coming down the stairs in their castle and just sort of stands there for a minute thinking about how much he loves her. And then, later, when he's the only one laughing at the dumb jokes she's making while they're trapped and seem like they're about to die. Basically, their whole relationship in this book is one big Tear Jerker - especially since we know the toll that his job has taken on it in other books.