The Mummy Trilogy/Funny

The Mummy

Beni's attempt to save himself from Imhotep with a cross and a prayer to Jesus. When it doesn't work, he pulls out a necklace hung with about twenty different religious emblems and goes through them one by one trying to find a god who will save his life.
- Beni in general. Especially when threatened by Rick.

Beni: Think of my children!
Rick (pauses): You don't have any children!

Beni: ...Someday I might.

Oh no! Jonathan is about to be attacked by a mob of Imhotep's followers! What does he do? He opens his eyes real big, staggers around, and starts saying: "Im-ho-tep" in a vacant tone. And it actually works!
The barge is on fire and the Warden runs up to Rick (who was previously his inmate and nearly had him hanged):

Warden: O'Connell! O'Connell! O'Connell! What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?!
Rick: Wait here! I'll get help!
Warden: Right!
(Rick jumps in the river and leaves the Warden on the fiery barge.)
(Beat)
(Warden roars in anger, jumps into the river and follows Rick.)

The aftermath of the attack on the barge, where everybody has had to swim for the shore while attempting to gather everything needed for the journey onwards.

Beni: HEY, O'CONNELL! IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE I'VE GOT ALL THE HOR-SES!
Rick: HEY, BENI! IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RI-VER!

"You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you, Beni?"
After Imhotep makes the plane crash Beni says:

"I loved the sand wall trick, it was beautiful. (quietly) Bastard."

Rick's reaction to the mummy soldiers.

"Nu-uh."

Rick's threat to Beni, and Beni's response.

Rick: Your gonna get yours Beni, you hear me!? Your gonna get yours!
Beni: Oh, like I've never hear that before!

Jonathan and Ardeth Bay strapped to the wings of the plane. The Stoic Ardeth is clearly having the time of his life, and Jonathan is definitely not:

Jonathan: DO I BLOODY LOOK ALRIGHT?!

When Rick first encounters Imhotep (who has only just arisen and is pure Mummy), their conversation goes like this:

Rick: [having just seen Evie] There you are! You've been playing hide and seek? Now come on, let's get out of her- [sees Imhotep] WHOA!
Imhotep: [opens his mouth unnaturally wide] ROOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!
Rick: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! {{[[[Talk to The Fist]] shoots him in the face}}] Move!

From one of the deleted scenes, the group is still traveling through the desert when they come upon a group of skeletons.

Rick: [casually gestures towards one of the skeletons as he realizes something] I knew that guy.

The not-fully-regenerated Imhotep's fear of cats.

Rick: (holding a cat) Look what I've got!

The Mummy Returns

Alex to Imhotep: "My dad's gonna kick your arse."
The train scene. Alex and Lock-Nah. "I don't trust you! You'll look!"
After they've fought off all the mummies on the bus and pretty much destroyed the bus, Rick asks everyone if they're all right. Priceless response from Ardeth Bay: "This was my first bus ride."
The part where Jonathan is looking at the pygmy mummies, wondering how they managed that, and the others look at him as if to remind him of what happened the last time he poked at something...
Izzy's barrage of complaints upon meeting Rick again, including the immortal "I'm in mourning for my arse!"

Izzy: Remember that bank job in Marrakesh?

Evelyn: Bank job?

Rick: It's not like it sounds.

Izzy: Oh it's exactly how it sounds! I'm flying high, hiding in the sun, the white boy here flags me down, so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hangin' out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl.

Evelyn: Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk...

Izzy: As long as I don't get shot.

- Sets up for a gag at the end:

Izzy: O'Connell! You almost got me killed!
Rick: At least you didn't get shot.

At the end, Jonathan and Izzy are arguing over the gold sceptre thingy:

Jonathan: "I swear on the head of my wife, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Izzy: "You haven't! You ain't got a wife!"

Jonathan: "Well I haven't got a gold stick, either!"

Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

The Teracotta Warriors empty a barrage of arrows into an opposing army of heroic skeletons. This naturally has no effect on the already dead targets, and one of the undead says in perfect and completely un-subtitled Chinese to his comrade "Your head's over here."
That Yeti kicking that soldier over the gate and his friend throwing up his arms as if saying "It's good!"
At one point in the movie, the two official couples (Rick and Evelyn & Alex and Lin) are cuddling with each other in the cold. Who is Jonathan with? A yak.
- Possibly a nod to the end of the first movie when he asked a camel for a kiss.
"Mummies were later found in Peru."

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