No Except Yes/Quotes

"Yeah but no but yeah no but yeah no but yeah no but yeah no but yeah no but--"

—Viki Pollard, Little Britain

It was at this pivotal moment that Fulvia mysteriously fell ill and died. I'm not saying there was foul play. I'm just saying that Antony definitely murdered his wife.

—Historia Civilis

Goblin: There are two things under this world that i really despise. [...] And from what i hear, you fall neatly into both categories.
Mulch: Just my luck.

Goblin: Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it. Fortune delivered you into my hands.

—Artemis Fowl

"We're not just doing it for the money! We're doing it for a shitload of money!"

—Lone Star, Spaceballs

Adam: So you lied. About everything.

Zachariah: We didn't lie. We just avoided certain truths to manipulate you.

—Supernatural, "Point of No Return"

"I'm not saying that it was aliens... but it was aliens."

—Giorgio Tsoukalos, as spoofed in this image macro.

"I'm not going to harm it. I'm going to dissect it until it's dead!"

—Dr. Klein, Fallout: New Vegas (Old World Blues DLC)

Imagine if I tried the same with Nazism. I could march around in a brown leather uniform all day, waving a swastika banner and condemning the filthy Zionist–Bolshevik hordes. When questioned by the usual voices of decency, I could respond that:

I don’t support Nazism. In fact, I oppose it. So I’m not a Nazi.
I’m half-Jewish. The Nazis would never have me. So I’m not a Nazi.
Nazis believe in the leadership of Adolf Hitler. I don’t. So I’m not a Nazi.
My inverted swastika is actually a Hindu fertility symbol. So I’m not a Nazi.

Etc., etc., etc. How much ice do you think this would cut with the diversity committee?

— How Dawkins Got Pwned, Chapter 7 by Mencius Moldbug