You Do NOT Want to Know/Playing With

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Basic Trope: A character has some sort of secret which they refuse to reveal, ostensibly because it would be detrimental to the listener's mental health.


  • Played Straight: Alice shows up at work wearing an astronaut costume. Bob, upon asking why, is told that he's better off not knowing.
  • Exaggerated: Alice shows up for work dressed as an astronaut, bleeding, carrying a mysterious package, and being followed by giraffes. "You do not want to know," she says. "About what?" "Anything."
  • Justified: The explanation involves Bob in some way, and Alice doesn't want to upset/offend him.
  • Inverted:Before anyone even has a chance to ask, Alice launches into an in-depth explanation of how her boyfriend has an astronaut fetish and "pants like a dog in heat" whenever she puts the helmet on.
  • Averted: Bob asks, Alice tells.
  • Parodied: Bob desperately wants to find out Alice's secret, and so becomes her slave on the condition that she'll eventually tell. She never does.
  • Subverted: Alice's "big secret" turns out to be hilariously tame.
  • Double Subverted: However, Fridge Horror sets in as Bob realizes the actual significance of what Alice said and starts hunting for the Brain Bleach.
  • Zig-Zagged: However, Alice assures Bob that he just has an overactive imagination and it's really not that bad. She then flashes a Psychotic Smirk towards the camera.
  • Lampshaded: "Why do you always say that? I always find out, and it's never as interesting as you make it sound!"
  • Deconstructed: Alice starts to fray under the tremendous strain of keeping something so awful to herself.
  • Reconstructed: ...but the hints she starts dropping make Bob realise he does NOT want to know, and he refuses to listen.
  • Enforced: It's part of a Noodle Incident being left to the viewer's imagination.
  • Invoked: Alice deliberately withholds trivial information in order to seem more interesting.
  • Defied: Rather than say "you don't want to know" and risk people's curiosity, Alice simply lies.
  • Discussed: Upon seeing Alice, Bob asks coworker Sally why Alice is dressed like that. Sally tells him he probably doesn't want to find out.
  • Conversed: "You know, I was going to ask, but I probably don't want to know."

Trust me, you don't want to see what's at You Do NOT Want to Know.