The Adventures of Dr. McNinja/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Dr. McNinja: *adopts overly-cheerful tone* ...well...whooooo waaaaants pizzaaaaaa?

  • When Mr. McNinja has to go into hiding, and Dr. McNinja finds him and agrees to help him out. His father is at a pirate's bar, disguised as a pirate.

Dan McNinja: (rips off pirate disguise) Hell yes! And let's burn this place down on the way out!
(Every pirate in the bar glares daggers at him)
Dan McNinja: What. Oh, like there's enough of you here to scare me. "Oh, jeeze o peets, what an awkward situation! I went and upset all the pirates in the bar. Gulp." I STILL WANNA BURN THIS PLACE DOWN! YOU HEAR ME?! I DON'T CARE.

Dr. McNinja:'re the best ninja ever.

    • And of course, Dan's retort:

(A bunch of peg-faced pirates run around frantically)
Dan McNinja: What was that about?
Dr. McNinja: Oh... I guess they were crew on O'Shay's ship. Um... I cut off their faces. This probably made them scared of the sound of my voice.

Dan McNinja: You're the best doctor ever.
—Alt-Text steals the show: "Hahaha! They are blind and mute, AND THEN THEY RAN INTO A WALL! AHAHAHAHA."
  • Then there's the McNinja home defense system...

"When I say 'HAPPY', you say 'BIRTHDAY!' HAPPY-"
"AAAAAAAH!!!" [1]

  • Dr McNinja smells pirate. And decides to use the toilet. Perhaps you'd better read that in context.
  • The Alt Text. Also:

Dr. McNinja: *flips the double bird* UNH! YEAH! (notices he's flipping off a woman and her baby) Oh! No no no! That's not at your baby! It's at the moon! You can't see it, but it's at the moon, and...OH FORGET IT YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS AT YOU NOW. I JUST SURFED A ROBO DRACULA FROM THE MOON, SO Y'ALLS CAN JUST TAKE IT!

    • Followed up by this next phrase:


Dr. McNinja: So what do you go by?
Clone: Old.
Dr. McNinja: "Old"?
Clone: Old McNinja.
(Dr. McNinja glares at the clone, and what's coming next)

Clone: I'm a farmer.[2]

  • Old McNinja scaring kids off his farm, perched in a tree and whispering to them in a ghostly voice.

Old McNinja: "Come play with us! Come play on the farm forever... We'll play in the... Blood... And... Stuff. You'll die."

We are having a good time with sound effects over here.

From the forums: "I can say from experience that this was no mustache power. Anytime a mustachioed individual performs a sick nasty dunk, the mustache will reflect it."