Stay in the Kitchen/Headscratchers

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • This female troper has a question to male tropers. Why do so many males think it's funny to continually make the joke that all women should Stay in the Kitchen? Really, it's getting tired. Not to mention, these jokes always come with sexist remarks about women indeed not being able to do anything else than being in a kitchen. Really, what's with this attitude? Recent Troper Tales history shows a deleted skirmish from a fellow (male) troper that women never gained any Nobel Prizes and that we can't take a joke and that we lack the necessary cool-headedness - read intelligence - to be in the military. So what are we supposed to do then? What's the implication of these jokes that are no longer ones? Can anyone enlighten me and be truthful? Brutal Honesty will be tolerated, I promise. And seriously, whenever WE girls joke about, say, men's penis size, men ALWAYS say it's not funny, that it's mean and degrading. Double Standard much or is it just plain hypocrisy?
    • This male troper is willing to bet that the same guys making the Stay in the Kitchen jokes are the same ones complaining about "teenie weenie" jokes.
    • It's "funny" because whatever your response is, Stay in the Kitchen covers it. It's an all-purpose shut down, saying that because you're a woman you're not allowed to do anything but serve men. They're not laughing because of the words, they're laughing at your frustration at not being allowed in the Boys Only clubhouse.
      • The awful thing is you're probably be right on that one. And then you wonder why so many women don't get along with men no more. Whenever we say something, it's always "Shut up bitch! Back to the kitchen and do the only thing you're good at apart from giving me ass!". If this is supposed to be empowering or "manly", it falls flat on its face because it means you can't actually talk to a woman.
      • I think it's funny because it's nonsensical. Like I find Monty Python hilarious because it's nonsense. Using it to "shut down" an argument, like mentioned above, is funny to me for similar reasons. In reality, it doesn't make sense, and is rather insulting--which is why it's funny. I also think self-deprecating humor is downright knee-slapping, including jokes about races or weights or cultures or whatever else that I would fall into. To summarize, it's the nonsensical aspect that makes the quip humorous to some people.
    • Now, now, we don't all find it funny. This male troper looks down on those of his gender who do this sort of thing.
    • This troper wanted to be an astronaut as a kid, but later changed her mind after considering the odds of it happening (they have to choose you, it's not like filling out an application for a regular job). Some dolt of a conservative Christian woman gave me another reason: I'll be in close quarters with men (God forbid!) and, well, women just weren't meant to be floating around in space!
    • This male troper doesn't really have this generalization in his head. His dad does half the cooking as he works at home, while his mom is out at work half the day. His dad is also more skilled as a cook. This troper finds this joke to be stupid since it makes no sense in his context. Unfortunately, the joke would make sense in the context of other people.
    • Male troper's pet theory: most men don't find it funny. There just has to be one mysogynist in the group to crack the "joke" in the first place. Everyone else laughs uncomfortably and secretly thinks he's a jerk. The fact that the situation is very awkward already, and the knowledge that there really isn't a correct verbal response to people like that (sort of like feeding trolls) conspire to prevent anyone from openly confronting the smug perpetrator. Second pet theory: the only proper solution involves duct tape.
    • It's Trolling, pure and simple. It's not a funny joke, but the reactions of exasperation and maybe outrage are what trolls want anyway.
    • As a male troper who enjoys sexist jokes... And racist jokes... And anti-semitic jokes... and offensive jokes in general really. I have to say that I, and the vast majority of others who make them, do not take them seriously. At all. They're just meant for a cheap, quick laugh. We generally don't actually agree with them and if someone were to actually take them seriously, we think that person is an idiot. And someone starts thinking that we are taking them seriously? Then that person is an idiot too.
      • ... Actually, when i think more about it, it's more like the funny part of the joke is how offensive it is. And that somebody, somewhere, would actually believe something that bad.
      • You see, since we can't read minds, there's no way to tell you apart from the real sexists/racists/antisemitic people if you really laugh at these jokes.
  • Addendum. There is something that I personally find VERY interesting about this whole Stay in the Kitchen BS: it's like men feel entitled to demand to be served. And exactly WHAT gives you this entitlement? I mean, I'm like many women, I don't mind cooking your food but it's not something you're entitled to nor is it something that you can demand from us. It's something we give to you, not something we ought to do or else. Because, in the end, if you go on demanding something that should come naturally from us as a gift of love, we will end up giving this to somebody who won't mind helping us around the house every now and then and who will give us real appreciation instead of treating us like servants. Personally, any man who starts commanding me to make his food will end up doing it himself.
  • As a male Troper, I agree with the sentiment of it's insulting nature. My mother, who does most of the cooking, is also capable of fighting (Used to do for fun as a kid), does quite a lot of out doors work, and seriously enjoys hunting. She is one of the reasons I find this idea so degrading. Whenever I look at funny motivational posters, I see a stay in the kitchen gag if a woman is in the picture. Once I almost punched my computer out of frustration. Also, I noticed some women seem to think all men agree with this position. We don't.
    • Personally, I find "you're all sexist" to be on the same level as this. People are individuals, we have different abilities, opinions, and interests. We aren't just extensions of our gender.
  • What has me scratching my head over this trope is the sheer number of people who don't get it and/or are offended by it. To me, the joke was always more a mocking of stereotypes. I doubt that even a third of the people who make these comments really take them seriously(I know I certainly don't, at least), but they're still funny because of how ridiculous and dated they sound in a modern age. The fact that so many people bitch about them just adds to the humor. Also to the lady at the top of the page: I make fun of my hilariously-small penis all the time. Most men that I know who aren't extremely insecure about their equipment usually do, and sometimes even a good portion of the insecure ones will be extremely brutal towards their own junk as a coping mechanism( Case in point: Your's truly.). So I don't know where you pulled that comparison from, but it's not a very good one. People really need to learn how to laugh at everything. It's all a joke, don't you see?
    • Except Real Life isn't a comic book and The Joker is a fictional character, not a real one. If it's a joke, why do most men on the Interwebz use it as an insult?
      • You got the statistics to back the claim that "most men on the Interwebz use it as an insult"?
    • There are, in fact, men who still use Stay in the Kitchen seriously. Usually, it's impossible to tell the difference between them and the men using it as a joke.
      • Every attitude that fades away leaves relics. Well it's not fading away everywhere, but that only helps create more relics where it is.
      • While people who hold such sexist views exist, the particular "Stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!" line is never used on the internet outside of satire.
    • It's offensive because it's almost always men making the "joke". The current status quo on N-Word Privileges is where it is for a reason. You just can't have the former oppressor group joke about these thing and expect everyone to get it and be OK with it. And even if it is satire that still doesn't explain what the hell you are trying to communicate.
      • That people are easily offended and it's funny to watch them get frustrated but be unable to do anything about it? Also, screw N-Word Privileges. Holding something to a "that's NOT okay" standard is the very thing that keeps it in power. Which would you prefer: To constantly be hurt by something (basically because the society you grew up in told you to be hurt by it) or to be able to laugh it off whenever somebody intends to hurt you with it because it's so common that it feels like nothing?
        • It is, however, very easy to say "you should just laugh it off" when you don't happen to be a member of the group that the 'joke' is designed to offend / degrade / dismiss / condescend to in the first place, however. The very act of telling the joke in the first place keeps it in power, since it keeps it in circulation.
          • Telling the joke just keeps it in circulation. Being offended by it gives it the power to offend. For example, if I may get personal here: I am a fat kid. I also live in the Southeastern region of the United States. I don't get offended by fat jokes OR redneck jokes, even when they're told directly to my face and meant specifically for me. Why? Because I don't take the joke seriously. Hell, I make fat redneck jokes at my own expense. I think that's what people who are offended by certain jokes need to do for a while. They need to start telling the jokes themselves. Once you've told yourself everything that could possibly offend you, what can the world do to you?
Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Stay_in_the_Kitchen/Headscratchers?oldid=960692"