Loners Are Freaks/Headscratchers

Ugh, THIS. I hate the American cultural concept that introverts are weird aliens that people can't possibly classify or recognize. Everyone always has to be happy happy happy and social all the time! If you're not, you're an outcast and we must forcibly put pressure on you to change your ways, because clearly introversion is a problem rather than a legitimate personality trait! The fact that this concept is so prevalent in the media just makes it even worse, since it means that it's hammered into peoples' heads at a young age. The idea that you should be friendly/kind to others is good, yes, and the fact that we're evolved to be social justifies this, but this concept just takes it way too far and I hate it hate it hate it. (Being American, I'm unfortunately rather ignorant of other cultures, so is it like this in other places as well, or just America?)
- It's not an exclusive American phenomenon. I've read an article where the author spoke of his experiences growing up in rural Norway. I don't remember everything, but the one thing that stuck was when he spoke of "forced socialization of those who want to be left alone" (It sounds a lot more dramatic in Norwegian). Sort of sums up the entire thing.
- I agree with this so much. Especially when some nutjobs write an article about a killer and include "S/he was lonely". Um, excuse me? So basically because I want to be alone means I'm plotting someone's death?
  - "Lonely" means feeling alone when you don't want to be. If you want to be alone, you can't be lonely.
- I also agree. I'm constantly outed as a "freak" because I don't enjoy "gal time" and being surrounded by friends on a constant basis. What's wrong with having space?
  - Being alone and being lonely are not the same, as far as I know. You can feel lonely even when surrounded by people, and vice versa, prefer to stay alone without any discomfort.
    - The main issue with Loners Are Freaks is that its a general recurring stereotype. Not ALL loners are freaks, but you can generally label someone who rarely ever spends time with other people as being a loner because in a lot of cases, theres an underlying issue as to why that is. It's still not a "everyone is like that" thing, but it's common enough to be a fair generalization.
- You have to remember that the majority of people do not consider loneliness something good. By 'brutally forcing you out of your solitude' they actually want to help you achieve happiness, having just a little different concept of 'happy'. They mean the best, so I would suggest being careful with the hating.
  - That can make it even worse. If people are dead set on "helping" you, whether you want them to or not, and refuse to listen because they're so convinced that they know what's best, the end results can be disastrous no matter what their intentions were. Sometimes ignorance and good intentions are more dangerous than outright malice (This condition defines the tropes Well-Intentioned Extremist, Utopia Justifies the Means, Totalitarian Utilitarian and Knight Templar).
- It is not only an American thing, although Hollywood certainly likes to play this troop way too much for my liking. Perhaps it is different on Eastern countries? About the above comment, I think the problem pointed by the OP was, precisely, the fact that people seems to associate being alone with something bad, and that the idea seems to be regularly encouraged by the media. Wanting to help the loner guy to find friends because you think s/he would be happier that way, fine, but obliging the loner to socialize because there is obviously something wrong with him and s/he can be harmful to society, not so much.
- The thing is, extroverted people just cannot understand introverted people. An introverted person would generally spend more time thinking than speaking, so nobody can really understand what they think. So naturally they would jump to this simple, mindless conclusion: Everybody is like them and so nobody likes being alone. Therefore, that person who doesn't speak much has a problem that must be solved, because obviously, nobody would want to be a loner.
- It's common sense to know that using force on those who want to mind their own business only makes them hate you and isolate themselves even more.
- Perhaps it's simply because our fast-paced extroverted society tends to judge a book by its cover. Just appearing to have a little Lack of Empathy around you automatically means you're The Sociopath (this is why Aspergers Syndrome patients and others with No Social Skills get shunned, due to being bad at expressing empathy, while real Sociopaths get into large social gatherings and assumed as normal extroverts simply for imitating how normal people act around them). Some extroverts do understand, unfortunately they're a minority compared to popular media's Jerkass extroverts.
It bugs me a little that this page implies that it's bad for a show to portray people without friends as unhappy. People who choose to be alone shouldn't be portrayed as bad or unbalanced people, true, but for some people (this troper included) not having friends really has been a painful experience!
- It's not really that portraying people without friends as unhappy is bad, the issue is that the trope assumes that all loners are at best weird/creepers and at worst psychopaths, without making any distinction between people prefer solitude and people who want friends, but don't have them. Because obviously anyone who WANTS to be alone is a creeper. All humans want friends. Anyone who doesn't isn't human. I think part of the problem is that the word "loner" lumps both types of people together in a single category. *sigh* If only tropers had the authority to split words like we sometimes split tropes.
  - that type of pressure happened to this troper who went to college, for example if you don't take part on a fraternity initiation, you will be left out on most academic activities, which I think its stupid, since all they do most of the time is singing stupid songs, rolling around in mud, commit fucking CRIME, etc... Also while I´m not the most talkative person around, I'm a more decent person compared to the jerkasses that are sociable, despite of that people still like to be around them. How the hell does that work?
- Generally, I'd say how people perceive loners has much more to do with how they act than with them being merely factually identified as loners. If you can still function perfectly normally around other people, people aren't assuming sinister things about you just because you're a bit shy and/or aloof. If anything, they'd probably get more creeped out if they notice you hiding behind bushes and staring from a distance or something.
There is a BIG difference between a real loner and someone who enjoys moments of lonely and tranquility and prefers a few, true friends, rather than tons of "friends". However, for some idiots, not doing what society tells us to do in order to have fun (read: go to parties, drink a lot, fuck, get into debt) makes you a loner, at least in my country. Also, I think true loners are rare, every person who is a decent human being has, at least, one trustworthy friend, despite his or her shyness.
- Exactly. Still this is a very ingrained misconception that there's had to be books like The Introverted Advantage that basically assures the introverted people (like me) that there is nothing wrong with our chosen lifestyle.
- "Also, I think true loners are rare, every person who is a decent human being has, at least, one trustworthy friend, despite his or her shyness." Having friends isn't a prerequisite for being a decent person and that's exactly what this page is arguing against. You're generalizing everyone with a line like that.
- Who says that friend has to be a human, though? This troper's cousin is a "true loner". His best and only friend is a teddy bear that he's had since babyhood.
- And besides, who needs friends anyway? They're either dead weight or prone to stabbing you in the back. Fulfilling difficult tasks all by yourself is the mark of a truly great person.
  - Please tell me this is Poe's Law in action. Dear God, let it be.
To determine what we mean when we say all loners are freaks, we have to understand the two important terms used. First, what makes a loner? Someone with few friends? No friends? Who doesn't need any? Who doesn't want any? All these could be a valid definition. Which is applicable in our usage of the word? Second, what does it mean to say someone's a freak? Does it simply denote difference, or does it imply that deviation in this area is negative, somehow inferior to normality? If the former, then inherently all loners are freaks. It is normal to be social. If the latter, we need only one example of a loner who is not a freak to prove that not all loners are freaks. Assuming this is true, we need to define what a loner is before we can find such an example. Anybody can agree that there are plenty of people with a few close friends who are not freaks. I have no experience with the other three possible definitions of a loner, and leave the confirmation that they are not freaks to any further tropers that do have such experience.
I'm not outgoing at all and only like being in public some of the time, usually because I like being a sarcastic foil to others or just being there without contributing to conversation. What does that make me?
- Well, I believe that extroversion/introversion can't be seen as as binary classifications, or even a single sliding scale. A person could be extroverted for a number of reasons, such as liking to entertain others, or getting positive reinforcement, and likewise, a introverted person could act that way for a number of various and unrelated reasons. But, just as winners write the history books, extroverts create the general culture of a society, so enjoying extroversion is played up, and introversion is cast as a strange and perhaps dangerous path. Just my 2 cents.