Have I Got News for You/Awesome

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Paul Merton has had a few on Have I Got News for You.
    • When Roy Hattersley pulled out for the third time in the final episode of series 5, Paul had to do the show with a Tub of Lard as his teammate, and his headlines in the Missing Words round were in French, German, Russian, Japanese, and English (but completely blacked out), only the first of which he could even begin to understand... and HE STILL WON!'
    • In the sixth episode of series 18, during Odd One Out, he demonstrates his knowledge of Beatles trivia when Ian's teammate Anna Ford fails to come up with the answer for a group consisting of Mao Tse Tung, Bob Dylan, a Walrus, and Jeffery Archer. Paul then takes charge:

Paul: It's Beatles: Mao Tse Tung is mentioned in the song "Revolution", Bob Dylan's mentioned in the song "Yer Blues", the Walrus is mentioned in the song "I AM the Walrus", and Jeffrey Archer is there because he appeared with the Beatles in 1963 having raised money with them to Oxfam, two points please!

      • He's done a lot of those laser-guided Odd One Out answers, occasionally grabbing one out from under Ian's nose. Fred MacAulay was on Ian's team in one episode and said to him, "I think I've figured out why Paul usually wins -- it's because he's quite good at the game."
    • In season 24, when Angus was booted for two scandals involving prostitutes and cocaine, the show needed a host to replace Angus on a very short notice. Who do they get? Paul, who does a very good job.
    • Season 27, episode 3 - Paul finally having enough of Robert Kilroy-Silk (who had kept interupting Paul during the whole show) and shouts at him "ROBERT, SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! ROBERT, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" One of the few times you really see Paul Merton so pissed off.
    • Season 37, when a member of the audience stands up during the filming of the credits angle, Paul calls the poor guy out, noting that they have to reshoot. When the second take starts, Paul unhooks his mic and starts running around like a loon around the stage, jumping around and doing a backwards roll. And he was 51 when he did it!
  • Ian also gets one whenever he does his "Jimmy Somerville" impression, especially in season 10 when he 'sings' like him during an impressions related round.
  • Also, Ian is the only one of the series to have appeared in every episode, even doing one show while suffering from Appendicitis! He was at the hospital before taping, but decided to rush over and do the show despite the fact he had a bad appendix. When the show was done, he rushed back to the hospital and had the surgery.
    • He's hilarious in that episode, too, clearly due to having even less patience than usual—he kept fidgeting and responded to EVERYTHING. One of the two top stories was the revelation that Conservative politician and self-described Nazi Alan Clark had been having affairs with the entire family of some equally right-wing judge. Following a comment from Paul that how Clark should "get the father drunk and go for a full house," Ian launched straight into a long rant about how horrible everyone involved was, which got a round of applause and only stopped when Angus pointed out that no one had actually given the answer yet. The rest of the episode features him bitching about trains and utterly ignoring Mariella Frostrup's attempt to bring up Private Eye's mockery of her, and perhaps best of all, when Paul, aided by Neil Kinnock, had engaged Angus in a somewhat Seinfeldian Conversation about whether it's cool to make a joke with the premise that Irishmen walk around carrying pigs under their arms, Ian can suddenly be heard (offscreen and in a slightly strangled voice) remarking, "Pigs in the West Midlands have an Irishman under their arm."
  • A collective one in October 2009. Nick Griffin (leader of the right-wing British Nationalist Party) had been getting huge publicity all week thanks to press stupidity. Then his picture appeared in the "guess the major news story" round... and all four panelists (Ian, Paul, and guests Ed Byrne and Grayson Perry) agreed that they had no idea who he was. Presenter David Mitchell immediately moved them on to the next question, effectively dismissing Griffin as an irrelevance.
  • Clive Anderson during the infamous Piers Morgan episode. The eleventh series suffered for not having Paul there, but you couldn't have asked for a better replacement.

Clive Anderson: Surely you must have covered this {{[[[Yet Another Baby Panda]] random story about a German hippopotamus dying after accidentally swallowing a tennis ball}}]? Page-five sort of story?
Piers Morgan: What do you know about newspaper editing, Clive?
Clive Anderson: About as much as you do, Piers.

    • There are quite a few moments of awesome in that episode, all coming from Morgan showing his true colours. For the odd one out round, Piers used a joke that Eddie Izzard had used last week (randomly saying "Jam" as the answer); when he fails to get a laugh, he tries to bully the audience into laughing at it, and Ian says why Eddie got a laugh and Piers didn't: "People like him."
    • There's then another one stemming from that moment; in the Missing Words round, Ian uses the 'jam' gag and gets a laugh. Morgan replies "Don't try the popularity line with me, Hislop," and then appeals to the audience to see if anyone likes him. Keep in mind that this is Morgan going on Ian's show, picking a fight with Ian, then expecting the audience to take his side. The audience promptly cheer and applaud in support of Ian, thus giving the audience a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
  • Ian's unexpected Expospeak Gag description of the J-Lo song "Jenny from the Block."
  • In the Teddy Taylor episode, they had an intentionally absurd round involving giving each team three glasses of water and having them guess which of three locations they came from. After a while, Paul gets bored and names a random sequence, which turns out to be the correct one. When it's his turn, Ian follows suit and also makes a random guess... which also turns out to be right. (Paul: "No one's ever going to believe that.")
  • Angus giving Neil and Christine Hamilton their "fees" in brown envelopes, and Ian asking Jonathan Aitken to pay him back the money Private Eye lost being sued for printing stuff about him that he later went to jail for.
  • The fact that Salman Rushdie was on the show.
  • Ian's paper airplane.
  • Sir Patrick Moore accompanying the closing theme tune on the xylophone.
  • Everyone singing "Two Little Boys" at the end of the Rolf Harris episode.
  • Brian Blessed!
  • Angus Deayton got one in a few episodes after being subjected to a Humiliation Conga for his exploits with a call girl. Christine Hamilton was on, and Angus kept referring to her husband Neil (a former Tory MP) as 'disgraced'. Eventually Christine cracked.

Christine: Stop referring to my husband as disgraced. If he's disgraced, what are you?
Angus: I don't know, disgraced I suppose. But at least I didn't spend five years banging on about family values.

    • Paul is also at his bitchiest in that episode, in a noticeable contrast to the first time she'd been on, on his team (with Neil). In the DVD commentary for the first one, he and Ian both say that Paul tends to feel protective of whoever is on his team and not go after them as much as he might. In her second appearance, she was with Ian, and you find out exactly what he must have been thinking but not saying the first time.

Christine: [skirting the question of how much money she won in the lottery] It was a very tidy sum -- a damn sight more than you get paid to be on this program.
Paul: Well, they pay what people are worth.

  • The entire panel (but especially Paul) completely destroying Louise Mensch on her second appearance.
  • Ian and Paul completely destroying Nancy Dell'Olio, the annoying ex-girlfriend of former England football team manager Sven-Goran Eriksson. And then targeting guest presenter Jeremy Clarkson For the Lulz.
  • Alastair Campbell's show had a fair few. Ian's long Take That against Alastair Campbell (and give him one in return for taking it reasonably well), Alastair Campbell opting to release his anger by playing the bagpipes of all things, and Nick Hewer's long and well targeted rant against Jeremy Hunt.
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