Double Entendre/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


This girl walks into a bar and orders a Double Entendre. So the Bartender gives it to her!
Traditional
"If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
Benny Hill, Groucho Marx, Mel Brooks, John Cleese, Black Mage, and many others
"I put the 'in-you' in innuendo."
—Gary Dendthwidth, The Physics Of Giving

Hinjo: There's not anyone aboard yet, What's going on here?
Lien: This was Lord Shojo's personal pleasure yacht. I suppose it belongs to you now.
Lien: This is your junk.
Hinjo: But why aren't there any citizens aboard yet?
Lien: Your uncle was a very private person, sir. He forbade anyone from touching his junk.
Hinjo: Well that ends now. My uncle may have kept his junk for himself, but my junk will be for the people.
Hinjo: Are there still evacuvees waiting to board a ship?
Lien: Oh, yes sir. I imagine I'll have no trouble finding peopling willing to get aboard your junk.
Lien: It should be able to hold many passengers.
Hinjo: I agree. My junk appears to be very long...
Roy: Wider than I would expect too.
Hinjo: Very well. Lien, you will hold my junk here until it is fully loaded.
Lien: That could take some time, Lord Hinjo...
Hinjo: I don't care how long it takes. I do not want my junk to launch prematurely.
Hinjo: Now, did you deliver that package for me?
Soldier: Yes, sir. I handled your package personally.

Hinjo: Outstanding.
The Order of the Stick, #418: "It's a Type of Boat".

[Hannelore and Marigold exist Marigold's room looking groggy and disheveled.]
Angus: Busy night, eh?
Hannelore: Yes, very!
Angus: It sure sounded like you were enjoying yourselves.
Hannelore: Oh no, did we keep you up? I tried to be quiet!
Angus: It's cool. It's hard to be quiet when you're that excited.
Hannelore: At first I wasn't really sure what was going on, but Marigold explained everything as we went along, and then I just go carried away, you know?
Angus: I'm impressed you were able to keep up with her all night like that.
Hannelore: Heheh, I'm sorta regretting it now. My butt is all sore!
Marigold: HANNELORE, he's IMPLYING--
Angus: No! Don't say it! You'll break the spell!
Hannelore: (to Marigold) My favorite part was when you took on those four guys at once! And then that giant dog!

"Are you ready to contend with what's in my pants?"
"After I play Buster Brothers I'm gonna bust a nut!"
"I'll show you why they call me Big Dong Donkey Kong."
"Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the Playstation."

"I'll show something that's Weltall"
—Some of the videogame-related double entendres made by Diabetus for their Flights Of Fantasy retsupuraes.
"I think the movie has reached its climax!"
"Nothing less than seven inches. That's my motto."
"Mama needs her cough medicine. And make it a double, Antandra."
—Jackie Washington, Jackie's Back!
"I'd like to double her entendre!"

Ann Romano: Damn it, Schneider! I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago!

Schneider: Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ", I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees", I...well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory.
Family Guy, The Son Also Draws