Mister Metokur/Funny
Due to the fact that he covers some of the Internet’s most bizarre people and their greatest fuck-ups, Mister Metokur’s videos contain plenty of funny moments, mostly involving Metokur’s Deadpan Snarker and ruthless mocking the subject’s strange and downright moronic online behavior.
- Most of The Hugbox Chronicles Episode 7, dealing with the response to the first episode of his Deviant's series, can be seen as this. Although, this part stands out:
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FNGR (On Twitter): Will you hold my hand in the moonlight? |
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- From his "FinDumb" video, the rather cringe-inducing posts and hashtags that findommes use to solicit money from their "pay pigs”, including things like #cashrape, #cashfag, #wickedthug, and even #stinkysox.
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Mister Metokur: Now yo what’s up mothafucka, it’s Wickedthug and my homeboy, Stinkysox, up here wallet rapin’ bitches. |
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- His forensic recreation of Lindsey Ellis' "Rape Rap" video in "TGWTG Episode 6: Compilation". 'Nuff said.
- His description of Todd in the Shadows certainly qualifies:
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Mister Metokur: Well Todd In The Shadows is a real life composite. He’s basically what the gay love-child of Harold and Kumar would look like if they had gay ass babies. But Todd, Todd leads a double-life. In the day time he drives your taxi in the Bronx, but at night he mugs people in alleyways. At least, that’s what I’m assuming this LARPing costume is going for. That or it’s some kind of fucking homage to R. Kelly’s mask period. I don’t really know. |
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- "TGWTG Episode 7: Finale":
- He talks about Noah Antwiler's brother, Miles, who is a cop that shot a man named Castellano pointblank in the back of the head with his revolver. If that wasn’t crazy enough, apparently Miles also likes to be referred as the "Iceman the DDT Machine", which Mister Metokur surmises to mean "Death Dealing Tortilla Machine".
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Mister Metokur (in a Mexican accent): The Iceman is coming! We need to run away before he kills us with his tortillas! |
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- He reads off the police reports of Lindsay being arrested public intoxication. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, she was apparently so drunk that she was kicking and banging on the windows of the patrol car while she was in custody (to the point where the officer had to place hobbles on her) and even stepping on and breaking her own glasses.
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Mister Metokur: Hey yo motherfucka! I don't know if you know this, but I review movies on the Internet! Hard knock life up in the bitch! You're talkin' to the Shirley Temple killer in here motherfucker! |
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- From "Fly United, Or Else", the doctor who had been beaten, injured and forcibly dragged off a United Airlines flight somehow managing to get back on the plane. It is made even funnier when one realizes that he somehow managed to evade security, the TSA and all the anti-terrorism measures in the airport. Pushing this sequence past the point of hilarity, Metokur decides to play "Fuck tha Police" by N.W.A to really show how ballsy this doctor truly is.
- In his Druid Focket video, after Metokur showcases some videos of her rather odd dance moves, he says that her and Terry Davis should get together and make one hell of a DDR game. Cut to videos of both Davis and Focket dancing edited together with DDR arrow prompts added on top and "Butterfly" being played in the background.
- Short Fat Otaku is so upset over Mister Metokur making fun of Sargon of Akkad that he's been frequenting 8chan /cow/ to passive-aggressively poke fun at Metokur, calling him a lolcow and suggesting that the posters there follow suit. The funny thing is that he's been posting and spamming his anti-Metokur threads there so much, trying desperately to turn the opinion on Metokur that they've all become sick of him and all the other skeptics trying to use their board for their benefit.
- Ralph’s reaction to MundaneMatt being exposed as a flagger. Nuff’ said.
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MundaneMatt: ...I haven't been in the best place mentally, and... |
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- The David Katz video is mostly dedicated to lambasting the titular Katz, the vulture-like reporters who gave out wrong information, the mishandling done by the media, and displaying the different agendas that were fighting over the tragedy (people blaming video games, blaming guns, blaming racism, blaming toxic masculinity, etc.) In the end, Metokur comes up with his own thing to ban:
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Metokur: How about instead of banning guns, and banning video games, we just ban retards from competing in video games. How about we have an autism test at the door. We put a little toy train, a little wooden toy train on a track at the entrance, and if anybody so much as stops and looks at it, they can't get in to play the competition. |
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- His Metokur in the Morning - Sped Dating features probably some of Jim’s most savage content since his appearance on the Morning Kumite with Ross. Some notable highlights include:
- His comments on one girl's costume at ComicCon:
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Mister Metokur: That’s not actually a costume, this girl is retarded. She has to wear the safety helmet to protect herself from hurting herself. This isn’t a costume, she’s got a mental disability. Maybe he’s got a shot with her. |
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- Jim ever so kindly explaining to Casey why exactly her outfit choice was a bad idea:
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Mister Metokur: And this ladies, is a tip, guys too, if you ever do this. If you have a stomach that looks like this don’t wear a midriff exposing outfit, Casey. Cause, you know, when a guy’s looking, he’s like "Hey, she’s got a cute face, oh nice tits, what the fuck is that?" Why is Casey-why does Casey have a tire of fat around her stomach? And it moves? Look at that belly button. Imagine the smell that imitates from that belly button. That’s a thought I don’t want to think about when I'm sitting across from you Casey. Cover that up. Just cover that up. Put a sweater on Casey, do something. |
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- Metokur attempting to gain access to a "Love-Shy Forum" by creating an account there. It truly says something about Metokur's talent as an entertainer where he can make registering for a forum entertaining as hell:
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Mister Metokur: Reasons for joining? Uh, "women are bitches." I think that-that women are bitches I think is probably the best, best reason to give to join. Let’s do it. The justification you entered is too short. Oh, fuckin pardon me. "Women are bitches and aren't human. I can't stand that they try to impersonate us men, acting like they to eat food and drink water to survive. I fucking know the truth, those living holes come from Mars. The government doesn't...doesn't want people to know, but I do, because my friend works for the CIA." I think that’s gonna get me in let's do this. |
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- Jim chronicling Sargon's, frankly, disastrous political campaign in "Sargons Guide to Winning Elections", in which UKIP lost all of its seats and came dead last in nearly every single poll.
- Near the end of the video, Sargon gets hit with a fish. Even funnier, Jim only made five tips so he could include the clip, and allegedly, he was even pelted with horse shit!
- Really, anytime Jim laughs. No, seriously, his laughter is utterly infectious and bound to get the viewer laughing alongside him.
- Back to Mister Metokur