What an Idiot!/Other Media: Difference between revisions

*** '''Instead''': He promptly declares war on the United States. This turns out to be a mistake.

** Aviation in World War II was still dominated by propeller driven aircraft. In response to this, the Germans invented the Me-262, the first jet engine, which could have had them ready for offensive maneuvers by 1943. The only problem was it was that early designs presented it as an interceptor, a fast-moving fighter. This made sense, as speed is the biggest advantage jets have over prop planes.

*** '''Instead:''' Hitler didn’t want interceptors, he wanted fighter-bombers, as in, planes that could carry weapons that made '''''HUGE''''' explosions. So the Me-262 project was scrapped, at least until Hitler could get his fighter-bombers. Of course, there was no reason Hitler couldn’t have allowed Luftwaffe to build these jets while they were working on plans for the fighter-bombers, but Hitler wanted his way right now. And when his bombers saw the light of day in 1945, they were easily blown out of the sky by the Allied planes that now outnumbered them a thousand to one.

** At Stalingrad, Frederick Paulus requested permission to fight his way out of a Soviet encirclement while the Russian forces were still relatively weak.

*** '''You Would Think:''' Hitler would realize that was the best option and grant permission.

*** '''Worst of All:''' Hitler was still boasting his propagandic nonsense about determination and honor even during the Siege of Berlin, and forced his men to hold a helpless line against the Oder River, rather than pulling back and tightening the inner city’s defenses. When the Russian army reached the city mere days later, there were only about 80,000 Germans left to defend it, and half were civilians, not nearly enough to deal with the army of 1.6 million angry Russians.

** WWII: Hitler decides to invade Russia.

*** '''You'd Expect''': Hitler to analyze the geography and climate of his enemy, and realise that invading Russia successfully is only slightly more difficult than flying to Mars sans space shuttle. (Hint: Russia is enormous, has horrible climate, and is full of Russians. This makes it almost impossible to successfully invade, and therefore makes Hitler's decision only slightly less moronic than the aforementioned declaration of war on the USA.)

*** '''And As If That Wasn't Bad Enough:''' He invades Russia in ''August''. Yes, right at the beginning of the cold weather season. He invades the one place on the planet absolutely infamous for defeating invaders with winter, right at the beginning of fall. (Admittedly, the original plan was to invade during spring and was delayed only because of Germany's need to go assist Italy in the Greek campaign, but ''still''.)

*** '''But The Hole Still Has No Bottom:''' When you consider that the first part of Russia he conquered was the Ukraine, which has never liked being part of Russia in the first place and was openly welcoming the Nazis in and eagerly offering to join in and help Hitler conquer the rest of Russia. With 20+ million Ukrainians, already used to Russian conditions, plus the rich logistical potential of the Ukraine breadbasket, accepting their aid would have given Hitler a fair shot at being the first man to successfully conquer Russia considering how close he came in reality. So what does Hitler do? ''Start murdering and oppressing the Ukrainians wholesale''. He actually brutalized them to the point where the Ukrainians cheerfully accepted '''Stalin''' as an alternative. Now that must have taken some doing.

 

** Yet another German technological breakthrough were the V1 and V2 ballistic rockets, a weapon still being used by modern armies.These weapons could rain unholy hellfire on enemy troops, with frightening accuracy from hundreds of miles away, decimating whole armies.

*** '''Instead:''' Hitler figured “long range” meant “unlimited range”, and used them on civilian targets WAY too far away for their then-primitive targeting systems to work right. Rather than use them against enemy forces situated around Germany’s borders, he launched them at London itself, where they were shot down with ease.

 

** One of the earliest German victories in the war came when Field Marshal Rundstedt brilliantly tore through the Ardennes Forest and circled around the Maginot Line. France fell without much of a fight, setting themselves up for decades of [[Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey]] jokes. Eventually, General Erwin Rommel suggested protecting Normandy claiming the allies would strike there instead of Calais.

*** '''Instead:''' Hitler was notorious for not listening to his generals, and insisted the attack would come through Calais, ordering Rommel to stay put.

*** '''To Make Things Worse:''' When the Allies did attack though Normandy, Rommel wanted to move his troops there to intercept them. Hitler moronically still thought the “real” attack would come through Calais, even as thousands of Allied troops were storming the beaches at Normandy. By the time he finally listened, it was too late, and France was lost.