Ugly Americans/Funny

This exchange from Hell for the Holidays:

Twayne: I decided I'm going to kill you anyway.
Mark: Wait, what?
And then Twayne proceeding to dismember Mark easily

"Mrs. Boneraper, Twayne hurt himself!"
Mark learning how to speak Manbird.

Mr. Calametti: Manbird is the most difficult and least popular language on the planet. There's over 500 variations of this phrase alone. Say it loud. Say it proud.
Mark: (Hesitantly) Sssuck my balls. (Mr. Calametti slaps him) Ah!
Mr. Calametti: You just called my father a coward!
Mark: (Cheerily) Suck my... balls!
Mr. Calametti: Now you're asking for salad.

- And later...

Mr. Calametti: You threw him off the roof!? I thought you were a social worker!

Mark: He looked ready! Clearly... he wasn't.

"Sara. No."

Twayne: This is gonna be reeeeal freaky.

The entirety of "Kill, Mark... Kill!", with the focus being on the many, many deaths of the mini-Leonards.

Mini-Leonard: I regret this decision! *After getting into a windowless van*

Mack Maggotbone's advice to Twayne in "Callie and Her Sister", to simply "think of something you like" when having public sex with her.

Twayne: Ponies, Ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies.

- And from the same episode... poor, traumatized Doug, having to see Callie's parents reunite in a way that made even Callie cringe!
After Leonard and Spell-sick Mark joust when Mark stands over Leonard this exchange occurs.

Leonard: I can see your whole shlong from down here.
Mark: Then you die a lucky man.

Clone!Mark and his glove of doom.
Pretty much the entirety of "Mark Loves Dick". Filled to the brim with hysterical Ho Yay.
- When they saw the Kraken, their response: literally pissed themselves. With one of them saying "craaaap."
The entirety of "The Dork Knight".